Page 66 of Eternal

DAMIR

“The Beach” by The Neighbourhood

Present

I wake up alone in this bed, and I remember our night.

I grabbed her hand yesterday, held her against me, and almost kissed her. I listened to her story, and for the first time, I told her mine. For a few hours, she made me forget what she did before I arrived.

But whatever happened, whatever she buried deep, it still clung to her.

I get up, splash cold water on my face, and head to the living room.

It smells good.

She’s making breakfast.

She’s still in her pajamas, standing by the stove, hair in that same messy braid from last night, loose strands falling over her face.

She looks softer in the morning light, different than she does when she’s holding a gun, more like the girl I saw in the dark, the one whispering truths neither of us were ready to face.

But the first thing I notice?

She didn’t go for a run, and didn't train this morning. She slept, and she did it next to me .

I take a step closer, but before I can move again, she turns, her gaze lands on me, and for a second, I forget what I was going to say.

Blue and green, fascinating and beautiful. It’s making my heart weak in a way that feels like dying.

“You slept here last night.”

I probably look like an idiot because I’m just standing there, staring at her like she’s something I want to keep.

“Hey?” She repeats and I smile.

“Morning to you too, partner . And yeah, I did.”

She turns back to the stove, flipping the eggs, but she glances at me again. “Why?”

I take a seat, stretching out, watching the way her fingers move as she plates the food.

“Because you were begging me to stay,” I say, smirking. “‘ Please, Damir, stay with me. You’re the best. I want you to cuddle me so bad ? — ’”

She lets out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. “No, I didn’t. You’re insane.”

Laugh more, please. I love the sound of it.

“Yes, you did,” I replied, grabbing her waist to pull her closer. “I even had to put a cushion between us ‘cause you started hugging me in your sleep. Didn’t know you were a cuddler, it took me by surprise.”

She scoffs, but she’s laughing again, and I swear it settles something in my chest. She slides a plate in front of me and sits beside me, too far for my liking.

“Told you you were insane,” she murmurs, taking a bite.

I taste the food and smile. “This is good. Didn’t know feeding me was your new kink.”

She gives me a look but doesn’t pull away when I reach for her chair, and drag it closer, until her thigh brushes against mine.

“Now, that’s a way to thank me,” I murmur.

She raises a brow, chewing, unimpressed. “Hey, why are you gluing me to you?”

I shrug because I don’t have a good answer. “Kinda used to have you close. Now I can’t seem to accept you being far from me.”

She stops mid-bite from her bowl of yogurt and cereals. Her knee brushes mine under the table, just barely and it makes my throat tighten.

I swallow it down. “You want to ask something, right?”

She hums, tilting her head, studying me like she’s picking me apart, piece by piece, like she’s trying to see past the lie.

“You know,” she says slowly, “I’m still not convinced about your whole identity story thing.”

My chest tightens, but I don’t let the smirk slip. The smile that spreads across my face says it all.

Catch me, Voron. Please do. So, I can stop this.

“Why?” I tease, tilting my head. “Am I such a horrible partner that you’re scared of trusting me?”

She doesn’t laugh.

Instead, her hand is on me, warm fingers along my jaw, tilting my face toward hers.

Her eyes are killing me… she should know better than to touch me like this.

“I’m getting attached to your presence,” she says, voice softer than I expect. “And I know it’s bad. I know you’re hiding something.” Her thumb brushes my chin, and fuck . “I just seem to not care enough.”

That’s what destroys me.

Not that she suspects, not that she’s caught the cracks in my lie, but she knows and still won’t stop herself. We’re in the same fucked up situation.

I swallow, slow. “It’s dangerous to not trust your instincts, you know.”

Her fingers linger before she pulls away. “You’re telling me?”

And it almost sounds like she’s smiling.

We eat, we laugh, just like always, then she smiles, a little too long, and it’s at me, and I don’t know why, but I can’t look away.

It feels like something I don’t have a name for

Something warm, something I want, something that makes me happy in so many ways.

I exhale through my nose, watching her, letting the silence settle. And then, “Let’s play a game.”

She lifts an eyebrow, unimpressed.

I lean forward, arms resting on my thighs. “I’ll ask you a question. You answer, and then you ask me one. I’ll answer. Fair trade. How about that?”

She doesn’t react immediately. She just gets up, taking her bowl and my plate, moving to the counter like she can just brush off the craving I’m feeling right now.

I follow, and just as she sets the dishes down, I cage her in, arms on either side of her, palms pressed against the counter.

My breath brushes the side of her face as I lean in, close but not touching.

“So,” I murmur, voice low. “What do you say about this little game?”

“Okay.” She replies with a smile.

I lean in just a fraction closer, my breath brushing her temple.

“I’ll go first,” I murmured. “Why did you decide to cook breakfast for me?”

She exhales sharply, like she wasn’t expecting something so… simple . But I wanted to know. I wanted to understand. I wanted her to tell me. I wanted to hear it.

“Because you stayed,” she says, voice quieter now.

Because I stayed.

My eyes flicker, but I don't react, and don't let her see how deep that answer sinks into me. Instead, I tilt my head. “Your turn, partner.”

She licks her lips, thinking. “Why do you never tell me the full truth about yourself?”

My jaw tightens. “Because you’d hate me if I did.”

Her fingers flex against the counter, and for a second, I wonder if she’s going to push me away, but she doesn’t. “Your turn,” she whispers back.

“Would you ever trust me fully?”

Silence .

Her breathing slows. “No,” she says, and her voice is steady. “I would never trust anyone fully.”

A muscle ticks in my jaw, but I only nod. “Your turn.”

She shifts slightly, like she’s trying to put space between us, but I don’t move. All it does is pull her closer. So close that my breath traces the curve of her collarbone.

Since when are collarbones so distracting?

“What’s your biggest regret?”

Her voice pulls my gaze back to reality, and the question lingers in the space between us, pressing heavily against my ribs.

Her eyes have always been pretty, that sharp contrast, the shifting colors, it’s like looking at the sky at every hour of the day.

My biggest regret?

I should lie, I should say something easy, something vague.

But she’s looking at me like she already sees the truth, like she’s daring me to say it.

I exhale. “That I’m still alive,” I say quietly.

Her breath catches.

The sky looks pretty sad right now, like she’s pitying me. But she’s not pushing any other answer from me.

My turn.

I watch her too closely, memorizing every flicker of emotion on her face. I don’t know why I ask it. Maybe I already know the answer, maybe I simply need to hear her say it.

“Would you be mad if I was searching for your name… and found it?”

Her breath slows, barely noticeable, but I caught it. She’s thinking, too long, too carefully, as if she’s deciding whether to lie.

But then, quietly, too quietly, she says, “I’d be mad if you left after finding it.”

Something twists in my chest. I grip the counter behind her a little harder, not trusting myself to move.

She lifts her chin, eyes steady on mine. And then, it was her turn . “Are you lying about who you are?”

I let out a sharp exhale, something that almost sounds like a laugh. But it’s pathetic, it’s almost sad. “I’ve always lied about it.” The words come out raw. “Even to myself.”

I lean in, just enough to close the distance but not enough to touch. She’s standing there in front of me, frozen, waiting .

Her chest rises and falls with each breath, colliding with mine, heart to heart . “Do you want to kiss me right now?” she asks with the softest voice.

I’m standing so close now, I can almost taste her breath on mine. I clench my jaw, keeping my hands to myself, forcing the words out, though they almost choke me. “Dying to.”

She doesn’t move.

“Would you want me to kiss you right now?” I ask back, voice raw, low, every word feeling like it’s dragged from the pit of me.

She studies me for a moment, then, with so much confidence, she whispers, “You’d die for it.”

Fuck .

We stay like this for a few seconds, and I’m burning, dying, like she promised. And she’s breathing softly, her eyes never leaving mine, and when I feel like I’ll snap, I take a step back, just one, but it feels like miles.

I’m about to lose it, and I know I can’t let that happen, not yet.

I turn my back slightly, just enough to get some distance, but my fingers brush against her arm, lingering for a fraction of a second longer than necessary.

“The day I kiss you,” I mutter, “is the day I can finally call you by your real name.”

She stiffens, and I feel her eyes burning into me. I lean in again, close enough to feel her pulse under my lips, but not touching.

Slowly, I graze my lips along her jaw, imagining how sweet she is, feeling how warm she is, just enough to make her shiver.

“Thank you for yesterday.” I pause, “You talked to me and I liked it. So, whenever you want to talk, do it again, partner .”

I pull away before I lose myself completely. Her breath catches, just barely, and I let it hang there, an unfinished promise. “Call and I’ll be there the next second.”

I walk away, but not before I hear her intake of breath, feel the way she’s standing a little too still, her heart pounding faster than it should.

And I don’t look back. I can’t.

Because if I do, I’ll kiss her. And if I kiss her, I’ll never leave.

Out here, I press my hands to my face. Sweat’s dripping down, my chest is burning like I’m suffocating, and I’m shaking… fucking shaking.

I want her. God, I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

Then my phone vibrates.

Lev

I found a lead on the files you asked for. You can start decrypting them. I hope it can help.