Page 9

9

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Alex

I spun around, grabbed Noé by the arm, and pinned him against the apartment door as it slammed shut. Greedily, I sought his mouth and devoured it with my lips. At the same time, my hands took on a life of their own. I stripped off his leather jacket and yanked his shirt over his head. Holding him tightly, I caressed my hands over his ribs, his back, his neck, and played with a piercing.

Noé was just as hungry and practically tore the clothes off my body. Swiftly, he unzipped my pants, slid a hand inside, and elicited a sigh from me. I pressed my bare chest against his and rubbed against him. As I kissed his neck and absorbed his warmth, I felt his sudden grip as he pushed me, making me feel the cool wall against my back. Surprised, I looked at him, but he smiled and enveloped me in a passionate kiss again.

Although we both obviously wanted it, this would probably turn into a silent struggle again. But in this regard, I couldn’t compromise. It was simply impossible. His attempt to gain the upper hand only fueled my desire even more, and I undid his belt. I slid my hands over his back and into his pants, grabbing onto his firm ass and biting his neck.

Noé gasped and buckled. I seized the moment and nudged him back with two steps, turned him to face the wall, and simultaneously pulled down his jeans and shorts.

“Wait,” he gasped. “I …”

I pressed myself against him from behind, so he could feel my hardness against his back. Watching him weaken, supporting himself with his forearms against the wall and tilting his head forward to breathe, only fueled my desire more. I wrapped my hands around him, played with his nipple, and slid the other one over his stomach. As I wrapped my hand around his penis and pumped his length, I elicited another moan from him. I kissed his neck, his shoulder, and grinded against him.

“You feel so good.”

As he glanced over his shoulder, I grabbed him by the neck and devoured him with my lips. He was so sexy, so hot. I could hardly control myself. My cock throbbed, longing for him. But I knew I could only win this fight by keeping the upper hand because as soon as I released my lips from him, I felt him trying to pull away from me again. So, I sank to my knees, spread his buttocks, and went on an exploration with my tongue.

“Fuck!” he cursed as I found his entrance and didn’t hesitate to rim him.

His resistance faded as he leaned slightly forward and stood more open-legged at my command. I worked him with my tongue, eliciting a whimper from him. Then I added a finger and prepared him. He kept pressing himself against me eagerly as if he couldn’t wait to feel my cock inside him. But I hesitated because I wasn’t equipped here in the hallway.

“Backpack, outside pocket,” he said tersely.

I found what I needed, put on a condom, and applied some lube.

“Are you ready?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Do you want it?”

“Just do it!”

I didn’t need to be told twice. I positioned the tip at his entrance and pressed into him. Noé melted, and I felt his knees weaken as he groaned loudly. I grabbed onto his hips with both hands and penetrated him further.

“Shit,” he cursed and pushed with all his strength against the wall.

“Is it good?”

“Yeah.”

I thrust myself into him all the way and gave Noé a moment to adjust. He breathed heavily, and as he turned his head to the side, I saw pain and pleasure mixing in his face. Slowly, I moved one hand forward and grasped his length again. Noé gasped.

“So tight,” I whispered and jerked him off.

Again, he whimpered and stretched his neck.

“And so hot,” I breathed into his ear.

I began to move, pulling out of him and pushing back in. Again and again. Getting faster, more turbulent. Harder. The slapping of wet skin put me into a trance, and I couldn’t stop ramming into him. Until I hit his prostate.

“Oh fuck!” he screamed, throwing his head back and bracing himself with his hands against the wall.

I grabbed him by the neck and increased the pace. With each thrust, I plunged even deeper into him. His moaning grew louder, then abruptly ceased.

“Shit, I’m about to come!”

My hands gripped even tighter around his neck, and I took him even harder. “Come for me!” I growled.

And then it was already happening.

“Oh God, yes,” he moaned and shuddered all over.

It nearly drove me insane. One last time, I thrust into him and came inside him. Panting, I almost collapsed on top of him, resting my forehead on his shoulder and breathing shakily. His body was also breathing heavily as he still supported himself with both hands against the wall. I kissed his back and eventually pulled out of him.

“I ... messed up your wall,” Noé said softly. Only when I laughed did he turn to face me, licked his lips, and brushed loose strands of hair from his face. “I’m sorry.”

He seemed somehow different, embarrassed, as if he were ashamed. Or was it because he had lost the battle? He didn’t even look me in the eye. I grabbed his chin, pulled his face toward mine, and kissed him. “It doesn’t matter,” I whispered and kissed him again. “It doesn’t matter at all.”

Damn! I couldn’t get enough of him. He was so hot! As he leaned against the wall again, he buried his fingers in my hair and drew me so close to him that I felt his heartbeat against my chest. My knees went weak.

“I should go,” he said, pulling up his pants.

“What? No. Where do you want to go?”

He paused for a moment, then shook his head.

“Stay. You can sleep here.” As if I had spoken a different language, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “I heard you had a long day. You probably want to shower.”

He nodded hesitantly but didn’t move from the spot. I let go of him and motioned for him to follow me. Of course, he knew the way to my bedroom; it hadn’t even been a week since he was last here. On the way there, I threw the condom in the trash. In the room, I handed Noé a new towel and left him alone again. Luzia cleaned a lot, but I didn’t want to burden her with wiping sperm off the wall.

I took a quick shower myself. When I came into the bedroom naked, with just a towel around my hips, Noé was leaning against the wall on the bed in boxers and a long-sleeved shirt, typing something on his phone. I snatched a fresh pair of boxer briefs from the closet, put on a shirt, and crawled next to him.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Nothing much,” he replied softly, exiting the app before I could see anything.

“I’m not spying on you, you know,” I teased, relieved when he laughed.

“You say that so lightly. But I know what kind of person you are,” I replied with a smile.

“What kind of person,” I repeated, feigning offense. “What kind of person am I?”

“It hasn’t been a week since you stared at my phone.” His smile was truly mesmerizing. “A really daring move to start a conversation with me.”

“What choice did I have?”

“The architects?”

I grimaced and shook my head. “They’re too slick for me. I’m not going to them and asking them to introduce me to you. Patrick, the guitarist of the Lighteners, although the office where he works gives me assignments, I still feel like he has something against me.”

“Against you?” Noé asked, surprised. “I can’t imagine that. You two seemed totally collegial last week.”

“Yes, he has his bright moments sometimes. But most of the time, he behaves rather arrogantly.”

“Hmm ... I have to admit, that’s intriguing,” Noé tapped his chin, pondering. “And what about Claude, the bartender?”

“Yeah, I could have asked him,” I admitted involuntarily. “But after being informed about your reputation, I’m glad I didn’t.”

“My reputation,” Noé said with a hint of mischief in his voice. “Yeah, I probably won’t get rid of that anytime soon.”

“Is it true? I mean ... what Marco hinted at when he asked where we met.”

Noé lifted his head toward the ceiling. “Probably.”

Before the conversation threatened to veer in the wrong direction and the mood shifted, I lay on my back and also looked up. “I’m glad I looked at your phone,” I admitted. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be sitting next to me now, would you?” When I sought his gaze again and found a smile on his face, a weight lifted off my heart.

“You’ve taken great photos,” he said with a casualness that surprised me. “How long have you been doing this?”

The question stirred up unpleasant memories in me, and as if I wanted to shake them off, I sat up and leaned back against the wall. “For a long time. Maybe ... fifteen years?”

Noé widened his eyes in surprise. “Fifteen years? How old are you then?”

“Turning twenty-six soon,” I said casually. “I started with photography when I was thirteen or fourteen ... well, not quite fifteen years yet.”

“Twenty-six?” he asked, his voice filled with disbelief.

“Yeah, what did you think?”

“Younger,” he admitted sheepishly. “Maybe as old as me?”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-three ... in two months.”

“Are you a Christmas baby?”

“No, exactly in two months.”

“I’ll be twenty-seven in January.”

“Shit! I thought you were younger. But ...”

I laughed, surprising myself. Everyone always thought I was younger, and it could be annoying sometimes because it meant I wasn’t always taken seriously at work. It was also the reason I wore glasses during the day instead of contact lenses. “What do you mean ’but’?”

“Oh, nothing,” he said, shaking his head and interlacing his hands behind his head. “And? Are you going to stick with photography? Is that what you’ve always wanted to do?”

“Yeah, I think so. By now, I’ve built up a good client base and can make a decent living from it. It’s sometimes a bit much and stressful, but as long as I can still do my own projects on the side, it’s all good.”

“Your photo book?”

“Yeah, and the exhibition. That’s going to be great.”

“That’s nice. I’m happy for you.”

Despite the kind words, his gaze unsettled me. He looked at me as if he knew something I didn’t, and it fueled the doubts within me. I forced out a thank you and rubbed the back of my neck.

“You’re passionate about it,” he continued. “I can see it in your eyes. There’s a spark there whenever you talk about this project. That’s good.”

I stared at him, taken aback. He was right. The photo book and the exhibition were what drove me every day. If that were taken away from me, I probably wouldn’t have a reason to get up in the morning.

“Is it the same for you with music?” I asked.

“Mhmmm,” he replied. There was a fire in his eyes, so full of passion that I didn’t need any more words to understand him.

“What do you wish for in the future?” I asked.

“That I can eventually make a living from music. Although ... I kind of do already.” Noé shrugged as if that were his final answer because he couldn’t think of anything else to add.

“Maybe a house?” I suggested, prompting him. “Or a family? I don’t know. A place you can always come back to.”

“I don’t need much. Just my own room. One that’s clean and...” He stopped mid-sentence and gazed thoughtfully at the ceiling. He then shook himself. “Well, forget it.”

“I can provide that.”

“With what?”

“I have a spare room,” I said, winking.

What are you doing, Alex?

“Where? In the basement?”

“No, the door next to the entrance. Didn’t you see it?”

“I thought that was a bathroom.”

“It’s in the room. There’s also a shower.”

What am I doing? That was probably one of those moments where I blabbered on without thinking first. Oh well, that was an indirect offer, and he would understand that it was just said casually. I didn’t really want him to move in here.

He narrowed his eyes and peered at me suspiciously for a moment. “And what do you wish for?”

“I don’t know,” I replied with a shrug. Secretly, I wished I could shed my past, tear all those memories out of my head, and not constantly feel like I was naked. “Maybe... I wish for... Trust. Security. Love. Respect.”

“Big words for someone who seems to have everything,” he said, sweeping his arm dramatically, encompassing my entire apartment. But there was no mockery or any condescending tone in his voice, so I forced a smile.

“Don’t you wish for those things?” I asked.

“Well... Respect can be earned. Security too. Trust and love ... I don’t know,” he waved it off, a reserved smile on his face.

“You act as if these things don’t exist,” I said, laughing.

“They do. Probably ... But not in my world.”

For a brief moment, he became serious. But he put on his charming smile again, making it impossible for me to see behind his mask. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he wore it constantly.

But why?

Self-protection?

Is there anyone who truly knows him?

Immediately, I dismissed that thought.

Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not much better when it comes to pretending to be someone you’re not.

Noé shifted lower until his head was on the pillow. He turned onto his side, staring at me with tired eyes—he didn’t need words to let me know he had talked enough.

“Are you recording songs again tomorrow?” I asked, turning to him. He nodded, appearing so vulnerable. I scooted a bit closer and brushed some strands of hair from his face. “I have to get up early tomorrow. But make yourself at home here. Eat if you’re hungry. The fridge is full. Luzia went shopping yesterday.”

“What if I leave? Shouldn’t I lock up?”

“If the door closes, you won’t get back in. So, it would be better not to forget anything important.”

“Thanks for letting me sleep here,” he mumbled into the pillow, tilting his head so his forehead touched my neck.

I swallowed and couldn’t believe he was here. Here, with me, in my bed, so close. He was already asleep when I dragged the blanket over us and moved closer to him again. That’s when he slid his hand onto my back and snuggled up to me.

Security , I thought. Maybe he wishes for security.