Page 37

It was a short ride over to her apartment. As she let us inside, I locked the door behind me. She kicked her shoes off and went to the fridge to grab an energy drink. “I didn’t know you had a driver.”

“I do now.”

“Why now?”

I remained at the door. “Can’t tell you all that, Pooh. Just know I have one now.”

She took a sip of her drink and then looked down at her feet. “I’m pregnant.”

I paused.

We had been fucking without protection so I would never crack my mouth to ask if it was mine. I knew the possibility of her getting pregnant when I slid inside of her and was more focused on the feeling than the consequences that came with being reckless.

Both of us were.

“See, I knew you would think I was dumb, or trying to trap you.”

“Nah, nah, nah,” I quickly grabbed her as she tried to stomp past me. “Be fair, Bleu… let me process it.”

“You’re right. Sorry.”

“You good. You good.” I paced the small area, until I was near her desk that was near the window. Taking a seat, I leaned forward and look at her watching my every move, waiting for me to say something to her.

She stood there and crossed her arms, as she looked at me. “Why do you keep repeating yourself twice, Landon?”

I looked down at my hands. “Don’t take this wrong… I promise I’m not that kind of nigga. I’m just not ready to be a parent right now. Selfish considering I didn’t do anything to prevent that, but I’m being real with you.”

“There’s also the possibility that Antwan is the father. I slept with you both around the same time.”

“Okay.”

“ Okay? ”

“What else you want me to say? Be mad because you was fucking your boyfriend? It’s life.” I leaned back, feeling like the walls were closing in on me.

I just met my nephew earlier and I felt nothing.

Not like I didn’t love him, or no shit like that.

Honestly, I ain’t even know the little nigga, but there was love there.

I didn’t get any feelings of wanting to do the shit myself.

When I saw Corleon and Jeffie holding and loving on him, you could tell that was something that they wanted.

Babies had a way of pulling what you desired for your own life out of you, and I never felt that.

I’m not saying I don’t want kids at all, shit, I didn’t know what I wanted.

All I knew is that I loved to travel, lock myself in my office for hours and move the way that I wanted.

“I’m not keeping the baby. The doctor I found is going to do my tubal ligation and the abortion at the same time.”

It was how she casually let the shit fly like she was getting her teeth cleaned when in fact, she just mentioned that she was getting her tubes tied or removed. Shit, I didn’t know which one, but the calmness and joy in her voice couldn’t be missed.

“Elaborate.” I motioned for her to come over toward me.

Her body was back tense, and she was on the defense as she stomped over toward me.

It was funny how I could read her as if I had known her my entire life.

“I don’t want children, Landon, I don’t desire to be a mother.

Yes, that may be weird to you. No, you cannot change my mind.

This is something that I want. You can go on about your way if this doesn’t align with your life.

I am perfectly fine walking away and putting my wants and desires first.”

The words came out like she had rehearsed them a bunch of times. I could hear the cracks in her voice as she tried to pretend to be unbothered. “No.”

“ No? ”

“How the fuck you think I can move on without you, Bleu?” It was a serious question that I wanted the answer to.

She sat down on my lap slowly and turned to face me, her arms still folded. She was still on the defense, and this was her way of protecting herself. “Landon, this may be fun now, but feelings get involved. Every man feels that he can change a woman’s mind on her wanting children.”

“Feelings are already involved.”

“And you feel no way?”

“Not in this moment. How the fuck can I expect anything from you when this is new? Why am I worried about kids that ain’t even here when I’m trying to get to know you?”

She nervously smiled. “Yeah?”

I kissed her neck. “You said you wanted me to court you. I want to get to know you, Navy… not fucking worry about no kids.”

“That’s easy to say now.”

Kissing her face softly, her arms slowly uncrossed and her body became less tense. “It’s easy to say now because I’m not focused on kids, Navy. I’m concerned with showing you everything you deserve… knowing you. I plan to do that when we go away tonight.”

Navy looked at me confused. “What you mean?”

“We’re going away. Celebrating our birthdays together.”

Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks. I could tell they had wanted to fall earlier in the conversation, but she held onto them. “Even after what I just told you?”

I ignored her question. “Tell me where you wanna go. I’ll make that shit happen for you.”

She eyed me suspiciously, as if she didn’t believe me. “Why?”

“Cause I want to put a smile on your face. Want that bottom lip to quiver when I’m dick deep inside you out the country.”

“How do you know I want to leave the country?”

I softly bit her shoulder. “Navy, where the fuck you wanna go?”

She laughed. “I can pick anywhere?”

“Yeah.”

She looked at me. “I’ve never had someone take me away for my birthday… well, my parents took me to Disney World when I was sixteen but not a boyfriend.”

“I’m a boyfriend, Navy Bleu?”

She blushed and looked away. “Not like that… I’m not saying…um… shit,” she stammered.

Pulling her chin so she could look me directly in my eyes, she tried to look away. “I wanna be your boyfriend, fiancé, and husband, Bleu. May seem like I’m bullshitting, and I couldn’t possibly know. I fucking know.”

“How?” she softly questioned.

I took her hand and placed it on my chest. “This knows. I don’t feel like this with everybody. When we come back, I want you and your parents to meet my family.”

It was a big thing for me to bring a woman to meet my siblings. I had never done it, and the fact that I felt so calm with the idea of doing it told me I was ready for that. Navy and her family made me feel welcomed, included. They welcomed me into their folds without a second thought.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure, Pooh.” Our eye contact never wavered as we looked into each other’s eyes. She was afraid.

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Everything.” I held her chin and placed a soft kiss on her lips and pulled back. “You walking away.”

Shit hit me like a ton of bricks because that was a possibility on her end. Everything I was saying was words to her. I could up and walk out of her life like her ex-boyfriend did.

“Tell me where you wanna go?” I could convince her until I was blue in the face. The only thing that worked was action.

“I can go anywhere I want?”

“Anywhere,” I affirmed.

“St. Lucia.”

“Done.”

“Just like that?”

Holding her chin, I looked into her eyes. “Whatever you want, it’s my job to provide and make that happen. You asked me to court you with roses and shit, but Casellis don’t court that way, Pooh. Trips, diamonds and anything you fucking want from me is my way of courting you.”

Navy smiled at me. “And I’m not a gold digger in your eyes?”

“Where the fuck you pulling this shit from? I’m handing you the shovel… dig, Bleu.” I winked, and she kicked her feet excited.

“You can walk away, Landon… no hard feelings.”

I kissed her shoulders. “Can I still fuck you?”

“Yes… why?”

She quickly looked away as I intensely stared at her. “Just needed to know. Why St. Lucia?”

“My parents went for their honeymoon years ago. I don’t know. I’ve always aspired to have what they have. So maybe going where it all started might be good for the soul.”

“Hmm.”

“What about yours?”

The shit that I admired about Navy and her parents is that she was able to see their love. She knew about them, could pinpoint important staples and timelines in their marriage. I couldn’t do none of that shit because I didn’t know much about my parents.

“I don’t know, Pooh.”

She hugged me. “You’re probably tired. Go home to shower and relax.”

Navy tried to stand up and I pulled her back down. “Go pack some shit, and we’ll get the rest when we get there.”

“What?”

“Bleu, you thought I was fucking with you? Greene packing right now. Wheels up in twenty.”

Beans had texted me the jet was refueled and ready. Menace hated whenever I took the jet without telling him. Last time I stole that shit and went to Miami after getting into Jeffie’s laptop.

Big bro’ needed to realize that I was coming into my own, and a grown ass man. I was taking Navy away, because that was what she needed. I wanted to be everything she needed, and I planned to be.