Page 31

chapter thirty one

you should always be the shoulder for the one that caught all of your tears

T he coast had never been somewhere I'd pictured myself existing. I grew up around meadows and mountains. I moved to bright lights and skyscrapers. But the ocean? We'd never been one before. But now that I had, I could see myself getting used to it.

The sun streamed through the wide windows of Cora’s sister’s house, paintingeverything in golden light. It was the kind of place that felt warm, even in November. The sea breeze drifted through a crack in the kitchen window, bringing with it the faint smell of salt and sand.

I walked from the hallway and into the conservatory to find Cora sitting curledon the wicker couch, her knees tucked up to her chest, navy cushions beneath her. Her blotchy cheeks told me how she'd spent her afternoon, and her shaky breaths were a good sign that she'd only just stopped.

This had been her spot since we arrived last night, after Harriet, Cora's sister, had told us to spend a few days up here instead of wallowing in the city. Aspen agreed I probably needed some time too before sectional rehearsals took over my life. And after one whiff of the sea air and feeling the salt spray get lost in my hair, I knew she was right.

Since then Cora hadn't existed anywhere but here. It had just been her, the sea view, and a blanket draped over her shoulders. And Harriett and I weremore than happy to let her just be. Pushing her to talk would have gotten us nowhere, and to be quite honest, just the thought of making her relive all that made me feel sick.

Sometimes you just needed someone to sit with you, to hold you while youtried to keep yourself together. And I was more than okay to be that for her, just like the girls had been that for me when I lost Dad.

I claimed the spot next to her and smoothed a hand over her hair. “Can I getyou anything? Tea? Toast? Every sad song Lily Allen has ever recorded?”

She nodded, but the tiny smile she set free didn’t reach her eyes, which stayedfixed on the waves. “Tea, please."

I nodded, more to myself, before I pressed a tiny kiss onto the crown of herhead. “I’ll be right back,” I said gently, pulling away.

Cora didn’t answer; she just hugged her knees tighter. I gave her hand a lightsqueeze before heading to the kitchen.

As I filled up the kettle and plucked out an Earl Grey tea bag from the jar onthe side, my phone buzzed on the counter. I wiped my hands on a towel, the soft squawks from the gulls filling the room before picking it up .

finn

today at 18:23pm

i miss you.

The words hit me square in the chest, like a shooting star had landed right inthe centre. I couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at my lips.

I typed back quickly, leaning against the counter as I did.

i miss you too.

His reply came almost instantly.

how’s nantucket? how’s cora?

nantucket is beautiful. cora is quiet. but she’s getting better.

good. that’s really good to hear.

how’s montana?

The dots appeared, disappeared, and reappeared before his response came through.

refreshing. i wish you could see it.

I set the phone down as I reached for Cora’s mug on the draining board. Mychest ached in that familiar way it always did when I thought about him. Being apart wasn’t new for us—there had been stretches like this before; practically all of freshman year was like this—but something about this time felt heavier.

Probably because you’re in love with him, and this time you don’t want to keepit to yourself.

“Rory?” Cora’s voice called weakly from the conservatory.

I tucked my phone into my pocket and brought the steaming tea to her, sitting down beside her again. She took the mug without a word, her fingers trembling slightly.

“I’m here,” I said softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

I’d think about my heart later. But right now, I needed to be there for Cora’s.