Page 149 of Eternal

AZRA

“Self-destructive” by Vorsa

Present

I t’s a strange feeling, this thing people call belonging. Like… having everything you need right next to you. Warmth. Love. Affection . But quiet. Peaceful. It’s comforting in a way that feels dangerous to me.

It makes you want to drop everything and stay still, to rest in the arms of someone whose heart only beats for you, even if my head keeps screaming I don’t deserve it.

But this morning… I believe in it. Only a spark.

I had breakfast with Damir, a bowl of cereal and yogurt, like always. We didn’t talk much, he was glowing a bit, he said he had something to take care of for my birthday tomorrow. Then he left, he looked happy. And that made me happy.

Dumb , I know.

I got ready fast. Before heading to the hospital, I took a detour, stopping by to see Vik and Kat. They had some call with the Pakhan and the Don.

As I parked, I saw him. Lev, that bastard, standing there smoking like nothing’s wrong.

I wanted to tear him apart. I hate him. And I swear, if it weren’t for Damir, I would’ve killed him already. But if I do it without explaining, Vik and Kat won’t understand. Not yet.

He’s standing there, dogs around him, my babies. I missed them, a whole week without seeing them felt like a year. I dream of one day keeping them, for good… But I’ve got no house for now.

I walk up, Lev smiles at me.

I kneel down and the dogs go wild, wagging, jumping around me. I whisper to them, touch their fur. They don’t need to understand words, they feel everything.

“Voron. Long time no see. You know where I can find Damir? Got some things to run by him, mission stuff.”

Liar.

Every word that comes out of his mouth feels like a nail in my skull, my heart’s hammering at the sound of it.

I look at him, and I see nothing, nothing but a rat.

And before I even realize it, I’ve got him by the throat.

My arm’s tight around his neck, and I slam him against the wall.

His cigarette hits the ground, he thrashes, he can’t breathe anymore.

“I know what you did, Lev.”

I squeeze harder, he gasps, begging with his eyes to let him go. And all I want to do is kill him, right here, right now.

“Your time will come. I swear it. Once I finish what I need to do… I’ll come back for you. And I’ll kill you slowly. Feed your flesh to my dogs. It’s the only thing a traitor’s good for.”

He slaps at my arm, desperate. I let him go. He drops down, coughing, eyes wide in panic.

“You’re insane… He should’ve killed you when he had the chance.”

I stare at him. “Maybe. But he didn’t. And If you do anything to him, I’ll find you and you’ll suffer for it.”

I head upstairs quickly, my footsteps barely echo on the wood. In front of the meeting room, I pause for a second, I already hear voices. I knock once, no more, then step in.

Vik and Kat are sitting across from each other, focused, the phone is between them on speaker.

I recognize the voices immediately. Elijah and Nikolai. They’re deep in discussion about the situation here: strategy, movements, security.

I sat down next to Kat. She gives me a soft smile and squeezes my hand between hers. “Hey, Visha ,” she whispers.

Vik gets up from his chair, walks over, wraps his arms around my shoulders and hugs me gently from behind. “Elijah, Niko… Azra’s here.”

“Hello,” I say quickly.

“Azra,” Nikolai replies warmly. “It’s good to hear your voice. Are you doing okay?”

“I’m good, I’m good. And you guys, over in Vesper? Is everything alright? Is Zanae okay?”

It’s Elijah who answers this time, “She really wanted to talk to you, but she’s with Brian right now, they’re working on something.”

“It’s okay. I’ll call her next week.”

We kept talking for about ten minutes. They update us, share a few things about recent activity in their cell, nothing unusual.

Once the call ends, silence settles over the room. Kat gets up to make us some tea, then she comes back with the cups and sets them gently in front of us.

“Tomorrow’s your birthday,” Vik says with a sly smile.

I chuckle quietly, blowing gently on the steam rising from my tea before taking a sip.

“For the first time, you’ll be here for your birthday. I’m so happy,” says Kat, sitting back down beside me.

There’s this feeling in my chest, like a knot I can’t untangle. Maybe it’s just exhaustion, or the fear of hoping again. They keep talking, but I set my tea down and feel their eyes shift toward me.

“I need to tell you something,” I say, my voice a little low.

Kat straightens slightly, attentive, and Vik leans on the table, they can tell right away it’s serious.

“I found out that my mother’s journal was altered.”

The silence hits all at once. Kat doesn’t speak, she waits, like she always does. “Someone tampered with her notes. Added names. Erased others. The whole thing was manipulated.”

“You mean… she wasn’t investigating the people you… took out?” Vik asks.

“Some of them, yes. But not all. She was going after something higher. Much higher. The journal was doctored to throw me off the real target. She was trying to expose the Veil entirely.”

Kat places her hand on mine. She gets it without needing to say anything. “So what are you going to do?” she asks softly.

“I have a lead. An address. And a code name Luxis Sheras. His real name is Ryad Shiraz. He’s a former FBI agent. He communicated with my mom for years through coded articles. He knew everything. What she was trying to reveal.”

“And you know where he is?” asks Vik.

“Yeah. In Vegas. At a hospital. He’s sick. Terminal. It’s now or never.”

Kat squeezes my hand a little tighter. Vik stares at me, more worried than usual. “You’re going alone?”

“Yes. Damir knows. He wanted to come, but… I need to do this alone this time. And I’ll be careful. Promise.”

They’re quiet for a moment, I know they trust me, but I also know they’re scared. Because I am too, I have this strange feeling… like I’m walking toward a door I won’t be able to close again.

“You know we’re here, Azra. If anything goes wrong, don’t even think twice. Call us. We’ll come.”

“Thank you.” I smile softly.

Kat pulls me into a long hug before I leave. She holds me a second longer, “You know I’m proud of you, right?” she whispers in my ear. “You’re not alone, okay?”

Vik comes over too, wraps an arm around my shoulders, and kisses my forehead. “ Kroshka, keep me posted, alright? I love you. Be careful.”

I nod, unable to speak. My throat’s tight. But I give them a quick smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Vik smiles and mouths silently: “Who, if not me?”

And I mouth it back: “Who, if not you?”

I walk out, the July heat smacks me in the face, and out to the side, the dogs are waiting.

The moment they see me, they run. Mischka jumps up on me, and Notch nudges my hand with his nose. I crouch and wrap my arms around both of them like they’re the only thing keeping me upright. “You guys love me too, huh?”

They lick my cheeks, nip gently at my fingers, and I let out a tired, quiet laugh. I stay like that for a while, forehead resting on their warm fur. I could stay like this forever. But I can’t. Not today.

I stand, whisper one last “I’ll be back soon,” then swing my leg over the bike.