Page 65

Story: Couples Retreat

Theo chose that precise moment to wade over and throw me another dark look.

‘Renee, I’m so sorry if we stepped out of line,’ he said, looking pointedly at me. ‘It wasn’t our intention to listen in on your . . . conversation. Or to interfere,’ he said, his eyes flickering to me again.

I tutted, annoyed. I didn’t need him apologising for me as though I’d done something wrong. People needed me to step in sometimes and that was a fact. Just because he was too scared of conflict to help out anyone, ever.

‘Trust me, it’s totally fine,’ said Renee. ‘I actually really appreciate you coming over, Scarlett. We were arguing about the same shit we always argue about and it was going nowhere fast.’

I nodded empathetically. ‘I know what you mean,’ I said, giving Theo a look of my own.

‘Justin finds it super hard to be romantic,’ said Renee. ‘Even a little bit. Twenty-seven years old and zero clue about how to make his wife feel good about herself. I don’t understand why he can’t put himself out there and try, for me.’

‘That’s men for you,’ I said, sympathetically.

‘Excuse me,’ said Theo, ‘but men are capable of romance, too, you know.’

‘I hope you’re not talking about yourself?’ I quipped.‘Obviously not,’ he said, smiling at me with a tight mouth.

Renee, perhaps realising that she had a chance to consider the situation from another perspective, rounded on Theo.

‘You’re an author, right?’ she said.

‘Yes . . .’ said Theo with trepidation, as though there were going to be some horrible repercussions to admitting it.

‘So you must be good at tapping into your own emotions, then?’

I resisted the urge to snort out loud.

‘Um . . .’ said Theo.

‘Is there any chance you could have a word with Justin?’ said Renee earnestly, her blonde curls turning darker and more tightly coiled in the water. ‘Show him that it’s not emasculating for men to be romantic, too?’

I laughed out loud at that point, I couldn’t help myself. As if Theo was capable of showing other men how to express romantic feelings. If anything, it should be the other way round. Justin might not be particularly demonstrative when it came to hearts and flowers, but at least he was feelingsomething.

‘What’s so funny?’ asked Theo, turning to me.

‘Nothing?’ I said hopefully.

‘Well clearly there’s something, Scarlett,’ said Theo, not letting me off the hook. ‘Do share.’

Renee was looking at me quizzically, too. Fuck.

‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I shouldn’t have laughed, that was rude of me.’

‘It was, a bit,’ said Theo, looking all affronted. Was this guy for real? He surely couldn’t think that stringing multiple women along at once and then ghosting them when things got ‘serious’ made him an expert in romance?

‘It’s just that Theo doesn’t really do feelings either, Renee,’ I explained. ‘Or at least, that’s how it comes across. Obviously I can’t profess to know what goes on in his head,’I added, even though I thought I was one hundred per cent right on this. ‘He’s sworn off relationships altogether, in fact. And I reckon he’d be hard-pressed to come up with a single romantic gesture if his life depended on it.’

I thought I’d probably gone a bit far with that last statement, but in for a penny, in for a pound.

‘Renee, if it will help, I’m happy to have a chat with Justin,’ he said, looking at me defiantly. ‘And no, perhaps I’m not the most emotionally literate person, but I like to think I’ve learned something in the thirty-two years I’ve been on this planet, despite what Scarlett might think.’

‘You’re actually offering to do this?’ I said, incredulous.

‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘Consider me at your service, Renee,’ he said with a mock half-bow.

‘That is very nice of you, Theo,’ said Renee. ‘And honestly, anything you can do has to be an improvement.’

A look crossed Theo’s face that I couldn’t quite work out. Like he’d had a memory of something, or as if he realised what he’d agreed to do and was wondering what he’d let himself in for.