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‘Did you experience Theo as being difficult to pin down? Kind of elusive, like you didn’t know what he was thinking? Was he giving you mixed signals?’

Fucking hell, she wasn’t messing about, was she? It was like she’d seen it first-hand and was somehow tapping into the memories I’d stored neatly away for the last six years. Because that was exactly how I’d felt – one minute he blew hot, the next he blew cold. By the end, I’d had no idea whether he was falling madly in love with me or couldn’t care less about whether we were more than friends or not. Given how it had panned out, I’d assumed the latter.

‘Sort of?’ I admitted, sensing Theo stiffen next to me. I could feel myself crumbling under the pressure of everyone waiting for an answer, and I felt really bad about throwing him under the bus like this, but Melissa was relentless. I’dheld her off for as long as I could, but truly, it was like I imagined I’d feel if I was ever on trial. ‘It’s hard to tell, because we were only . . . working together,’ I added, hoping that would shut her up.

‘Yes, but often our attachment style affects our relationships across the board, with friends, colleagues, lovers and family members. Theo, can I ask about your mother? What is your relationship like with her?’

I winced, imagining what his face must look like right about now. There probably wasn’t a more devastating question she could have asked.

‘Can we not talk about that?’ said Theo, his voice strained.

‘Stay with that feeling, Theo,’ said Melissa, her voice dropping an octave and going all soft and gooey. ‘Tell me about her.’

‘There’s nothing to tell. I barely speak to her. I might see her at Christmas for a day or two if I’m lucky. Otherwise she does her own thing with her new family and I do mine.’

‘New family?’ said Melissa, not missing a beat.

‘She re-married,’ said Theo simply. ‘A couple of years after she left my dad. I have a half-sister, Violet. She’s about to turn seventeen. Once she came along, my mother barely bothered to make contact.’

I had the urge to scoop Theo into my arms and hold him tight and tell him that everything was going to be all right, like I used to do with Kate and Zach, even when everything blatantly wasn’t going to be all right. Difficult as my family could be, I couldn’t imagine not having them in my life. Without them, things would be quiet and lonely and kind of meaningless. Which sounded quite appealing when I had a writing deadline and needed to focus, but I wouldn’t want it like that all of the time.

‘Are you scared of getting close to people, Theo?’ askedMelissa, leaning forward in her seat to emphasise her point.

Claire raised her eyebrows at me and I quickly grimaced at her. This was horrendous.

‘Not particularly,’ said Theo.

It was no good, I was going to have to save him.

‘It’s interesting because I lost my mum when I was nine and so she wasn’t around at all, but I still don’t feel like I avoid getting close to people again,’ I blurted out.

Paul let out a soft whistle and the entire circle went silent, and of course Harmony was giving me the sort of pouty, sympathetic look I hated. But I’d had to say something quite shocking and big to pull the attention away from Theo because he couldn’t bear it and I probably could, just about.

Theo gave me a weird look, clearly wondering what in God’s name had possessed me to bring that up.

‘Thank you for sharing that, Scarlett,’ cooed Melissa. ‘That must have been a very difficult time for you.’

I nodded, desperately willing myself not to get choked up. I didn’t want to save Theo at my own expense, that would be the ultimate humiliation. I must be strong, I must not let them see how awful it was. Still was sometimes, if the truth be told. Hold it together, Scarlett, I told myself.

I took a deep breath, keeping my voice steady. ‘It was – challenging. She was a wonderful mother. But you get over things, don’t you?’

Melissa gave me one of her disbelieving looks. ‘Grief affects us in all sorts of ways,’ she said. ‘I wonder whether you find it quite hard to give everything of yourself to someone, Scarlett? Because being able to have relationships is one thing, but truly showing somebody your heart and soul is quite another. After all, what if they leave you, like your mother did?’

Now it was my turn to want to push my chair back andstrop off into the garden and dive into the pool, never to resurface. Why had I subjected myself to this, again? Theo probably hadn’t even wanted my help.

‘I also noticed you were very quick to jump in and rescue Theo,’ said Melissa, really going to town. Seriously, could I just leave?!

‘That wasn’t my intention,’ I lied.

‘Have you two ever been romantically involved?’ she asked, looking from one of us to the other.

‘No!’ we said in unison. I attempted to put a trace of disgust in my voice to demonstrate what a ridiculous concept that was. ‘We’re writing partners!’ I added for emphasis.

‘Physically intimate?’ asked Melissa.

Theo made a sort of yelping sound. ‘Oh, come on!’

I looked at Claire who had her hand over her mouth in shock, probably wondering what fate was to befall her and Rob when it was their turn. So far Melissa had been quite gentle with us, but it was day six of the retreat – halfway through, in fact – and things were clearly hotting up. And it was too much for Theo and it was on the cusp of being too much for me, too.