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Hey, sis. Hope France is cool. Think that’s where you are?Anyway, wondered if you could help me find some cheap accommodation near uni at some point? Know you’re great at all that stuff. Let me know.

I went to respond straight away and then stopped myself, throwing my phone on the side, reassuring myself that it was fine not to think about it tonight. But then I didn’t want to think about the other thing, either (Theo) so I opened up the French doors, grabbed my laptop and went out onto the balcony, hoping that losing myself in the world of our novel would be just the distraction I needed.

Chapter Fourteen

The taxi dropped us off at the edge of Mougins, next to the very plush-looking tourist office, and we spent a few minutes doing nothing but look at the view and take selfies that didn’t do our beautiful backdrop justice. It felt like we were literally in the centre of Provence, with green hills on all sides, as far as the eye could see. Delicate clusters of white buildings were dotted about here and there, villages and towns. Grasse, famous for its perfume production was on my must-see list, but at this rate, I wouldn’t make it over there this time. I’d already vowed to come back when I could take life at a slower pace and explore the Côte d’Azur properly. Between the retreat and the writing, I’d barely had time to see any of it.

Once we were all photographed out, we walked into the heart of the pedestrianised village, which was like something out of a film set, and almost perfectly preserved. Melissa, Theo, Justin, Harmony and Paul went striding off ahead with me, Renee and Claire bringing up the rear because we kept stopping to look in the windows of chic, summery boutiques and poking our heads into rickety little candle shops and cool art galleries that I made a mental note to come back to with Theo since we had two hours to kill.

When we arrived in a pretty, cobbled square, Melissa stopped by the clock tower, which I assumed must be hundreds of years old. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, lettingmyself imagine what it would have been like to live here in the Middle Ages with the sun beating down on our heads, marooned on this hilltop, Cannes and the coast an hour or more’s walk away.

‘Right, guys,’ announced Melissa, who was looking floatier and more sylph-like than ever today in her floor-sweeping maxi skirt and crop-top combo with a scarf tied loosely around her neck and gladiator sandals. It went without saying that I’d played it safe, with jeans and a lemon-coloured peasant top, my own very subtle nod to floaty and bohemian. ‘Let me set you your task for the day. I want you to go off in your couples and explore this stunning village. There’s plenty to see, whether you’re into Michelin-star dining or art galleries. Take your pick. All I ask is that by the time we meet back here at 1 p.m., you have discovered three things about your partner that you didn’t know before.’

I heard Claire tut next to me and stifled my laughter.

‘I know everything I want to know about my husband, thank you very much,’ she grumbled under her breath.

I nodded in alliance. ‘And I couldn’t care less about getting to know Theo. In fact, the less I know about him, the better.’

Fearful of being caught slagging off the task, I retrained my focus on Melissa, pretending to give it my full attention.

‘I’ll see you back here in two hours’ time,’ trilled Melissa. ‘Have fun, guys!’

And with that, she sent us on our way with a jaunty wave and the noisy jangle of her massive drop-earrings that looked more like wind chimes than jewellery. Theo and I shuffled closer to each other. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I was: that this might be a good opportunity to pitch up somewhere and write. I might not have my laptop with me, but I had my notebook so I could write longhand andtype it up later. And Melissa would never know. It wasn’t like she was going to ask us to spill each other’s secrets in the bar later. As if reading my mind, Melissa approached us, touching me lightly on the arm.

‘An additional note for you two. No shop talk. No writing, no talking about writing, no planning your writing. I want you to engage with each other and really dig deep. I guarantee you, getting to know each other better will only improve your creative process. Yes?’

I nodded obediently. ‘OK, sure,’ I said brightly, as if I wasn’t dreading every single second of this. I’d partly lied to Claire, which I felt bad about now, but it was a turn of phrase more than anything. It wasn’t true that I ‘couldn’t care less’ about getting to know Theo. It was more that I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to convince myself that he was the terrible person I’d made him out to be. It suited me to paint him as the villain, after what had happened before. If I found out some other truth, I’d feel rocked and confused and – most terrifyingly of all – there was a danger I might start liking him – really liking him – all over again.

As we watched Melissa gliding away, we stood alone in the square, both of us seemingly unsure where to start.

‘Which way shall we go?’ he asked. ‘Should I pull up a map?’

‘Let’s just wander,’ I said. ‘See where it takes us. It’s only a village, we can’t get that lost.’

Famous last words, of course, but I’d looked it up on Google maps last night and it was miniscule, so I was pretty confident that we could find our way back to what was clearly the main village square.

I strutted off into one of the streets that looked most appealing, although we were spoilt for choice. The sweet stone buildings on either side of the cobbled lane were swathedin ivy and there were pops of colour from hanging baskets bearing tiny cerise flowers, and the ubiquitous shutters on the upstairs windows, pale blue with little heart-shaped cut-outs. It was achingly atmospheric and romantic and, frankly, the sort of place you could easily get carried away and spill your most closely guarded secrets to someone. I’d have to keep my wits about me, and not drink too much, although I was already craving an ice-cold glass of rosé, it was that kind of day, with the blue sky stretching crisp and clear above our heads. We passed a glass-roofed restaurant with a huge tree sprouting out of it, as though they’d built their business around it using nature as a centrepiece. Every other shop was a sweet little gallery housing paintings and sculptures that I found interesting but had no idea if Theo did. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, gauging whether or not I should suggest going in. He happened to be looking at me, too, and I got momentarily caught up in his gaze all over again.

‘Another day, another task,’ said Theo, smiling wryly, and maddeningly still looking at me in a way that made me feel all lightheaded.

‘Let’s give it a go,’ I suggested boldly. Not that I particularly wanted to either, but it felt like we ought to at least try. The further into the retreat we got, the more invested in it I was trying to be. And I wasn’t necessarily thinking about me and Theo – God, no – but about myself and my relationships and how I might like to navigate them in the future. After all, Melissa had a world-class reputation – if anyone could turn me into the bold, confident resilient woman I strived to be, she could.

Theo frowned. ‘What kind of things does she want us to reveal?’

‘Just say whatever comes into your head,’ I insisted.

‘My God,’ said Theo. ‘You’re really into this, aren’t you?’

‘I’m not,’ I protested.

‘You’re acting like there’s nothing you’d rather do!’ he declared. ‘You wouldn’t rather be off getting drunk on French wine with Claire?’

‘Well, when you put it like that.’

That got a smile out of him.

And then just as I was thinking of what to say next, whether to just get on with it and put something innocuous about myself out there so that I’d followed Melissa’s instructions but had swerved having to get to the stuff I reallydidn’twant to talk about, my phone rang. I’d actually been hoping I wouldn’t have any reception up here in the hills so that I could have had a couple of hours off from worrying about what was going on at home, but clearly that was not to be. Despite the centuries-old buildings, Wi-Fi up here didn’t appear to be a problem.