Page 18 of Wrestling with Daddy

“Ken?”

“I’m here.”

“I think taming me would be very rewarding.”

Despite the exhaustion, a new ounce of strength had pushed him to say that, to relive the hurt of those words as he’d read them only earlier that day.

“I’m beginning to think so, too,” Ken eventually admitted, in barely a whisper. “You’re trouble.”

“In a good way?”

“I can’t answer that yet.”

Nathan figured that had to be good enough.

CHAPTER5

ken

Nathan

I’m embarrassed

So was Ken,even though the reasons would surely be completely different.

“Let me get this straight,” Lee walked beside him past all the casinos to the club. “You downloaded the app Ash has been nagging you about, you started talking to a boy, he called you while he was dropping after a scene, and now you’re taking days off work to meet him in Sacramento?”

Ken rubbed the back of his neck. He’d considered missing out on their weekly meets at the club just to avoid the interrogation. He couldn’t bring himself to do it in the end, though.

“I’m not that much of a workaholic,” he protested.

Lee only glanced back at him with one of his signature eyebrows raised.

Point taken, he guessed.

“What’s the last time you took time off like this?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. There was no point in trying to come up with a date that would only incriminate him further. “I tried to set it up as a business travel, but we only work with a hotel chain there, and I just visited two months ago to consult about a renovation. The construction hasn’t even started.”

“Right.”

Ken had tried to come up with all possible excuses, but there was no point. Then, he’d spent all of Thursday trying to reason and tell himself that he was being ridiculous and Nathan was certainly not expecting him to drop everything and visit him right that minute.

They’d been texting a bit every day, their 20 question game on hold, and Nathan hadn’t mentioned anything.

The problem was that Ken couldn’t forget that call, the anguish in Nathan’s voice, the quiet tears and sobs, the detachment as Nathan obeyed or answered his questions. The insecurity that felt like an ingrained part of him.

At the very least, Ken needed to see him in the flesh, to check that he was all right with his own two eyes.

He needed to hold him, too, but Ken couldn’t tell him that.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you,” Lee started saying once they were seated and each had a drink. “But what’s the plan here? Are you going to do long distance? Online roleplaying?”

“Sacramento isn’t that far.” It was only two hours by car. Ken had traveled much farther for his firm. “I just need to check in on him.”

“Been a long time since you last went full on Daddy.”

“I know.”