Page 24

Kennedy

I should have told him no the minute he told me he wanted to take me somewhere.

Instead, I allowed him to bring me to Martha’s Vineyard for the weekend.

This was going against everything his brother wanted, and Don didn’t seem to give a fuck about what Menace wanted.

In his eyes, he was the little brother and got away with shit because of the blood they shared.

He didn’t take in account that I was the outsider.

This could go differently for me if Menace ever found out about us.

While he would be banished to a beautiful penthouse, I was back on the streets, trying to claw my way back to the top.

I didn’t want to go far with Don because I knew only one of us would end up hurt.

Landon would go on with his life and find another woman that could give him what he needed, while I was exiled and didn’t have anyone to turn to.

Things were best this way, and the sneaking around that we were doing would have to come to a stop, eventually.

It was the allure that I was forbidden for him.

He was used to getting any and everything he wanted.

The fact that his brother popped his hand and told him that something, or someone, was off limits made him want it that much more.

He wanted me because he couldn’t have me, and that added to whatever ego thing he had going on.

I didn’t want to be used like a challenge, a broken rule.

I was a person, and Landon was playing a dangerous game when it came to his brother.

I’ve heard some things that Menace had done, and the worst of it was to his own family. Imagine what he would do to someone who wasn’t family? A girl whose father thought he was protecting her, and she turned around and disobeyed the person who was supposed to protect her.

My mental wasn’t the best after what I had gone through.

I wasn’t stupid where I didn’t think Menace hadn’t spun the block and made them pay for what they did to me.

Whenever I saw him, he stared at me with his softened gaze.

As if he felt sorry for me and could still remember the video, I’m sure he had witnessed.

There was a pain in his face whenever Menace Caselli stared at me, and I hated that for me.

We had already gotten into an argument at lunch because I didn’t want to hold hands in public.

Don was a lover boy, a man that wanted to show off his woman and give her everything she desired.

He was intentional about the things that he did when he cared about you. Not everyone got that version of him.

The Caselli siblings were all the same. Not everyone got the soft and unhardened version of them.

I thought it was just Menace and Don, but it extended to their sisters, too.

Zoya was just as bad as her brother, never allowing someone in, or caring to.

Kora was slightly different, where she could let you in, but you had to prove it.

Affection was something that they went so long without that it was a foreign concept to them.

They never said they loved each other, and there was always distance between them.

As if they loved having their own lives away from the only family they had.

Don wanted affection and love, and that was because he never had it.

He wanted to feel what it felt like for someone to love him the way that he needed to be loved. Don wanted me to be that woman, or at least he was hoping for that to happen. I cared about him, and in a perfect world, we could have what he wanted.

Or I could be emotionally available to give him exactly what he needed. It was easy to have the profession I did because I didn’t have to feel. There wasn’t any emotions involved, just a transaction.

I gave them a dream, and they provided me with the funds for coming through for their fantasy.

There wasn’t long talks about feelings or emotions, and I wasn’t being taken away on romantic getaways out of town.

Whenever I was flown out by one of my clients, it was because I was there to provide a service.

Sit on their arms, stroke their egos, and fuck them until their balls were empty.

It wasn’t because I was in love and wanted to be there.

Money was the goal.

This was different because I wasn’t here because a client booked me.

There wasn’t any money involved. I was here because Landon had feelings for me and I had them for him.

The hardness around my heart refused to allow me to be real with those feelings.

Fear stopped me from wanting to show him or prove to him that I could eventually meet him where he needed me to be.

“Why are you being so quiet?” I came into the kitchen, where he was cutting up the vegetables we had picked up from the market after lunch.

“Not much to say.”

He had been quiet since I pulled my hand back from his while we shopped. Landon wanted to show me off and wanted people to know I was with him. I wasn’t used to that happening when it didn’t involve money.

I wasn’t used to being chosen when it came to men. Unless there was a transaction and I had become used to that. Feelings caused people to lose everything, and I didn’t need that in my life. Choosing and loving Landon could cause me to lose everything.

“I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard.”

“Off guard.” He chuckled.

I folded my arms. “What is so funny?”

“You up here at my fucking house with me for the weekend, and I caught you off guard? Shit sounds stupid. I get the whole Menace shit fucks with you, but damn, how the fuck would we even know if we’re compatible if you’re always pushing a nigga off from you?”

“You take me to your beautiful home in Martha’s Vineyard, and expect me to open my legs to fuck you? Typical shit.”

Don snorted as he tossed the onions in the pot. Whatever he was making smelled amazing and was quickly making it hard to concentrate. “You so used to fucking for money that you don’t know what intimacy is. Shit, I don’t, either, but I’m fucking trying and all I’m met with is resistance.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know I can fuck you despite that scowl on your face. Ken, I don’t want that…

I wanna know what your skin feels like against my skin.

How you smell before the sweat leaves your pores.

I want to get to know you because I know that niggas don’t ever do that with you.

I feel like it’s easier to get you to open up by booking you through Case House. ”

“Asshole.”

“Yeah, well, you seem to respond to that better. The nice guy does nothing to you… only the nigga that tosses money your way.”

“Not true.”

“Then what the fuck is all of this for? I went out my way to make this happen for you.”

“I didn’t ask for this… none of it.”

He nodded his head and then tossed the glass bowl across the room. I cowered, and he continued tossing everything that he was gonna make onto the floor. “Don’t ever gotta expect it, either.”

It was like he was trying to control himself, but the thoughts won in the end. That night, he left me there and had a car service pick me up the next morning. He did apologize and explain that he had a temper, and that he should have never reacted that way to my words.

Since then, it hadn’t been the same between us. Almost like he wanted to try but was scared to give me himself again.

I pulled up to the gates of Menace’s mansion and waited for security to do their clearance before they would allow me in.

The main security guard had me pull forward while the others checked under my car for whatever they thought I might be hiding.

Once everything was cleared, the gates opened, and he allowed me through.

Don called me a wench.

The part that hurt the most was that he meant every word that he said to me.

It was how he stared at me. No longer with that look that was reserved for only me.

He used to stare at me like he wanted to give me the stars and the moon.

The minute I exited from the elevator, I could see the hurt and disgust on his face.

The shit hurt my heart because I never wanted to hurt him.

Every time I was supposed to tell him, something always stopped me from being honest. I knew it would break his heart, and I didn’t want to do that to him.

When the news broke, everything inside of me told me not to call, and I went against it and called him.

Putting the brand-new Porsche that Alex bought me in park, I climbed out and walked toward the front door. The door opened and Duke stood there. Had I not known Duke, I would have been intimidated.

“Hey Duke.”

“What’s going on, Kennedy? You know boss man is having quiet hour, right?” He allowed me in, and I walked through the sanitizing mist.

Menace was a strange one, and every encounter with him never changed my mind. He was scary as well, but there was a softness about him. You only saw it with his wife, but the softness was somewhere.

“Think he will squeeze me in for a quick chat?”

Duke shook his head. “He’s been real strict about his time before the baby comes.”

“Right. A baby means no quiet hour.”

“Pretty much. Steve-o is in her studio if you wanna talk to her. Not sure if she can help,” he suggested.

“I drove all the way here, so I guess I can pick Stevie’s brain about this.”

He nodded. “You know the way.”

When we spent Thanksgiving together, she was so nice and funny.

I expected her to be some stuck-up bitch that felt like she was better than everyone.

Stevie was the complete opposite of that.

She was also the complete opposite of Menace, so I often wished I was a fly on the wall for their conversations.

The man was so protective of her that he made everyone turn before he kissed her.