Page 59 of Eternal

AZRA

“I Want None Of This” by Radiohead

Present

P eople lie.

They lie when things get hard to admit, they lie when they feel like it’s needed to keep their world calm. And they lie about themselves. To keep their images clean, to keep their lies buried away.

And I know what I need to do.

I’m all a lie myself. The personality I have, the things I love, the person I am.

I read her journal yesterday. A new page, a new fear.

My mother lied about her state, she lied about her mental health, she lied about what scared her. She became what she never wanted me to witness. A mess. A hurt woman. A hurt mother. A violent one.

Back then, I never hated her for that, never hated her for making the last years we had together as a family chaotic.

I didn’t understand everything when I was a kid.

Didn’t understand why she was always on alert, why she stopped smiling, why she stopped going to work or taking care of us.

I didn’t even understand why she kept me from going to school like she wanted me in that house forever. Where she never gave back the love I gave.

I didn’t understand why Alexei would always be somewhere else with Eren but I understand now. I was too damaged, he didn’t want his son to feel this way because of his own mother like I did. He thought maybe he was worth saving.

But I never hated her.

I loved her. I loved my mom who taught me about flowers. I loved her for making me love the blue sky, the blue ocean. Loved her for offering me irises to wake me up and singing those poems she loved so much.

Some people ruined her.

And I had their names.

So, I needed to punish them

My next target is having a big dinner tonight. I’m supposed to be resting for my days off. If we can call them that.

But he’s here. Tonight, Antony Darveaux is here.

The man who built his empire on more than food. The man whose kitchens were filled with more than simple chefs. The man who disappeared the moment my mother was killed. He’s been hiding for years.

But it felt weird. How the names were all hiding. Like they fucked up somehow or felt guilty because they went too far after slaughtering us all that night.

But tonight, he’s stepping into the light again and so close to me. A private estate, a dinner with his friends and family perhaps. Halloween dinner.

I wouldn’t have even known if I hadn’t tracked the food shipments, the last-minute changes in the catering staff.

They need more hands tonight.

More servers.

One of those was supposed to be a certain Yelena Gabo. Twenty-seven, working under a fake visa. She won’t be showing up tonight. I sent her away, sent her to a fake address.

I will.

The only problem? They’re driving the staff in. No personal vehicles allowed, no easy exits, and once I’m in, I’m in.

Paranoid much…

But that means I need a ride back. And I only know one person who’s intelligent enough to be here, ask no question, and take me back home.

I text him the address with one word after our call. “ Midnight .”

He’ll be there, I know he will.

The uniform is simple, a black little dress, white apron, and polished shoes.

I strip down, folding my clothes in the exact order I’ll put them back on later.

A garter at my thigh, holding a thin blade that’s pushing through my skin almost. A vial of poison tucked into the folds of my apron, slow enough to be blamed on a weak heart, quick enough that no one is going to leave the room alive.

And my favorite addition, the flowery silver pin I twist into my hair, securing it in a tight knot. Looks like an accessory, but feels like a weapon.

One pull, and the sharp edge appears. Perfect for a throat.

By the time I step out the door, I’m no longer me, I’m Yelena Gabo.

I stare at the journal before stepping out.

I’ve read this entry so many times that the ink might as well be carved into my bones. But still, I keep reading, keep tracing the letters with my fingers, mouthing the words like a curse I can’t get away from.

I should have walked away when she told me.

When Alina, his ex-wife grabbed my arm outside the courthouse, her eyes went wild. “He follows me. He watches. He knows I saw.”

I almost didn’t listen. The wife of Antony Darveaux, the man the world worships, the man whose hands create art on a plate was in reality a mess, barely coherent. But then she said something that made my blood run cold.

“I saw them. In his office. The files. The girls. They were so young. Please check this.” She slid a usb thing in my hand. And then she left, disappearing into the crowd like she hadn’t unraveled something unspeakable.

I should have walked away.

But I didn’t.

I saw them too, she took pictures of what she found. Young girls, still in their working dresses. Not as old as 17, drugged and laying on the tables. I can’t even imagine what happened there.

So, I started watching him, like he watched her. Like, soon enough, he started watching me.

At first, it was nothing. A black car parked across the street from my office. A shadow moved past my window when I took my morning coffee. Maybe I was imagining it. Maybe it was paranoia. The alcohol does make me see things these days…

But then the flowers came.

A bouquet of irises. My favorite. Left in my office with a small box tied with a silk ribbon.

I knew better than to open it. But I did anyway.

Inside, nestled like a jewel, was a small, curled piece of flesh.

I knew that tattoo…Alina’s. She was gone. And I was next.

The note was short, and elegant. Like an invitation to a private dinner, stop searching, or your turn will come.

I should have listened, I regret it now. I feel like I’m learning too much, and it’s all linked, but I can’t see clearly yet...

I need to go now, Azra is screaming at me that she finished doing her cake with her dad.

Gosh I hope I didn’t make her a target,

Be careful Amane, be careful.

I’m going insane writing to myself…

Okay see you soon me.

- yourself, Amane.

I slam the journal shut. My mother was right, she was right about him, right about the things no one wanted to see. And she died for it.

Antony Darveaux.

I push the journal aside and stand. I have a job to do, so, let’s be the best employee of the month.