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8

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Noé

“Relax,” Marco said through the headphones. “No need to be nervous. You know the songs and you’re miles better than Manuel.”

Although I was warmed up and my vocal cords were ready, standing in a soundproof booth about to record my first song still made me nervous. I could hear my irregular breath and clenched my sweaty hands into fists.

It had only been a week since the first rehearsal, and Alex had come to take photos just the day before yesterday. Everything was happening so fast. Almost a bit too fast. But I would ignore my distrust and irritation because this—all of this—was what I wanted. My chance at a life that I had worked so hard for.

So, stay cool.

When Marco mentioned we would record the vocals, I didn’t think he would bring the studio into our rehearsal space. Yet, there I was, in a booth covered with foam. I adjusted my headphones and waited for Marco’s instructions. Through a small window, I saw him sitting on a chair in front of the stage, using it like a desk and adjusting some knobs on the mixing board. He kept switching to the laptop to do who knows what. Eventually, he looked over at me, grinned broadly, and gave me a thumbs-up.

“Are you ready?” he asked through the headphones.

I nodded. You got this , I told myself, trying to calm my pulse. Just sing the song .

As the music started, I waited for my cue but couldn't get past the first verse.

“Sorry,” I said immediately.

“No problem!”

“Can you lower the drums a bit and turn up the vocals?”

“Sure thing. Already done. Let’s try it again.”

This time, the mix was more comfortable, and I made it through the song to the end.

“That was good. And now let’s do it again. We’ll take it step by step. This is sounding really good.”

Marco’s enthusiasm gave me reassurance because I couldn’t gauge at all whether what I had just delivered was any good. But Marco was an honest guy, and he wouldn’t have held back criticism if I had been crap.

After a while, I understood how this entire process worked, and I felt more comfortable in the sound booth. I even started to enjoy it, and soon, the mistakes I made were causing laughter both inside and outside the booth.

I was unaware of the time passing until I heard Marco greet Chris on the headphones. Shortly after, Chris appeared at the small glass window with a wide grin and waved.

“Let’s take a break,” Marco said, gesturing for me to step out.

I took off the headphones and exited the booth. After a quick stretch, I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Chris said, taking off his cap and running his hand through his light brown hair. “Damn, it’s gotten cold. And it’s only October. I am so not ready for winter. So, how’s it going?”

“Fantastic,” Marco replied monotonously, still highly focused on typing something on his laptop.

Chris held up a plastic bag. “I brought some food. You guys must be hungry.”

I sat down on the couch and grabbed a sandwich. “Thanks.” I had felt the pangs of hunger in my stomach and couldn’t wait to eat. Singing made me hungry.

“The first song is in the bag,” Marco said, still behind the computer.

“I may have found a bassist who could fill in for you with the Lighteners when we’re on tour,” Chris said.

“Oh yeah, that sounds good. I told the guys during rehearsal yesterday. Tom is already getting nervous about it.”

“Can’t blame him.” Chris laughed and sat down in the chair. “It all happened so damn fast.”

“Don’t you have to work?”

“Yeah, but I worked through lunch and left early. It’s already half past two.”

I glanced at my phone and was surprised how quickly time had passed. Plus, I had a few messages. One was from Steffan.

“What about tonight? Is it on?”

“It should be c…” I started to type a response when Chris spoke up.

“You’re meeting Robert tonight,” he said and opened a can of soda. “He heard the rehearsal room recordings and he’s impressed. We’re meeting him, Lukas, and Ramon at Gallo. He’s treating us to dinner. There might be some things you might want or need to know. And he’s bringing the contract.”

I deleted my response to Steffan’s text and nodded. Eating with the guys sounded good. Eating always sounded good. Although Steffan's bed wasn’t to be despised either. But the music took priority—always.

“Could be late. Is it okay to go spontaneously?” I wrote back and put the phone away. Then I finally bit into the salmon sandwich.

Marco joined us and also grabbed one. “The kid’s a pro,” he said to Chris. “All those years with Manu ... what a waste.”

“You’re mean.” Chris couldn’t help but smirk.

I was relieved I made a somewhat professional and composed impression, but I hadn’t fully grasped the situation yet. The fact that a European tour was coming up in a few months hadn’t even registered in my mind. And tonight, I was supposed to sign a contract that could change my life. I had reached a point where I could no longer afford to make any mistakes.

Eventually, we got back to work and recorded the second song. Chris became nervous and mentioned for the umpteenth time that it was getting late. But it was Marco who ultimately decided when enough was enough.

“Okay, I think we’re good for today. We don’t want to strain your voice too much. Rest up until tomorrow. If we record two to three songs per day, we’ll finish by next week. Then I can send it straight to Ralph for mixing,” Marco said.

“Will he be able to do it by the album release?” I asked as I slipped into my denim jacket and then into my leather jacket.

“Yeah, no problem,” Marco said confidently, closing his laptop and sliding it into his backpack. “Ralph just needs to mix in the new vocal track. And Xavier will master it within a week as well—depending on how busy he is. But he knows it’s urgent. So, we don’t need to worry. Our deadline is the weekend before the warm-up concert because we still have the songs from the first album that you need to learn.”

“I already know those,” I replied.

“Yeah, good, but at least one rehearsal should still be in there.”

“Finally!” Chris exclaimed impatiently. “Let’s go eat. We’re already late.”

***

Robert went through every single point of the contract with me, explaining everything I needed to know about the tour. That’s how I found out that the opening acts essentially bought in, covering most of the costs. The label covered the rest and paid us our contractual share. When I learned how much we would get paid, I almost choked on my water.

“You’ll be on the road until the end of May.”

“And hopefully in June, we’ll already be recording new songs!” Marco proclaimed from the other side of the table.

“Coffee?” the waitress asked me.

I glanced over my shoulder and smiled at her. She was cute. Somehow, I felt like I’d met her before. Her face turned slightly red, and she tensed up a bit as she held the pen, waiting for my answer.

We must have met before.

“No, thank you,” I said with a charming grin.

Robert ordered a cappuccino, and Chris ordered an espresso, while I poured myself some more water.

“Do you guys have any new material?” I asked.

“We have a few songs, but they’re not quite polished yet,” Marco replied. “We still have some time, though. If you have anything, you can bring it anytime.”

“What about the song rights?” I asked Robert.

“For new songs, it’s up for negotiation.”

“Nonsense!” Lukas exclaimed, grinning at me. “Don’t listen to him. The song rights belong to us.”

Robert smiled mischievously. “It’s worth a try.”

When we entered the restaurant, Robert was already sitting with Ramon and Lukas at the table. He was around fifty and looked a bit like Kevin Spacey in his dark blue plaid shirt, with a slightly roguish face and a very friendly smile. I still didn’t fully trust him, but he seemed okay. Plus, he was some sort of uncle to Lukas, which didn’t mean much, but somehow meant something. So, I eventually took the pen and signed the contract.

I had nothing to lose. There was nothing to gain from someone who had nothing.

The guys cheered and applauded, knocking on the table. When the waitress brought out the coffee, Robert said, “Let’s toast to that. Do you want a beer? Or a glass of wine?”

“No, thank you,” I replied, placing the pen back on the table.

“What do your parents think about you becoming a rockstar? Your mother must be proud of you,” Robert asked.

My facial expression slipped away. I wasn’t prepared for his remark about my mother. It seemed like everyone at the table could sense my discomfort at that moment.

“Are your parents still alive? Or did I hit a sore spot here?” Robert asked tentatively.

“His father is Canadian,” Marco interjected casually.

“I see. And your mother?”

I swallowed the shock, collected myself, and took a deep breath. “That’s private,” I said, looking slightly annoyed at Marco.

He just shrugged.

“It’s good that you set a boundary,” Robert said in an approving tone as if the question had been a test. “But maybe you should prepare some answers because you’ll be giving interviews sooner or later. Be better prepared for such questions.”

I nodded and stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

In the bathroom, I locked myself in the stall and took deep breaths. In and out. I clenched my hand into a fist and stared at my knuckles. The wound I had inflicted on myself by hitting the wall was now healed, and the bruising didn’t hurt anymore. But I felt this pulling sensation inside me. I desperately needed something to relieve it. The craving for alcohol overshadowed everything else, and it took a lot for me not to order a beer. I knew that giving in would be the beginning of the end.

The contract was signed now. Steffan was probably already waiting for me. But it wasn’t even half past eight yet. Definitely too early to leave from here.

I washed my hands, ran my fingers over my face and through my hair, and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

You can do this. No alcohol, and you’re doing the right thing .

Despite the mantra, I nervously returned to the table. Chris was on the phone, while Ramon and Robert were toasting with another glass of wine. I sat back down at my place and drank from my water. Chris sat across from me, beaming at me like a firefly.

“Oh, you’ve already sorted them out? That’s cool! Shall we meet on Saturday? ... Ah, okay, yeah, then ... We’re at Gallo. ... Yes, the whole band. Come on over. ... Okay, cool, see you later!” Chris hung up the phone. “Alex is coming by later. He’s already sorted out the photos.”

“Oh, cool!” Ramon exclaimed as he continued typing on his phone. “I could use some photos.”

I frowned questioningly, and Marco must’ve sensed my confusion.

“Ramon is in charge of social media,” he explained.

“Not unimportant,” Ramon said from the other side of the table, prompting Marco to pat him on the shoulder

While the two argued and Lukas talked with Robert, I glanced over at Chris. He sat there in a state of contentment. He was like every other drummer I had met; calm and balanced.

“Where do you know Alex from?” I asked.

“Our mothers know each other. I was in high school when Alex and his mother moved to Zurich. They often came to our house. That’s how I met Alex. But ... he was ... I don’t know... Something was off about him. Nowadays, he seems to have gotten it together.”

“Got it together?”

“Yeah, he always seemed kind of scared and disturbed to me. My mother still hasn’t told me exactly what happened. Something preceded their move to Zurich. It was like they wanted to start anew here, but I don’t know more than that.”

“Alex always seems to me like he has a stick up his ass,” Lukas chimed in.

“He was going through a rough time for a while. So leave him alone, okay?” It surprised me how Chris defended Alex.

“When my sister found out he’s a photographer, she tried to flirt with him,” Marco recounted amusedly. “But Alex coldly turned her down. And then I had to listen to her whining about how all the good men are gay, and nonsense like that.”

“I’m not gay,” Ramon said theatrically, running his hand through his brown hair, prompting laughter from everyone.

“Thankfully, our frontman is into both. It would be bad for the image if he ignored the ladies in front of the stage.”

I just smirked and sipped my water. I still didn’t know if my silence was doing Alex or myself any favors. Of course, nobody needed to know that we had something together, but as much as I tried to dismiss it, he kept creeping into my thoughts. His quirkiness fascinated me, which was more attractive than I cared to admit.

Before I realized it, Alex was standing at our table. Of course. He lives just around the corner .

“Hey, guys!”

“Hey!” the group behind me called out, while I just stared at him.

He stood at the top end of the table, between Chris and me, and tried not to stare at me longer than anyone else, which he failed at.

“Here!” Chris said, jumping up and pulling a free chair from the neighboring table. “Sit down and show us!”

“Yeah! Show us!” Marco chimed in.

Alex pulled an iPad out of his bag just as the waitress arrived. He ordered a beer and set the bag next to the chair. Then he opened the app and seemed unsure where to put the iPad.

“Give it here!” Ramon called from the other side. Marco grabbed it and passed it along.

“I’ve already sorted and edited the photos,” Alex said, accepting the beer with a grateful nod. He still seemed a little bewildered and mustered a faint smile as Chris introduced him to Robert. “Nice to meet you,” he said politely and took a big sip.

I watched him the whole time. When he unexpectedly showed up with his cameras in the rehearsal room the day before yesterday, I didn’t know at first how to feel about it. But I was completely aware of the coincidence. Ultimately, it had been fun to play with the camera—or rather, with Alex. He initially reacted somewhat baffled to my advances, which Marco commented on with a raised glass.

“The born front man!” he exclaimed, toasting me with his beer.

I laughed at that comment and looked at Alex, who had furrowed his brows and also grinned.

“Now show us!” Chris exclaimed, finally managing to get hold of the iPad. He placed it in the middle of the table so Robert and I could see as well and then swiped through the photos.

“They’re really good,” I said, genuinely surprised. While I had played with the camera, I hadn’t the faintest idea what would come out of it.

“What about the analog ones?” Chris asked as he reviewed the photos.

“They still need to be developed. I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

I noticed the strand of hair falling into Alex’s face and couldn’t help but be reminded of the sight of him above me, his gaze filled with desire. He still reminded me a bit of Clark Kent, probably because of his glasses, but he also seemed so familiar to me. And then I remembered the car ride when we sat together in the back seat and I still couldn’t explain how my hand ended up on his thigh. Just the memory of it made me flinch slightly. I tore my gaze away from him, cleared my throat, and sat up straight.

He had been the reason I had agreed to Michelle’s invitation the day before yesterday. If I had gone to the Olé-Olé-Bar with them, I might have hit on Alex. But now he sat here, right next to me, and I couldn’t deny the effect he had on me any longer.

He was talking to Ramon across the table, who wanted to download the pictures onto his phone right away. Robert was also eager to get a few to link on a website and fill the promo folder. Alex said he would upload them to Dropbox and send them the link. Everyone was satisfied with that.

My good mood returned, and I overcame the brief nosedive Robert caused with his question. We sat together for a while longer, laughing and enjoying the evening until Robert finally paid the bill and said his goodbyes. At ten o’clock, we were standing outside, bidding each other farewell.

“See you tomorrow at nine?” Marco wanted to confirm since he had taken the day off for the recordings.

“I’ll be there,” I said, nodding goodbye to him.

“Need a ride?” Chris asked.

“No, thanks.”

He disappeared with Ramon to his car, and Lukas ran off when he saw the bus coming. I pulled up the collar of my leather jacket and shoved my hands in my pockets. Only Alex and I were left.

“Do you have anything else planned?” he asked shyly.

Steffan . But I just looked at Alex and tried not to shiver from the cold. He licked his lips and pressed them together. Then he shifted from one foot to the other. He never took his eyes off me for a second. I still didn’t say anything; I couldn’t. As the moment stretched on, the tension between us mounted.

“Is this your strategy?” he asked, slightly unsure. “To remain silent until it’s almost unbearable.”

It really wasn’t, but there was something about the man that somehow left me speechless. I shook my head and forced a smile. Without warning, he stepped closer and grabbed me by the shoulders. He pressed me against the wall and kissed me.

Damn! Where did that come from all of a sudden? But I liked it—and so did my cock. Shit, man! A lot!

Alex clung to my leather jacket as if fearing I might run away, but I was exactly where I wanted to be. Not even the cold could affect me anymore. Alex stood so close that our legs touched, and his whole body felt like a heater.

“Come with me,” he whispered so close to my face that I felt his warm breath on my skin.

Screw Steffan .

I just nodded because I wanted him.