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“You’re a woman and I know that’s the best I’m going to get. Come on, I’ll drive you home.”
“I just got here.” I turn in his lap, and my legs frame his. Our faces are even, and I love looking into his eyes. I read their emotions in the greenish brown flecked with gold. Annoyance, happiness, love. You can tell how someone is feeling by the look in their eyes. I like the gold sparks in Gage’s. They’re warm, like he is. Not his body temperature, but kind. He never told me he loved me last night, but I can feel it in his touch, and that means more than any words he could say.
“Yeah, and I bet you didn’t tell anyone where you were going, either. Douglas texted Zane, I’m sure, but you and your brother need to start communicating. Even if the conversations are hard. We’re going to have hard ones, too. About sex, love, and relationships. You can hate Black for putting you in that position, but adults talk to each other, even if they haven’t been sexually assaulted and locked up.”
I rub my thumb over his bottom lip. “You’re right.” I pause, debating if I should say it. It’s probably too soon, and if he’s not ready, I could destroy what friendship we have. But I have to tell him or one day I’ll blurt it out in an odd moment, and I’ll be less prepared if he turns me down. “I love you, Gage.”
I’m on my back in the time it takes me to blink, Gage’s arm under me, his other hand pulling my leg up over his butt. His cock is pressed between my legs, but his body is light, not crushing me. He’s smiling, our faces inches apart.
I pray for my heart to slow down. He’s not going to hurt me.
He touches his lips to mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck.
“I love you, too. Breathe.”
I must be white as a sheet, but he nuzzles my mouth with his, and we make out a little after all.
On the drive to the house, I sit next to him, seatbelts be damned. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I snuggle into his side. He insisted on driving me home, but after he told me he loved me, I don’t mind not sleeping over.
Baby’s sitting in the extended cab, and every once in a while she’ll poke her cold nose into my ear. Gage laughs and says she’s trying to flirt. When she does, I turn around and kiss her, earning me a big lick in the face.
Gage slows the truck and rolls to a stop in front of the house. Zane’s standing on the porch, and I’m out of the truck and in his arms before Gage can turn the engine off and pull my suitcase out of the back. He follows at a slower pace and sets the suitcase on the porch next to my feet.
My brother hides his face in the crook of my neck murmuring apologies I can’t quite understand.
Stella opens the front door and says, “Stay for dinner. It’s no trouble.”
Gage clears his throat. “I’d like that, thanks.”
Finally, Zane releases me. “Thank you,” he mumbles to Gage.
“I never want to cause trouble, Maddox.”
“Make it Zane. Yeah, I guess I do enough of that for everybody, huh?” He grins sheepishly, and I relax. Maybe things will change if I’m brave enough to speak what’s on my mind.
Gage joins us for dinner, and we have a pleasant evening gossiping and listening to each other’s stories.
Whenever Gage and I are together, I feel included in his life. I’m grateful for that because God, I haven’t felt like I belonganywhere, for a long time, and I hope the more time he spends with me, the more he feels like he’s an important part of my life, too.
Gage touches my knee and my eyelids flutter open. “I should get going.”
After dinner, we sat in the living room drinking coffee. At some point, Stella had decorated a large Christmas tree, and it sparkles in the corner. There are even presents stacked under it, but I haven’t done any shopping. The room feels cozy, full of love and family, and my heart plummets when he says he has to leave. I don’t want him to go, but asking him to stay would be inappropriate. Zane and I have a lot of talking to do, and while he was grateful Gage brought me home instead of hiding me, I’m sure he still thinks it’s a good idea that I date other people. I need to convince him otherwise, that’s all.
We stand and I say, “I’ll walk you to the door.”
Zane holds out his hand, and Gage grasps it firmly. Stella gives him a dazzling smile. It helps to know she’s completely on my side. I don’t know if I could butt heads with my brother if I didn’t have her support.
They go upstairs murmuring, “Goodbye, drive carefully,” leaving us alone in the glow of twinkle lights and the aroma of cooling coffee.
“Will you be all right if I head home?” he asks, brushing his thumb over my cheek.
“Yeah. Running away wasn’t the answer.”
“I’m glad you see that. Hey,” he says as we walk into the foyer, “in a couple of weeks theChronicle’s holding a dinnerand presenting Max an award. They want me to accept it on his behalf. Will you go with me?”
I haven’t attended an event like that since Ash locked me up, since he sold me. I’ve gone to dinner in a restaurant, gone to that gallery showing, but somehow this feels different. Important. People will stare at me, trying to decide if I’m crazy. That clip of my breakdown at the Lyndhurst has millions of views. Everyone has seen my reaction to the man who kidnapped my best friend, the woman I would come to love as a sister. They all watched an EMT sedate me, secure me to a gurney, and wheel me away.
I never saw freedom after that night, not until Stella broke into my room and Zane brought me home.