Page 47

I started talking about the things I wanted out loud a year ago.

While watering my plants, playing Sims, or just reading a book and relaxing or yearning for something I read.

I spoke about wanting a relationship where I felt seen.

Where the person saw who I was, not who I used to be.

I spoke about wanting to feel taken care of in my next relationship, and not financially.

It was easy for a man to spend money on you, but did he know when your nervous system was out of whack?

Could he take one look at you and know something wasn’t right with you?

Those were the things I asked God for, knowing that my current relationship would be ending. Did I expect for Antwan to literally break up with me?

No.

I guess God knew I would continue to drag it out, and he decided to have him do it. “Yeah. I’m just having a good time right now. Benard is a good time, and I can tell that if things even became serious, he wouldn’t fuck around with me.”

“Benard?” I cracked up laughing.

“Not too much on my Beanie Weanie.”

“Girl, stop calling him that.”

We both had tears in our eyes as we laughed about her nickname for that grown ass man, that I’m sure killed people for a living. “Whatever. Are you gonna tell Antwan, since you know…”

“Absolutely not. He will make everything about him and try to force me to keep the baby. I didn’t plan on telling either of them.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“Landon made me feel safe… like I could tell him, and he wouldn’t judge or try and force me to make a decision that he wanted me to make.”

“And he hasn’t.”

“Yeah.”

Greene removed herself from the sink and then came over toward me. “I love this for you, Navy. You deserve to be where you are loved and celebrated for being you.”

“He wants my parents to meet his siblings.”

“What?”

“What’s wrong?”

Greene laughed as she backed away. “Zoya and Kora are cool... it’s Menace that I’m worried about. Auntie A may fuck around and pull her notepad out and try and take their kid away.”

“Greene Jade, shut the hell up!” I shoved her while she continued to crack up laughing, as I finished my makeup.

Me and Greene continued to chat while I did my makeup and hair. Beans had called her to go with him to a restaurant in town, while I was putting my heels on. I wore a pair of Tom Ford strappy heels that were a bit of a splurge, but it was a birthday gift to myself.

Plus, London had to force me to go through with the purchase because I kept trying to talk myself out of getting them. I was sitting on the edge of the bed fastening the strap of my heel when Landon walked in.

I checked to see if my tongue was hanging out my mouth when he walked into the room. Dressed in a tan, knitted, button-down, short-sleeve shirt and tailored dress pants that fell perfectly over his Hermes slides, exposing his feet.

“Lan, you look fucking good.” I couldn’t hide my excitement as I took him in, and was ready to pounce on him.

Walking toward me, he kissed my lips and then helped me to my feet. “Fuck me… you did exactly what I needed from you. Fucking sexy as shit. Let me see your feet.”

I lifted my dress and showed him my shoes, and he bit his bottom lip. “Oh, you getting some tonight, Bleu.”

I laughed. “So, you approve?”

He fixed one of my curls and then looked down at me. “Hell yeah.”

The black SUV was already waiting for us when we exited the villa. Landon held my hand, as he pulled me behind him, then pulled me toward the front to enter the truck. He held my hand as I climbed up, and he got in behind me as Jett closed the door behind us.

“Is this our first real date?”

“First of many, Pooh.” He kissed my hand, as his hand roamed my thighs down to my ankles, where he lifted my feet into his lap. “These don’t hurt your feet?”

“A little. Beauty is pain, though.”

“Don’t want you hurting my feet.” He rubbed my toes.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?”

“You got a foot fetish?”

Landon laughed and licked his lips. “For pretty feet… fuck yeah.”

“Good to know. All I have to do is flex my toes and you’ll buy me books?”

“I’ll buy you books regardless, but you paint them this pretty pale pink, and you can get whatever out of me, Pooh.”

He reached over and kissed my lips.

Once again, his phone went off and his attention shifted. “What up? Hmm… sound like it should be a move. How you found out? You right… you find everything out. We’ll talk when I get home… bet.”

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, some shit that came up.”

“Hmm.”

“What’s that hmm for?”

“It’s not a bad hmm, if that’s what you’re hinting at. Just curious about you, babe… nothing more.”

He kissed my hand. “I got you.”

When we arrived at the restaurant, I could tell the view was going to be breathtaking. As we exited the car, I could see small peeks of the island through the trees that lined the front of the restaurant.

It was so quiet as we walked in and the host stood there ready to greet us. “Welcome to East. We are so honored and happy to have you dining with us tonight, Mr. Caselli,” the woman with long, blonde, boho braids greeted us.

I could hear a hint of an accent in her voice, as she looked over toward me with a smile. “Happiest birthday, Ms. Perkins.”

“Thank you!”

She waved for us to follow behind her, as she explained the menu to us. As we walked through the restaurant, I noticed that it was empty. “Where is everyone?”

“Oh, tonight is a special event. Mr. Caselli has paid to close the restaurant down tonight for just the two of you.”

I squeezed Landon’s hand as he smirked at me. “Anything for my baby.”

When I was in high school, every girl in my grade would get balloons for her birthday.

Whatever boy had a crush on them would get them balloons and deliver them to homeroom on their birthday.

I remember when Antwan got me balloons and flowers and brought them to homeroom.

You couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t that bitch because everybody was talking about it all day.

That was high school.

This man closed a whole restaurant so he could have me to himself while we enjoyed my birthday dinner. When we made it to the table, the view of the sun setting over the water and island had me in a trance. I was so caught up in the view that when I felt a hand on my back, I jumped.

“Mamas, be aware of your surroundings.” The voice had me stuck in place and not wanting to turn around because I was for sure losing my mind.

I turned around and my parents were standing there. My mother wearing a beautiful orange maxi dress, and my father in his two-piece set that he got from a website that he was skeptical about but eased up once his package arrived.

Landon stood behind them with his hands in his pocket smiling at me. “How? In…I spok… Momm…” I couldn’t finish a complete sentence to save my life.

They both hugged and kissed me on the cheek. “Happy birthday, baby. Landon called your father and asked if we could take off to come surprise you for your birthday. When I spoke to you earlier, I was trying hard not to let it slip.”

“So, you lied about work?”

“No, that was yesterday. I almost let it slip that I couldn’t wait to see and hug you later.” She hugged me tighter, like she had done when I was younger and saw something that broke her heart at work.

“Mommy… I cannot believe you both are here.”

My father held his fist out to Landon, and he bumped it. “Don made this shit happen. Appreciate you, G.”

“Ain’t nothing, Old Head.” They bumped fists again.

“Greene knew?”

“Yeah. I told her this morning when you were talking to your mother. I stuck around ‘cause Ro told me she can’t hold water.”

“Oh, fuck you, babe! Stop telling my business, ” My mother started laughing, as she hugged me again. “I needed this birthday hug from you. Can still remember when you were three and asked for your first birthday hug.”

I swiped away a tear. “It did feel weird that I didn’t get one from you today.”

“And now you have had one… beautiful baby.” She fixed my curls, and took me in. My mother wanted to be a mom.

This was what she wanted, and I was her dream come true. It felt so good knowing that my parents had wanted and prayed for me. Every child coming into this world should have felt wanted and loved.

My parents were seated, and I took Landon’s hand and brought him toward the front of the restaurant. “Lan?”

“Pooh, I told you that I’m a fixer. You spend your birthday with your family every year. I couldn’t bring them all here, but I could bring your parents to you. I’d do it again just to see the look on your face.”

I held his face and kissed his lips. “I love you… do you know that?”

“Let me hear you say it again, Pooh. I need that sometimes, you know?”

I hugged and kissed his lips softly. “Whenever you need to hear it from me, just tell me to say it.”

“Say it.”

“I love you, Landon. Sounds crazy, but I do. I only have this feeling right here for you.” I placed his hand on my chest as he looked at me.

“I love you, too, Bleu.” He kissed my lips and held me tighter against his body.

The tears were working double time on not falling down my face. I didn’t want to mess up my makeup. Seeing my parents had me emotional because Landon made that happen for me.

When we returned to the table, there was an orange box on the table. My mother was pointing at it, more excited than I was. “You didn’t think all I got you was a book for your birthday, Bleu.”

“I did and was perfectly happy with that.” I squeezed his hand, as he kissed the top of my head.

Standing over the box, I opened it and unraveled all the paper and dust bags and pulled out the exact bag that I was carrying tonight. “Canal Street, who?” my mother cackled, clapping her hands.

“Maaa, not too much on me.” I started laughing because she clowned me when we went down to Canal Street together. Instead of helping me haggle prices, she was hiding with her hood pulled over her head and looking around with her real purse. “You got me the real bag?”