Page 37

chapter thirty seven

cowboys can be sad too

T he 6:00 AM air clung to my skin, carrying that earthy smell of grass and horses that reminded me I was home better than the house did. The sky stretched out before me, streaked with soft pinks and yellows, like a canvas someone had brushed too delicately to ruin. It was the kind of morning you only got out here—quiet, untouched, and full of hope.

I’d missed it. All of it. The fields, thehorses, the way the countryside seemed tobreathe in a rhythm that calmed everything from the blades of grass to the beating of my heart. But the stillness wasn’t as peaceful as it should’ve been. It felt… fragile. Like the wrong sound or movement could shatter it.

I glanced toward the house for theeightieth time since I’d been out here, and some part of me hoped I’d see Dad. Purely to stop the torment of wondering when, or if, he was going to show.

He hadn’t come home last night. And Itold myself that waiting up on the porch wouldn’t do anything. All that would do was make me hate him more for making me worry like he deserved it. But I didn’t listen. I’d stayed up, waiting for the rumble of his truck in the driveway, listening for anything and everything. But there was nothing.

So here I was, running a brush down Luna’s coat, pretending the silence didn’t bother me. Pretending I wasn’t worried, and hating myself for being worried when I goddamn knew that jackass wasn’t worried about me.

Then rustling came from behind me, faintbut enough to snap me to attention. I turned, the brim of my hat blocking out the glare from the sun. I half-expected Dad. It wasn’t him.

But the pink silhouette in his placewas a sight for my tired, sleep-deprived eyes.

Rory stood there, her pink ginghampyjamas a vision against the beams of theporch. Her hair fell over her shoulder in a loose braid, tiny streaks of the sunrise making the dark strands seem lighter. Her feet were bare, toes curling slightly as she came down the steps and wandered in the damp grass, looking at me like she’d caught me stealing a moment I didn’t want to share.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she called, a soft smiletugging at her lips as she stepped closer, her arms wrapped around her.

I shrugged, focusing back on Luna.“Figured I’d make use of the day. You?”

I knew for a fact that those golden brown eyes had narrowed on me.I knew it just from the burning on the back of my neck.“You’re really going to make me believe you’re out here brushing horses before sunrise for fun? You, Finn sleeping til noon is the most important step of my morning routine Rhodes, is out at sunrise?”

I s norted, shaking my head. “You got me. Ijust missed the early morning gossipout in the barn.” I quickly looked at her, recognising the ache of her stare before setting it back to Luna. “No, I couldn’t sleep.”

The world was nothing but the nativemorning sounds for a moment or two, before the porch creaked again, and without thinking I whipped my head towards it. And like every time I turned to watch it, the steps were empty. There was no shadow. And before I knew it the world was silent again.

For a second I forgot that Rory could see me,forgot she could see my face as it sank.

I quickly turned and went back to brushing, praying for more silence. But the grass beside me rustled, and her shadow took over.

“Your grandpa was probably rightyesterday.” She whispered, and before I could turn my head and question her, she beat me to it. “I heard you two, out on the porch. I didn’t mean to but… I did.”

"You didn't say anything last night."

She shrugged. "I didn't want to say anything. You looked happy when you came back in, and for the rest of the day, actually. And I didn't want to ruin that." Her head shook as she took a step closer. “But I agree with everything he said. About you not being like him, about heartbreak being the reason behind all this… everything.”

While Grandpa had helped me finally seeall the ways I really was nothing like my Dad, I still thought he was wrong about one thing. I let out a laugh, too sharp, too bitter. “Youdon’t drink yourself to death because you’re heartbroken, Rory. There’s more to it.”

“Finn—”

I cut her off, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. “I don’t think heever cared about us enough to live fully without her. Mom was what kept him here. I just know it. So when she died, I think he realised that we were never his problem. But I think a part of him felt bad for abandoning us, so instead, he just… checked out. Mentally, emotionally, anything so he didn't have to face reality.”

She moved close enough that I could catchthe sweet scent that always clung to her, her eyes softening. “Or maybe he didn’t know how to live in a world without the love of his life. Maybe seeing you and Daisy reminded him of her, and it’s too much.”

I shook my head, rolling my eyes. “I don’tthink that—”

She didn’t let me finish. “Surely if hewanted to leave, he would have—”

“He’s an asshole, Rory.” My voice rose,sharper than the burweed. “This isn’t some tragic love story you’ve dreamed up. He’s an immature son of a bitch who has resented us for the career he gave up and the life he didn’t have. And when the only reason he was here died, he saw his escape route from taking care of us.” My chest was heaving, the words leaving me breathless. “It’s not a fucking broken heart.”

The air between us went still, the onlysounds coming from the horses and afew birds somewhere in the distance. But it felt like too much.

“ Finn?” She whispered, her hand reachingfor mine.

“Don’t.” It came out sharp, but felt like aplea.

Ignoring me entirely, she reached for myhand, her warm palms soothing me.“Please don’t push me out.”

I shook my head, yanking my hand fromunder hers. “I need some space.”

“Finn.”

“I said I need space.” I whipped my headaround, pinning her with my glare. “Please.”

The hurt in her eyes felt like being stabbedin my heart, but I couldn’t bear the pain of it, because I was the one who’d made her look like that. The only light in her eyes was from the glare of the sunrise, none of that sparkle that swam so naturally in them shining at all.

But quick as anything, I saw a burst of fire as her stare hardened. “When are you going to stop letting his actions control you?” My fingers tightened around the brush, as I felt her come closer. “When are you really going to detach yourself from him, Finn? I’ve seen you do it before, I've seen you forget everything that was holding you back last year. But right now I can’t see that version of you.”

My teeth grind against each other, my eyes squeezing shut.

But she’s right. She’s right, you goddamn idiot.

The subtle draft of her scent made me realise she'd moved beside me, her fingertips brushing the back of my hand thatwas still clenching the brush, each stroke like a promise that was guiding me back from the edge I was dangling off.

“ Do you remember what we talked about the night I kissed you?”

I don’t want to push you away.

Then don’t. Because I’m not going to let you.

Is that a threat, Greene?

It’s a promise

The sweet echo of her voice made my eyes drift open, at the right angle to catchhers on mine. I nodded.

Her smile was everything. “I neverbreak a promise, Finn. And I’m not about to start now.” Her hand fell off mine and in an instant her arms were around my waist, the side of her face pressed against my chest. “I’m not losing you again.”

Again.

I was doing it again.

I dropped the brush, letting it tumble into thedirt as I stepped toward her, wrapping my arms around her curvy frame and holding her close. My head hung low, my chin resting on the crown of her head, as my eyes cast onto the field. “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head against me, her voicegentle. “It’s okay. I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.”

“You do help.” I pulled back, sinking intothe green pools of her eyes. “You make everything better.”

“And you do the same for me.” Her head shook. “You make me laugh when I don’t want to because you hate seeing me sad. And all I want to do is ground you when you’re like this, because seeing you angry over something that isn’t worth your energy breaks me.”

I b rush my thumb over her cheek, watching the storm behind her eyes begin to settle as one of her tears slipped into my palm.

“Then in that case,” I murmured, “I have to ask you something important.”

Her brows lift, curious.

“Knock knock.”

Just like that, her eyes light up again. And as she melts into my arms, the house behind us feels less like my version of home.

I held her tighter than I ever had, asthough the morning breeze would've swept her away if I didn’t. And when her arms glided over my back, lacing around me and holding me tight, I wondered if she was doing the same.

Rory stayed quiet for a moment before Ifelt her shuffle, her head shifting so her cheek was right above my heart. “This was my favourite time of day when I lived here.”

My arms squuzed her, as I traced the tops of themountains guarding us. “Yeah?”

She nodded against me, her voice quieternow. “I’d wake up extra early and runoutside to the lake to skate. It was so quiet that I felt like everyone else had vanished, and I was all alone. It was probably the only time I remember wanting to be alone, actually.” She let out a small laugh, but it wasn’t happy. “But now I suppose I don’t have a choice but to be.”

Before I could say anything, she pulledaway and looked at me, her chin liftingslightly. “While he’s still here, don’t choose to be alone, Finn.”

My arms fell to her waist as my headdipped, and I sighed again. “I’m not choosing—”

“I see all of his missed calls on yourphone. All the time,” she said, cutting meoff.

I shook my head. “Answering won’t makehim any less of an asshole.”

She shrugged. “I thought the same withyou, you know?”

I went quiet, her words sinking in.

“I thought that agreeing to tutor you wouldn’t make me forget how much youhurt me, but it did. Slowly. I remembered just why I felt so drawn to you last year, and one day, we were skating, it just happened. I forgot that I hated you.” Her hand lifted, brushing against my cheek. “And now I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Her touch broke something open in me,and before I could think, I kissed her. Itwasn’t rushed or desperate—it was quiet, like the morning, like us. Her lips felt like the clouds. Her breaths sounded like the chime of our garden gate. Her hair smelt like the bluebells on the kitchen table.

Everything about her was just anotherreason why I couldn’t imagine my life without her either.

When we pulled apart, I didn’t let go ofher. I held her close, breathing her in, feeling her warmth. She made everything still, everything okay, even when it wasn’t.

I looked at her, a smirk tugging at my lips.“You ever ridden a horse before?”

She laughed softly, shaking her head.

I t ook off my hat, brushing the brim beforeplacing it on her head. “Well then, let’s saddle you up, Bambi, before the rest of the world knows we’re up.”

A quick morning ride turned into afull-fledged tour of the ranch. I didn’t mind.In fact, I needed it more than I probably realised.

I glanced over at Rory. Her cheeks werepink from the cold, her hair a little wild from the ride, and my hat still sat crooked on her head like it belonged there. She caught me looking and smirked, giving the brim a dramatic tip.

“You think your grandpa’s gonna be madwe borrowed the horses without asking?” she asked.

“Nah,” I said, adjusting my gloves. “Worstcase, he makes us shovel the whole driveway as punishment.”

Rory raised a brow. “Isn’t that, like, a milelong?”

“Yup. But on the bright side, if we startnow, we might be done by next Christmas.”

She rolled her eyes but laughed anyway. We rode in silence for a while, the mainbarn coming into view.

“So,” she said, stretching her arms as shedismounted Skye, my arms sliding under hers to lower her down. “What's the plan now? Breakfast? Or do we brave town so I can say hi to eve ryone?”

Wandering back to Luna, I brushed a handover her coat, considering. “Depends. Are you emotionally prepared for Mrs. Tilly to smother you like a long-lost grandchild the second you step into the diner?”

She groaned. “Oh god. Do you think she still makes that cinnamon bread?”

“Only on Thursdays.” I shot her a look.“And, lucky for you, it’s Thursday.”

Her eyes lit up. “Forget breakfast at home.We’re going into town.”

I smirked. “Thought you’d say that.”

We finished brushing down the horses, thebarn filled with the quiet sounds of their breathing and the occasional shuffle of hooves. Outside, the sun had climbed higher, the air carrying the faint metallic warmth of snow beginning to melt. My fingers were just starting to thaw out when we got to the porch.

But the moment we opened the door, theatmosphere shifted.

“Dais?” I called out, spotting her pacingin the living room. She didn’t respond, her hands raking through her curls as she muttered under her breath. Tears streaked her cheeks, her whole body trembling.

“Daisy, what’s wrong?” Rory asked softly,stepping toward her.

Daisy shook her head, her voice caughtsomewhere between a sob and a breath. Then Grandpa walked in from the kitche n,his face like stone. My heart sank before he even said anything.

“We just got a call,” he said, his voice lowand strained. His hands were clenched at his sides, his eyes darting between us.

“From who?” I asked, stepping forward, mystomach knotting.

“Honeywood General.”

The room fell sileant. All I could hear wasthe ticking of the old clock on the mantle and the pounding of my heart in my ears.

Grandpa exhaled sharply, running a handover his red face before blurting it out. “Your dad’s in the hospital.”

My chest tightened.

“They found him passed out on the side ofthe road. An ambulance happened to pass by and got him to the ER. Barely had a pulse when they found him.”

The words hit me like I’d been winded,knocking the air out of my lungs. I didn’t know what to feel. Relief? Anger? Guilt?

Rory moved to Daisy, wrapping an armaround her as Daisy’s knees buckled.She was crying harder now, her breath hitching, and I could hear Rory whispering soft reassurances, though her voice sounded shaky too.

Grandpa stepped closer to me, his eyesheavy with something between worry and anger. “Finn,” he said quietly, his hand landing on my shoulder.

I didn’t give myself time to think.

“I’ll drive us,” I said, my voice steadyeven though my mind was racing.

Gra ndpa studied me for a moment, thennodded. “I’ll grab the keys.”

Rory looked over at me, her eyessearching mine, and for a moment, the chaosaround us felt like background noise. I nodded at her, silently promising I’d handle it.

As Grandpa left the room, Rory moved toward me, leaving Daisy on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her.

“Finn—” she started.

“I’m fine,” I said quickly, grabbing myjacket from the hook by the door.

She didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t push it. Instead, she placed a hand onmy arm, grounding me. “We’ll figure it out,” she said softly.

I wasn’t sure if she was talking about Dador me. Either way, I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat as I pushed open the door.

And in the time we’d been in the house,the sun had vanished.