Page 105
Story: Shattered Fate
Gage leans back and frowns. “Zane told me you’re seeing Jerricka Solis. Why is she prescribing you medication? I thought your meds were monitored by your doctor?”
“Yeah, I am, and they are, but Dr. Reagan consults her, too. Trust me, he has the last say and signs off on everything. Do you know her?”
He pauses. “I’ve heard of her.” He slides off the bed and says, “I’ll bring you a washcloth.”
“Thanks.” I press my cheek into the soft flannel pillowcase and wait, my muscles loose from my orgasm and fatigue. It’s been a long day.
Gage steps into the bedroom holding a damp washcloth, and he sits on the bed. Gently, he cleans the semen off my hands and belly. After he’s finished, he rinses it with warm water, tenderly spreads my legs, and wipes the insides of my thighs. The kind gesture brings tears to my eyes. “You didn’t want to make love.”
“Zarah. I don’t want you to rush, and what we did tonight was more than what I had planned. We have plenty of time. When you’re ready, making love will feel natural, and you’ll give yourself to me without doubts. Tonight was perfect, and I’m looking forward to sleeping next to you all night.”
My throat burns. I may never again find a man as understanding as Gage. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. No matter what you think, no matter what it looks like, everything I do is because I want to keep you safe and happy. No other reason.”
My skin is still damp, but I sit up and wrap my arms around him. “I’m sorry about Max.”
He sighs and rubs my back. “I am too, but I think he’d like this. I think he’d approve.”
Max’s father doesn’t, but I don’t say anything.
Gage kisses my forehead and steps into the hall and into the bathroom.
In my bag, I dig out fresh panties, my nightgown, and a robe. “Can I feed Baby?”
“Yeah. There’s food in the pantry next to the fridge. I need a minute. Do you want the bathroom first?”
“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”
I dress and carry the prescription bottle into the kitchen. The pills rattle inside, sending apprehension zipping over my skin. I hate the sound. In the pantry, I find a large plastic container of kibble, and interested, Baby looks up. A small shovel is wedged into the dog food, and I pull it out and pour a scoop into her bowl. She pads over and starts eating, and I rinse her dish and give her fresh water, too. While she’s crunching, I take my medication and the cool tap water tastes delicious. I didn’t realize I was so thirsty.
Gage hasn’t come out of the bathroom yet, and I sit on the floor and keep Baby company while she eats. I could go back to the bedroom, but I like Gage’s dog. Animals are so easy. Either they like you or they don’t.
Baby slops water all over the floor when she drinks, and I laugh. Can my life be this simple? Live with the man I love, feed the dog. That sounds basic, uncomplicated, but I’ll need more. Stella needed more, and maybe she found it taking classes.
Petting Baby, I consider Jerricka’s ideas. I could volunteer at one of Mom’s charities. I could fundraise for the no-kill shelter. She was so proud of the work she did for the animals.
Gage lets Baby outside one last time, and I brush my teeth and crawl into bed.
I’m not waiting long before he slams inside. “It’s still snowing,” he says, tugging off the sweatpants he wore to go out. He slips between the sheets and curls his cold body around mine. I gasp, laughing, and he presses a chilly kiss to my jaw. Wearing boxers and a t-shirt, he wraps his arms around me. “I could get used to this.”
“You won’t let me live here.” It still stings he sent me home, that he wasn’t open to even the idea of me moving into his apartment.
“I would love it, but when you’re ready to do that, we could pick out a place together.”
“I like it here.” I do. I like how cozy it is. It doesn’t matter to me that Zane and Stella’s master suite is bigger than his entire apartment.
“You don’t belong here.”
His words crush me, and I turn in his arms. “Then I don’t belong anywhere.”
“You’re better than this dumpy little box. One day you’ll find your place.”
I kiss him, his beard scratching my skin. “I thought I had. Here.”
“Zarah,” he groans my name and hugs me to him, his chest solid and comforting.
“I love you, Gage. Don’t tell me this isn’t where I belong. It’s here, or the penthouse, or the country house. A different apartment, or a house in the suburbs, it doesn’t matter as long as your arms are around me, like this.”
“Yeah, I am, and they are, but Dr. Reagan consults her, too. Trust me, he has the last say and signs off on everything. Do you know her?”
He pauses. “I’ve heard of her.” He slides off the bed and says, “I’ll bring you a washcloth.”
“Thanks.” I press my cheek into the soft flannel pillowcase and wait, my muscles loose from my orgasm and fatigue. It’s been a long day.
Gage steps into the bedroom holding a damp washcloth, and he sits on the bed. Gently, he cleans the semen off my hands and belly. After he’s finished, he rinses it with warm water, tenderly spreads my legs, and wipes the insides of my thighs. The kind gesture brings tears to my eyes. “You didn’t want to make love.”
“Zarah. I don’t want you to rush, and what we did tonight was more than what I had planned. We have plenty of time. When you’re ready, making love will feel natural, and you’ll give yourself to me without doubts. Tonight was perfect, and I’m looking forward to sleeping next to you all night.”
My throat burns. I may never again find a man as understanding as Gage. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. No matter what you think, no matter what it looks like, everything I do is because I want to keep you safe and happy. No other reason.”
My skin is still damp, but I sit up and wrap my arms around him. “I’m sorry about Max.”
He sighs and rubs my back. “I am too, but I think he’d like this. I think he’d approve.”
Max’s father doesn’t, but I don’t say anything.
Gage kisses my forehead and steps into the hall and into the bathroom.
In my bag, I dig out fresh panties, my nightgown, and a robe. “Can I feed Baby?”
“Yeah. There’s food in the pantry next to the fridge. I need a minute. Do you want the bathroom first?”
“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”
I dress and carry the prescription bottle into the kitchen. The pills rattle inside, sending apprehension zipping over my skin. I hate the sound. In the pantry, I find a large plastic container of kibble, and interested, Baby looks up. A small shovel is wedged into the dog food, and I pull it out and pour a scoop into her bowl. She pads over and starts eating, and I rinse her dish and give her fresh water, too. While she’s crunching, I take my medication and the cool tap water tastes delicious. I didn’t realize I was so thirsty.
Gage hasn’t come out of the bathroom yet, and I sit on the floor and keep Baby company while she eats. I could go back to the bedroom, but I like Gage’s dog. Animals are so easy. Either they like you or they don’t.
Baby slops water all over the floor when she drinks, and I laugh. Can my life be this simple? Live with the man I love, feed the dog. That sounds basic, uncomplicated, but I’ll need more. Stella needed more, and maybe she found it taking classes.
Petting Baby, I consider Jerricka’s ideas. I could volunteer at one of Mom’s charities. I could fundraise for the no-kill shelter. She was so proud of the work she did for the animals.
Gage lets Baby outside one last time, and I brush my teeth and crawl into bed.
I’m not waiting long before he slams inside. “It’s still snowing,” he says, tugging off the sweatpants he wore to go out. He slips between the sheets and curls his cold body around mine. I gasp, laughing, and he presses a chilly kiss to my jaw. Wearing boxers and a t-shirt, he wraps his arms around me. “I could get used to this.”
“You won’t let me live here.” It still stings he sent me home, that he wasn’t open to even the idea of me moving into his apartment.
“I would love it, but when you’re ready to do that, we could pick out a place together.”
“I like it here.” I do. I like how cozy it is. It doesn’t matter to me that Zane and Stella’s master suite is bigger than his entire apartment.
“You don’t belong here.”
His words crush me, and I turn in his arms. “Then I don’t belong anywhere.”
“You’re better than this dumpy little box. One day you’ll find your place.”
I kiss him, his beard scratching my skin. “I thought I had. Here.”
“Zarah,” he groans my name and hugs me to him, his chest solid and comforting.
“I love you, Gage. Don’t tell me this isn’t where I belong. It’s here, or the penthouse, or the country house. A different apartment, or a house in the suburbs, it doesn’t matter as long as your arms are around me, like this.”
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