Page 31

She tossed the napkin at me. “Don’t you even start with me. Meanwhile, you got a damn hickie on your neck that you not even trying to hide.”

I shrugged with a silly grin on my face. “Fuck I’m gonna hide it for? My Pooh put it there.”

Zoya held onto the table like it was an earthquake or some shit. “What do you mean a Pooh ?”

“Greene’s cousin.”

“Who is Greene’s cousin?”

“Doesn’t matter. We been chilling and getting to know each other.”

She became serious. “Chilling while you have a hickie on your neck?”

I was very much fucking serious when it came to Navy. That woman had me fucking sprung with the way she carried herself. There was a million hoes all trying to be each other, then there was Navy.

She had the influence, but she never let that shit get to her head.

Going on her socials, you saw thousands of people pouring their heart out in her comments and admiring how authentic she was.

Bleu never let none of that shit get to her head and still maneuvered regular.

Where she could have been catching Uber blacks and acting like she was too good for certain shit, you could catch her on the train or the bus heading to wherever she had to go.

I loved that she was so grounded, not moved by money or the social media fame.

It made me wonder how she and homie even stayed together because he was the opposite.

He ate up all the fame, and I understood.

He was doing something not every Black boy from the hood could do.

Antwan had been given a chance to do something for himself and his family, so I couldn’t even hate on his situation.

Not everyone was raised the way I was, and had the money I now possessed.

“Don you are literally blushing right before me.” She slapped my arms and got all excited like only Zoya would. “Tell me about her.”

“She’s an influencer.”

Zoya squinted her eyes. “Oh?”

“Not like that, Zoy… swear.”

“Hmm.”

“I put that on Roxie.” She settled in her seat, and believed me, after I put it on our dead cat.

It was crazy how none of us took shit seriously until we mentioned Roxie. It was me and Zoya’s thing, and how we both knew we were serious about a situation. “Well, she must be pretty interesting because you are easily bored.”

Sliding my phone across the table, she took my phone and scrolled through her socials. I could see her smile, as she continued to swipe through and then look at me. “She’s so beautiful… and laidback.”

“Told you.”

“Makes sense. Greene is also very laid back. I still don’t know how she’s able to remain that laid back personality working for Stevie and Menace.”

I chuckled. “Her family is like that too. They get that shit from how they were raised. All of them are close and that shit makes my chest warm.”

Zoya gave me a weak smile as she slid my phone back over toward me. “Yeah, gets lonely for us, huh?”

“I wish I could remember them, Zoy. Menace doesn’t talk about them, and Kora… she mentions some things, but it’s not enough.”

Zoya looked down at the menu, then back at me. “It’s not easy for them, Don. They were old enough to understand and hurt when they found out.”

“And you?”

“I remember… I remember those people coming into the house and packing our stuff up.” As she spoke, I could see her disassociate, as if she was reliving it right in front of me.

“They took mommy’s perfumes and put them into boxes and then worked on the closet.

Menace asked them what they were doing, and they said it was orders.

Think that was the last time I hugged Menace because they started packing my room up and I screamed and cried.

He held me, not knowing what to do, not having the control.

I think that’s why being in control is so important to him now. ”

Lunch had taken a turn as we both sat silent at the table. Even the waiter came and quickly left when he realized it wasn’t the time to take our order.

“I find myself humming “Let’s Wait A While” by Janet Jackson randomly.”

Zoya smiled at me, her eyes glossy. “Her favorite song. She used to play that song all the time. Even when she didn’t play it, she could be caught humming it.”

“Damn.”

“I’m sorry, Don.”

I looked at her. “Why?”

“Because you have bits and pieces of our parents. That’s all you have to hold onto, and it’s not fair. Not fair that we had to continue life without parents.”

“Yeah.”

“Got each other though, right? Zoy and Donnie forever,” she smiled, as she quickly swiped away a tear.

“Chill, you not about to be calling me Donnie again.”

As quick as the tears were there, she was back to herself. Stacking those bricks higher so that nobody could break down those walls she built. “I think Menace showed us that we can let love in. If there is someone to love him, there is someone to love you.”

“And you.”

She shrugged. “I’ve made peace that I’m not meant to be in love and have that forever, Don. Trust me.”

It was like she was trying to tell me something without saying it. I knew my sister and knew not to push her. If Zoya wanted me to know, she would tell me.

Right now, she didn’t want me to know so I was respecting that.