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‘Heard anything more from Carla?’ I asked, ignoring the rumblings of something in my chest, a reminder of how rejected by him I’d felt and was dangerously close to feeling again. See, this was what I hated about relationships: you had to open yourself up to the possibility of getting hurt.That’s what had worked so perfectly with me and Jackson (even if that was the only thing that had worked perfectly) – in hindsight, neither of us had thrown ourselves into the relationship fully. We were friends with benefits who ended up living together. I didn’t think either of us had truly imagined it as a forever thing.

‘Not since her email the other day. Sounds promising, though, doesn’t it?’ he said, his face softening a little.

I nodded. ‘At least we’re not enduring all of this for nothing.’

He laughed, and so did I. This was the closest we’d got to being nice to each other and it was good to see him do something other than glower at me. He used to smile a lot when he was younger – let’s just say our creative writing tutor had taken teachingextremelyseriously and the two of us had snickered like school children whenever he’d said something particularly wanky. Was Theo really less laid-back now, or had age simply beaten some of the unbridled joy out of both of us? Was it possible to change that much in six years? I supposed things had become more difficult for me, especially recently. Splitting up with Jackson, my diminishing finances, my dad’s deteriorating health. Perhaps it was the same with Theo. And although I’d been determined to keep him at arm’s length, I slowly found myself wanting to know what he’d been doing since I’d seen him last, to hear about the experiences he’d had, what he was hoping for now. And I didn’t know what that meant, but from a logical point of view it made sense – if things went well with the book, would we really be able to see it through without knowing a single thing about each other’s lives?

‘Right, off you go to find your spots,’ instructed Melissa.

A grumbling Claire and Rob picked up some scissors and glue and Justin and Renee dithered about which magazinesto choose, picking one up, flicking through it and then throwing it back down on the table as though it was a hot coal. I hung back with Theo, thinking that if I went last I’d have less choice, which suited me. My life revolved around making decisions, and so when I got the chance to not make any, I positively revelled in it.

‘I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this. Thinking about the future really isn’t my thing,’ said Theo, looking worriedly at the craft table. I glimpsed his pearly white teeth as he bit his lip, the pink of it paling a little.

This task seemed to be making him anxious, which was strange – it was only supposed to be a bit of fun, surely. And it was his life, it wasn’t like he could get it wrong.

‘How come?’ I asked before I could stop myself. I really wanted to know. Perhaps this was one of those changes Melissa was talking about. I’d just stepped out of my comfort zone and so far, Theo hadn’t told me to mind my own business. I reached for a magazine, flicking through it, not sure what kind of reaction to expect.

‘It feels difficult enough to stay in the present sometimes. To focus on the things I have to do now, to give it my all. To not look back. I can’t imagine trying to look forward as well,’ he said.

I looked at him, thinking that this was the most open with me he’d been. Ought I to give him my honest response to what he’d just said, or should I cut the conversation dead? Stick to safer topics, as per the plan I’d come up with before I’d even set foot in France.

‘Like, it’s overwhelming for you, you mean?’

He shook his head. ‘Not exactly. I mean that when I try to think about what my life might be like in five years’ time, I can’t picture it. At all. I’ve got no clue, my brain just sort of shuts down.’

I tried not to look surprised, but I was. How did he keep going as a writer, then, if he wasn’t forward-thinking? Because the industry was all about trying to second-guess the next best thing. Come up with a hook that might still be relevant in eighteen months when the actual book came out.

‘You weren’t expecting that, I presume,’ said Theo, reluctantly picking up a pair of scissors and peering at them as though he had no idea what he was expected to do with them.

I turned to face him. ‘I’m the opposite, I suppose – all about the future, scared to let my mind pull me back to the past.’

On a gust of wind I could smell his aftershave again. He was standing dangerously close, so close I could see the solitary crease in his black T-shirt, noticed that his beard was already longer than it had been when we’d shared the taxi together. The breeze was warm and I could hear the rustle of the palm trees all around me. It was perfect. Perfect for what, I didn’t know.

‘Scarlett? Theo? Everything all right?’ called Melissa, looking over at us, one delicate hand shielding her eyes from the sun.

I gave her a thumbs-up. ‘Yep! Just choosing our bits!’

Theo moved closer to the table, bending to peer at the magazines on offer.

‘Well. Guess there’s no avoiding this,’ he said.

‘Doesn’t look like it,’ I replied, grabbing a Pritt Stick and a copy of FrenchVogue. I smiled to myself as out of the corner of my eye I watched Theo pick up a pot of gold glitter, frown at it and put it back. He didn’t strike me as the type to put glitter on his vision board, although I was intrigued to see what he did come up with.

‘Have fun,’ I called over my shoulder to him before turning and heading for a lounger by the pool.

An hour or so later, Melissa, who had been wafting around checking our work and making soothing, encouraging comments about our burgeoning boards, made us all get back into our pairs to talk through our creations. Theo joined me by the pool, pulling up a lounger next to mine. My shoulders were hot from the sun and I looked longingly at the water, desperately wanting to go for a swim but knowing that once we were done with this I’d have to head back to my room to write. We were supposed to be sharing our first two chapters later and mine needed a considerable amount of revising before I did.

‘Was it as bad as you thought?’ I asked, looking pointedly at the back of his vision board which he’d put face down on the ground as though he was going to do a big reveal of what was on the other side.

‘Affirmative,’ he said.

‘Shall I go first, then?’

‘Be my guest.’

I pushed my vision board in his direction, swivelling it round so that it was upside down for me but the right way up for him. It wasn’t the most impressive bit of artwork I’d ever produced, but I’d put some effort into it, and it looked about as aesthetically appealing as I could hope for in an hour and with limited materials.

Theo nodded approvingly.