Page 79

At two o’clock we were summoned to the garden for Melissa’sTaboo Topicsclass. I had no idea what the hell this was, and also thought that perhaps Theo and I should cut our losses and bow out of the retreat at this point. I was confident that I was only going to like him more as we became closer, not less. And that wasn’t the plan, was it? It wasn’t what we’d promised each other.

I walked across the garden to join the group who were sitting in and around the summer house at the bottom of the garden. The weather was particularly glorious and, wanting to make the most of our last couple of days in France, I’d worn a floral mini dress and flip-flops and sunglasses and my straw hat and suppressed the niggling thought that I’d made an extra effort because I wanted Theo to notice and to maybe feel a pang of regret about what might have been. I should probably have worn my baggiest leggings and a dirty T-shirt and then he wouldn’t have looked at me twice, which was what I really wanted, wasn’t it?

‘Welcome Scarlett,’ purred Melissa, directing me to a pair of sunbeds next to the orange tree where Theo was already sitting, looking devastatingly handsome as usual.

‘Hi,’ I said, perching on the end of the other lounger.

‘Afternoon,’ he replied. I couldn’t help noticing that his eyes travelled down to my feet and then up and over my body until we made the most intense eye contact known to man.

I got some suncream out of my bag so that I had something to look at that wasn’t him but then realised that massaging Ambre Solaire oil into my bare limbs probably wasn’t thebest course of action here. My nerve endings were on fire and as I stroked the oil into my shoulders, I could feel Theo actively not-watching me. At one point he put his head in his hands and I swiftly put my oil away. Bad idea.

‘Right,’ said Melissa. ‘Taboo topics time. I am going to hand out a pack of cards to each pair. On every card, you’ll find a thought-provoking question for your partner to answer. Just keep taking it in turns to pull a card until I ask you to stop.’

I glanced across at Claire who grinned at me. I’d noticed a change in her over the last couple of days and she seemed to be much more willing to get involved. Plus she and Rob were laughing more, which could only be a good thing. Meanwhile, the atmosphere between Theo and me felt different. Not in a bad way, exactly, but there was a tension in the air again that hadn’t been there for a while. Perhaps having a laugh with the game would put things on an easier track again, although it would help if I could put my finger on exactly what the tension was about.

‘Shall I start?’ I said, picking up the cards Melissa had placed on the little table between us.

‘If you have to,’ said Theo, pressing a closed fist against his lips. His body language was clearly signalling to me that he did not want to be doing a talky task about feelings.

Soft French music began piping out of speakers I didn’t even know existed and it would have been the perfect atmosphere for romance to blossom, except that romance was the opposite of what we were trying to achieve here. I made the decision there and then that this would be the last task we’d take part in. I opened the packet of cards, pulling one out, taking a breath before I read it.

‘If you quit your job tomorrow, what would you do?’

This was good. Thinking about careers was as unsexy atask we could hope for given the nature of the game and the fact that Melissa had come up with it.

‘I’d never quit writing,’ said Theo. ‘If I couldn’t produce novels anymore, I’d try writing something else. Perhaps I’d be a journalist. Or a poet.’

‘I didn’t know you wrote poetry,’ I said, surprised.

‘I don’t,’ he said. ‘But never say never. Your turn,’ he said, plucking a card from the pack.

He read the card through and hesitated, shifting on his lounger.

‘Go ahead,’ I said, although judging by the way he was squirming around it was a question that he didn’t want to ask and I probably didn’t want to answer.

‘Is it our similarities that attract us to each other, or our differences?’

I immediately felt far too hot and began fanning myself with my hand which made not a jot of difference. How was I going to answer this?

‘Um . . .’ I said.

‘Yeah,’ said Theo, laughing lightly.

Maybe we could see the funny side of this.

‘Well, I always thought we were very different,’ I said tentatively. ‘I used to admire your confidence and your single-mindedness and your ambition, all the things I felt I was lacking when I was in my twenties.’

Theo frowned. ‘And now?’

‘And now I think we’re more similar than I’d thought. We’re both afraid to let our guard down, and because I can see that in you, it makes it easier for me to not judge myself. To share things with you, but to not feel like I have to.’

‘So you’d say it was our . . . similarities that attract you to me?’ clarified Theo, looking at me hard.

‘I think that’s what I’m saying, yeah,’ I said, althoughmy brain was fizzing so hard I couldn’t think straight. All I could think about was his plump pink mouth and what it would feel like to run my thumb over his eyebrow and then about ripping his T-shirt clean off so that I could look at his upper body, really look at it. I shook my head, willing myself to focus on something else. Anything else.

‘Your turn,’ I said, pulling a card.

The words on the card burned into my retina. All I could see was the word SEX, flashing at me like a beacon.