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It sounds appealing, a half-hour drive across the city instead of hauling her cute little butt home, but I say, “I can’t. I need to get back and let Baby out. Maybe if I would’ve had some warning, I could have asked Pop to swing by, but he’s probably in bed. It’s too late to call and ask.”
I don’t want her to feel bad, but it’s true. It’s almost midnight, and I’m not going to ask Pop to run over to my place so Baby can pee.
“Oh. I didn’t think of that.”
“I can drop you there, if you want?”
She looks out the window at the parking lot. There’s only one other movie still playing, and there are barely any cars in the lot. “I can’t be there alone.”
“Okay. I’ll bring you home. I knew it’d be a long evening when I asked you out, and if I had minded, I wouldn’t have asked.”
She turns to me, tears brimming in her eyes. “It’s not that. I...I don’t know how to explain. I don’t want to go home yet.”
I smile. “That’s clear enough, and I was thinking the same thing. I don’t want the night to end, either. We can go back to my place.”
Her face crumples. “I can’t sleep with you. I want to see your apartment, but I can’t have sex.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“Gage, I’m trying so hard.” She scoots over to my side of the bench and buries her face in my shoulder.
I kiss the top of her head and rub her back. “Zarah, I understand, baby girl. I really do. You’re not ready, and all you have to do is say so. Maybe, if you ever want to, you can tell me that, too. But for now, why don’t we not think about it, okay? I’ll sleep on the couch, and you can have my bed. There won’t be any sex. I promise. And if you’re uncomfortable, tell me, and I’ll bring you home.”
I have a feeling if that happened, we’d never see each other again. She’s a skittish bunny, and if she’s scared of something, she’ll run and not give it a second chance.
She leans away. “Can I kiss you?”
I should tell her no. She’s like a child, pushing her boundaries, and she might do something she’s not prepared for, even if she wants it, but we’ve already kissed and I don’t see the harm in it.
“Sure. I’d like that.”
Zarah presses her lips to mine, and they’re a little salty from her tears. I let her have all the control, and she moves her lips over mine, nestling into me, but all I do is curl my fingers around the nape of her neck and let her take what she wants.
She breaks the kiss. “You didn’t kiss me back.”
“You said you wanted to kiss me, and that’s what you did. Two seconds ago we were talking about sex, and I will repeat it until I’m hoarse that I don’t want you scared of me. You can’t have it both ways.” My voice comes out just a little gruffer than I intended, but I’m hard as a rock and I won’t have a way to ease the pressure until she falls asleep and I can help myself in private.
Zarah moves to her side of the bench and buckles her seatbelt. “Other women can.”
“You aren’t like other women.”
“That’s bad.”
I shift into gear and pull out of the parking lot. My apartment isn’t too far from here, but if I catch all the red lights, it will be twenty minutes or so before we reach the industrial park.
“If I wanted a woman like all the others, I would have one.”
“Like the woman who works at the café.”
“Like Sierra, yes. But I want to be with you. Doesn’t that mean something?”
“No.”
“Then maybe you should go home after all. We can end it here, tonight. No harm done. Say we tried, there’s a reason for everything, blah blah blah.”
“Is that what you want?” She’s staring straight out the windshield.
“Is that whatyouwant?”