Page 10

chapter ten

if you catch me spelling out H.E.L.P M.E with my pom poms then just mind your business

“ O h God, I’m going to throw up. Pourquoi ai-je mangé deux pots de ma?s au caramel?” 1

Two was a horrid decision. And now itwas coming back to haunt me.

Sweat was practically dripping from the railing of the stage I was gripping onto. But I was too scared to move, knowing that if I did everyone in this place would see just how bad I had it for caramel corn.

“I know. I know,” Bindi whispered softly,sliding an arm around my shoulders,her warm palm soothing me. “I looked just like you do before my first performance.”

I carefully turned to her, narrowing my eyes. “You told me you’ve been cheering sinceyou were eight.”

She shrugged, unapologetic. “Yeah, and I looked and felt exactly like that.”

I gave her a dramatic eye-roll, leaning forward on the railing again as if I couldpour all my nerves out into the cold metal. My breath stuttered, but after a moment, and another deep breath, I straightened, determined to stand on my own two feet—until my other problem became blindingly apparent.

“Seigneur!” 2 I groaned, trying my best to pull at my top. “Whoever designed this uniform forgot that boobs exist. I’m genuinely worried for their safety.”

Bindi tried to stifle a laugh, but it slipped through anyway. “You’ll be fine.”

Easy for her to say. Her B-cups weren’t going anywhere. Meanwhile, myD-bordering-on-E’s were waging a war against the confines of this uniform and losing spectacularly.

I tugged at the fabric for the hundredth time, feeling both ridiculous andcompletely out of my depth. The reality of what I’d agreed to was settling in, but I couldn’t back out now.

Bindi squeezed my shoulder, her grin full of encouragement. “You’re going tokill it out there. Just remember to smile—and maybe try not to think about your boobs too much.”

“Impossible,” I deadpanned.

Remember why you’re doing this, Rory. Two hours of dancing in this torturedevice and you’ll have just enough for a class with Aspen. Enough for time on the ice. Alone. Just the way you need it to be.

I’d do anything for that chance, which was why I lifted my head from where itrested against the railing, shakin g out my arms as though that would jolt the nerves loose. I silently ran through the choreography, the steps tumbling through my mind like a mantra.

Taking a steadying breath, I turned to face the rest of the squad. Bindi stood inthe centre, her sharp, confident energy practically glowing as she led the huddle. Around her, the team was a patchwork of new and old: the original three cheerleaders, four new sophomore recruits, and a freshman guy who was hands down the tallest human I’d ever seen.

Bindi’s voice rose above the klaxon asshe glanced at the clock. “Alright, ladies… and Brandon! It’s showtime! If you forget what you’re doing then say a prayer and make whatever you’re doing look intentional. Freestyle if you have to.” Before she broke away, her eyes widened. “Oh, and have fun!”

I nodded, forcing a smile that probably looked more like a grimace, but no oneseemed to notice. Instead, Bindi shot me a wink as the group began moving toward the stage.

Just keep the caramel corn down, Rory. You can do that, surely.

My heart thumped hard enough to rival the music that was about to play, but I dug my heels in, pulling every ounce of courage from every corner of my body.

“Let’s go, Rory!” Bindi’s grin caught the light as she gestured for me to follow.

I stepped forward, my legs trembling with every move, though I managed tostay upright. My hands gripped the pom-poms so tightly they crackled in protest.

The opening beat of Shake It Off thumped through the arena, the familiarity ofthe notes washing over me, relaxing me that little bit. In front of me, Bindi moved like she was born for this. Her hips swayed effortlessly, her arms slicing through the air like she’d been choreographing this for years. I tried to follow, the steps coming fromvague muscle memory rather than instinct. My pom-poms shot up to spell G-O L-I-O-N-S as we practised, and I prayed my arms wouldn’t betray me halfway through.

When the sequence came to an end andthe song switched to Run Boy Run , theLions started skating onto the ice, and thecrowd’s cheers surged. My gaze flickered toward the players, and my chest tightened for a moment, knowing who was out there. But the fear didn’t consume me the way I’d expected.

“Next sequence guys! Let's do it!”” Bindihollered, spinning back into position like a spitfire. She threw a hand in the air to count us in as the height of the song pulsed around the rink.

My shoulders squared, and I looked out towards the ice, but my eyes, traitorsthat they were, slipped south, catching a pair of emerald green ones locked on me. They burned in a way that made my skin feel warm, like I was sitting too close to a crackling fire. Every spark from his gaze ignited something I knew I shouldn’t crave.

Because my plan—my fragile, carefully crafted plan—to be happy again, didn’tinclude heartbreak. It couldn’t. So whatever dynamic Finn and I had been stuck in for the past year had to stay exactly as it was: distant, safe.

Not like last year, when everything went off script.

I’d rushed to his side after the accident without a second thought. I could still picture the stark white of the hospital room, the machines humming softly around us, and the way his hand felt in mine. We didn’t say much, but the silence said pleanty. I thought about that day more than I should—how I’d come so close to telling him I still felt something. How my heart had been pounding so loudly I was sure he could hear it.

And how, in hindsight, I was thankful we were interrupted.

Because if I’d told him—if I’d let those feelings spill out—it would’ve beenheartbreak, round two: the sequel no one asked for. Knowing what came only a few months later, losing Dad so suddenly, I realised now how lucky I was to still have my heart intact enough to grieve him fully.

No extra weight dragging me down. No shards of broken glass threatening totear it apart.

So, I broke away from his gaze andcarried on dancing, ignoring every pull that told me to search for him.

I was high on adrenaline when I stepped off the stage, right as the klaxonsounded to signify the end of the second period. I felt it in my steps, in the backs of my knees that felt so tingly I was sure they were about to cave in.

My position in the formation meant I had a perfect view of the concessionstand, and truthfully, all I’d been thinking about since the end of our second routine was rewarding myself with one of everything they sold.

As the murmur from the crowds began, we bounded together in a messyhuddle, before each of us went off for our breaks. I had my sights set on the concession stand as I jogged off the stage and rounded the rink, the idea of a crisp cherry Dr. Pepper making me salivate—

“Oh God, I’m sorry—Ryan.”

I looked up, my heart stopping.

What was going on today? Why was I bumping into all the boys that had brokenmy heart? Was this some orchestrated joke that they’d planned to keep up their vow to ruin my life?

“Rory, hey.” His smile stretched across his face, that golden-boy charmpractically dripping off him like honey.

If you didn’t know Ryan, that smilewould get you—no question. It got me the day we met. And the way his thick brown hair flipped, like he’d just stepped out of a teen movie? Yeah, my pulse skyrocketed so fast that I had a genuine moment of wondering if I was about to drop dead.

My awkward smile pulled tight as Iducked my head. “I should go—”

“Wait.” His hand caught my wrist, thenquickly let go, as if realising the mistake. His head dipped, shame colouring his features. “I… I heard about your dad. I’m so sorry.” his eyes met his skates before lifting back to me with a slight shake of his head. “I would’ve regretted not saying anything to you. Especially after… you know.”

I looked back at him, his eyes pulling me in like they had so many timesbefore. But the trouble with trusting someone who had already broken you was that it was almost impossible to bel ieve they wouldn't do it again. And lucky for me, I wasn’t that naive anymore.

I squared my shoulders and took a stepback, lifting my chin. “I appreciate it. But I really do need to go—”

“Rory, wait.” He sighed, stepping in mypath again as I tried to move. “Look I get that I’m the last person you want to talk to but—”

“But what?” I interrupted, throwing myhands up. “If the only reason you’re talking to me is because you feel bad then justsave your breath. I appreciate your sympathy but I don’t want it. No, actually, I don’t need it. What I did need, was for you not to convince me you loved me when it was just some ridiculous bet with your friends.” My arms flailed, powered by nothing but disbelief. “What I need is for you to tell me why.”

His expression softened, the glimmer ofsomething real flickering in his eyes. Whether it was the crack in my voice that caused it or the fact that those memories were playing in his head like they were mine, I didn’t know. But regardless, it was there; a glimpse into the boy I thought I knew.

I shook my head, cutting off thethought. “Please don’t follow me.”

I turned, my steps firm, determined,until the sound of footsteps behind memade my stomach drop.

“Rory, just let me explain—”

“I’m sure if she wanted you to explain,she wouldn’t be walking away fromyou. Don’t you think?”

The voice stopped me cold. I whipped around so fast I felt dizzy. Stars dancedin my vision, but when they cleare d, Ryan was gone. In his place stood someone taller, broader, dressed in the same jersey and gear but with his helmet tucked under his arm. His blonde waves clung to his forehead, damp from the game.

And judging by the way Finn was standing—solid, unyielding—he wasn’tgoing anywhere.

“Finn, it’s fine.” I rushed as I steppedbetween them, reassuring both of them that I didn’t need saving and was perfectly fine on my own.

“Come off it, Rhodes.” Ryan grittedthrough his teeth, that angelic smile the most sarcastic thing I’d ever seen.

Finn pulled his head back, smirking infull force. “Oh, come off it like you came off the ice halfway through the first period for having a temper tantrum?”

And I take it back, that smirk was themost sarcastic thing I’d ever seen.

Ryan snorted as he let his helmet hangback down by his side. “Yeah, sure.Have fun watching the third period from the fucking bench.”

“Oh, I will,” Finn replied with anexaggerated yawn. “I need the rest aftercarrying your dead weight around the ice for the last hour.” He didn’t even pause for Ryan to react, already adding, “Now run along. I’m sure your seat in the penalty box is still warm.”

Ryan’s jaw tightened, his eyes blazingwith something unspoken, free of all the charm they shined with earlier. But just as he turned to leave, his gaze landed back on me. “We’ll talk soon, okay?”

I d idn’t nod. Didn’t whisper okay. Icouldn’t. Not when I knew that if I let himback in, even for a second, I’d have no one to blame but myself when he inevitably hurt me again.

As he disappeared, I let out the breathI'd kept trapped since stepping onto the Lioness' stage. It left meall at once, but my relief was short-lived. My entire body stiffened as I remembered Finn was still standing in front of me. Watching me.

I turned slowly, my eyes immediatelylocking with his. His body towered over me, that stance even more intimidating in his hockey gear.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice low,genuine, wrapping around me like awarm blanket. And just like that, any intimidation I felt in his shadow vanished. “You’re shaking.”

I blinked, startled, and glanced down atmy hands. He was right—they weretrembling, shaking like the ground might crack open at any second.

“Come here,” Finn murmured, slipping anarm around my shoulder before I could think to resist. He guided me to a quieter corner of the rink, just under the stands where the noise of the crowd and the glare of the lights faded into the background. I pressed my back against the cool concrete wall, letting out a shaky breath as my heart fought to slow down.

“What happened?”

I let my eyes trace the lines of hisfigure before they met his face, and for amoment, I just looked at him. Golden skin. A jaw line that looked lethal. Rosy cheeks. The way he stood like a barrier between me and the rest of the world.

I s queezed my eyes shut, shaking myhead. “It… it was nothing.”

“He was crowding you. That wasn't nothing.” he pressed, his tonefirmer now.

My head snapped up. “I was perfectlyfine dealing with him on my own—"

“Why are you here?” he asked, his voicelow and unwavering like he’d given up guessing. “You avoided this place like you’d catch something from it last year. Now you’re up there dancing?” his head shook. “Don’t get me wrong you looked happy, and I was happy to see you actually smiling…” His voice softened, the corners of his mouth lifting like he was picturing me, before he shook his head. “I just don’t get why.”

I laughed, only slightly. “Well it’s a goodthing it’s not for you to get.” I gotcaught in his stare for a moment, feeling my body slip beneath me until I caught myself. My arms flailed under him. “And if were talking about things that don't make sense, I don’t get why you suddenly care so much?”

Quick as anything, he nodded his chin at me before bitinghis bottom lip, my eyes falling south tosee it turning red. “I told you before that I felt bad for how we left things last year, how I went about things. And I’m trying to make things right, for the group, for us, for you…” His head hung low for a second, but I could still make out his heaving chest, his heavy breaths that hit my cold hands. “Why are you here, Rory?” As my name left his lips, he looked back at me.

I hadn’t realised how crazy my beinghere had sounded until he said that. I’dexhausted every excuse just so I didn’t have to come to these games last year, knowing that I felt safer tucked up in my dorm, reading about love stories instead of facing the disaster that was my own.

But what he’d said… about doing this forthe others, for us… I hated, more than anything, that I saw some sense in it. If I was truly going to be honest with myself now, truly be happy again, would diving the group because I couldn't get over that he didn't like me help that?

No, you idiot, so why are you doing it?

Maybe I could forgive, and be civil, butforget? I didn’t think that was possible,not right now.

But being honest with him was a start.

I looked back up to find his eyes holdingmine, something about it steadying me enough to take a breath and whisper, “I need the money for skating lessons.”

Confusion swirled in his stare. “Skating…” I could practically see the cogs turning in his mind. "You're skating again?"

I nodded, not knowing when I hadgotten so comfortable with him standing over me. “I'm trying to." Another breath soothed me, enough that I didn’tthink before looking up at him and letting the words fall out. “After you left me last week, I decided that I wanted to be happy again, and maybe that meant finally getting back out onto the ice. But it’s not as easy as simply going to a rink full of people and joining in, I need space.”

“I get that.” He whispered instantly, nothaving to, but I liked that he did.

I d ropped his gaze, focusing on my shaky hands. “So, I eventually found out that one ofmy mom’s old skaters was teachingclasses in the city, so I asked her if I could use the rink, which I could, so long as I paid for the classes. But even with a discount her lessons are still going to cost me something if I want that moment, just me and the rink. So I—”

“Took the cheerleading position.”

“The paid cheerleading position.” Another tiny smile bloomed across my mouth as I lifted my head back to face his. “But I thought it also couldn’t hurt to see how I felt performing again, with eyes on me.”

His smirk tilted higher. “And how did it feel?”

I glanced just past his shoulder, already smiling at the memory—me, dancing like I actually knew what I was doing, like no one was watching. Which, for a few glorious minutes, I’d somehow believed. “Amazing,” I said, sighing the word like it still lived in my chest.

Apparently, so did my leg, because it brushed against his. Accidentally. Just a tiny graze. But we both jumped like we’d touched an electric fence.

I cleared my throat, very casually pretending that hadn’t just happened. “And then,” I added, “one of the reasons I’ve been avoiding that place decided to run into me. So, as great as the dancing was, I don't know whether the run-in's with Ryan or…”

I trailed off, eyes lifting to his. I didn’t say the name. I didn’t have to.

His smile faltered, just slightly. A flush crept into his cheeks, and I knew he knew.

I stood a little straighter, peeling away from the wall. “I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “Maybe that fear wins next week. Maybe it doesn’t.”

I had enough money for a class with Aspen, but what would happen if I lovedit? What would happen if all I wanted to do was skate under her wing? I’d have to stay here, dancing for Ryan and his hidden agendas. I bet he loved it. I bet he got some sort of sick thrill out of watching me second guess whether he’d changed—

“I have an idea.” Finn blurted, earningback my vacant stare.

“What?” The wordstumbled out of my mouth.

His smile was giddy, the kind I'd barely had a chance to memorise. “A proposition really,something that will help both of us.”

It was my turn to knit my brows. “Whaton earth do you need help with?”

He stood taller, squared his shouldersand sighed. “Tu pues le francais etBurton va te décapiter si tu ne te tonifies pas le cul.”

Before I could let effects of Finn speaking french take over my thoughts, I narrowed my eyes. “You reek at Frenchand Burton’s gonna behead you if youdon’t tone up your ass?”

A laugh slipped out as he looked down, grinning wide enough to show off that traitor of a dimple. When he looked at me again, it was with the kind of smile that could cause trouble. “See!” He giggled. “I suck. And I need help, otherwise, Burton will probably behead me, but I was trying to say I’ll be off the team if I don’t get my act together.”

I shook my head. “But I thought—”

“I need a tutor.” His face was sobashful, like admitting this was hurting him. Sure he was smiling but looking deeper it was clear. He wouldn't be telling me if he wasn't desperate. And I had a feeling that he was.

The first night we met, at the freshmanevent, flashed across my mind in a heartbeat.

“You’re studying French?”

“Yeah… yeah, I am.”

“Oh, well, I’m fluent, so if you ever needhelp…”

I had offered to help him.

Why the hell did I offer to help him?

Probably because within a minute ofknowing him you liked him enough to know thatyou’d do anything he asked, you loser.

“Oh.” Was all I could say, not knowinghow or even if I wanted to entertain thissubject. But I was curious. “And if I tutored you, you would…?”

He took a step closer, his featuresimpossible not to trace now. His voice was low as he said, “Get you back out on the ice.”

Before I could even imagine it, he leaned his body closer. “Before you spend your money on classes and privates, why don’t you make sure that it’s something that you’re sure you want. What if you pay for those classes and it’s not what you thought it would feel like?” He gave me a second or two to think that over, and I understood where he was coming from. Throwi ng away money that I could use to, you know, live, would be pointless.

I looked back at him as his mouthparted. “Let me keep you after practice next week. No one will be here apart from us, and you can skate. I’ll even hang out in the changing rooms if you want to be on your own. Or if you love it and you want my help… I’ll be there.” He smiled down at me. “But don’t jump into it head first with everything you have if you aren’t sure, Ror.”

The one-minute buzzer sounded, forcingmy eyes up to the screen above the rink, but if anything it gave me a second to breathe, to think. And one thought came crashing down on me as I twisted my head back to face him. “I appreciate the offer, I do, but I need to get back into delicate skating, figure skating, not sprints and how to nearly kill the other team on the ice without falling on my ass—”

“I used to figure skate.” My brows rose,and my mouth popped open, but before I could say anything, Finn rushed, “I did it for a year when I was seven and I got a bit too into Skating With The Stars, but the point still stands,” He smiled at me. “I can delicate skate if I want to.”

My arms folded around my waist. "Looks like we both kept secrets from each other last year."

His face went still, but that mischievous shade of his eyes glimmered as he knocked his head to the side. "Looks like it."

I let my head fall back, resting it against the concrete I was basically fused to by now, and took a second to process how absolutely ridiculous this conversation was.

Bec ause somehow, I was standing under Finn Rhodes— Finn Rhodes —while he pitched the idea that us helping each other was not only logical, but smart .

I let out a laugh and shook my head, the weight of reality pressing down on my chest, just as tightly as my outfit was. "Okay, and what happens if Ilove being out there? What happens if it makes me feel good?” I shrugged. “I’d still have to come back here and cheer to pay for Aspen’s classes—”

“Let me pay you for tutoring me.”

A cackle fell out of me as I rolled myeyes, my head landing against the concrete. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” He shrugged. “If I hiredsomeone else I’d have to pay them.”

“Because…” The rest of the sentence vanished the second he looked down at me, all the usual mischief wiped clean from his face.

I barely had time to blink before he spoke again, his eyes locking on mine like he already knew the answer I hadn’t said.

“You tutor me,” he said, voice low but certain, “and I’ll get you private ice time, so you don't have to dance for that asshole.”

My mouth opened, then closed. Words failed. Logic short-circuited. My brain was still mid-sprint, trying to catch up with what he’d just said—what he’d offered .

“You’re serious,” I whispered, even though I already knew the answer.

His eyes didn’t leave mine. "Of course,” he said, and this time, there was no shrug. No smirk. Just a promise written across his face like it was already done.

I was in two minds. About everything.

What Finn was saying made sense. Itwas sensible. Throwing all my moneyinto one lesson would be pointless if I wasn’t sure if I’d even enjoy it.Having that moment, just me, without the pressure to enjoy it because of how much I’d spent to be there, in that moment, it made so much sense that I was almost ready to say yes.

But what kept me was what I’d do for him.

I had no problem tutoring. I was fluent.It would be like teaching someone to breathe it came that naturally to me. The problem was being around Finn. Even existing under him now was enough to call myself a hypocrite. And last week? He stormed off and my heart still had the audacity to jump whenever he looked at me.

I promised myself I wouldn’t let him get close enough to hurt me again, just like Ryan.

So why have you never felt safer than where you’re standing right now?

I looked back up at him, the announcer only getting more prominent with histone. I spared a glance over to the timer left on the break, noting that both he and I had thirty seconds to be back in our positions for the third period.

I met his stare again. “Can I think about it?”

He nodded, that bright smile sweepingacross his face. “Of course you can.”He looked over towards the rink, signalling to som eone, probably Jesse from the shadow in my peripheral, that he’d be there in a second, before dropping his stare back onto me. “Do you have my number? In case you make up your mind before I see you next?”

I shook my head. “I don’t have my phone on me, do you?”

He simply smiled at me. “Yes, I always have it on me during games. I just neverknow what pretty girl’s number I’m going to have to take down.”

I knocked my head to the side, ignoring how I could feel my cheeks gettingredder. “I'm starting to remember why you annoy me,” I said as blankly as I could.

He shook his head as his smile turned dopey. “Hey, anything to see you smiling, Ror.” He giggled, but before I could let his words sink in, he shuffled. “Ohwait, actually.” He reached into one of the oversized pockets on his gear, pulling out a pen a second later. He only needed to clock my narrowed eyes before he said, “Sometimes we get the kids from the junior leagues come to the games and ask us to sign things so, I keep it here, just in case.”

Don’t you dare do a flip, heart. I swear to God herself she will shame you foreternity if you do.

“Can I have your hand?”Before I knewwhat was happening, his hand slowly glided under mine, the warmth soothing me in a way it never should have.His palm was soft, holding mine as though it was made of glass.

“Rhodes, get your ass back here!” I turned my head enough to see CoachBurton behind the glass, his face red as a beet.

Finn lifted the hand that had the pen init, not taking his eyes off mine. “Yep, absolutely. I’m heading over right this second.”

I could practically hear the smirk in hisvoice, but all my thoughts faded as Ifelt the pen grace my hand, the sensation making me wriggle.

“Keep still Greene,” he practicallypurred, the pen cap between his teeth.

“Rhodes!” Burton called, but neither ofus paid him any attention.

A second later the feeling faded, and Ilooked down to see Finn’s number written across my hand.

“There.” He said, proud as ever, beforehe stole back my attention. “Think about it, promise me?”

I nodded. “Promise.”

“Rhodes!” Burton yelled.

“God, anyone would think they need meto win or something.” He laughed as he stepped back, and despite everything, a giggle slipped from me too. "Talk soon, okay?"

I swallowed, my breath catching in mythroat. I shouldn’t want this—I knew that. But the girl I was last year took over as I watched him stride away, keeping our eyes locked until the very last second.

Unknown Number

Today at 22:02pm

this might be the wrong number because I sweated a number or two off, but it’s rory.

if that wasn’t already blatantly obvious

unless writing your number on girls hands is something you do multiple times a night then letting you know who i am was useful

sorry i think you’ve got the wrong number. unless you’re looking for the staten island erotica store then how can we help?

oh god no, sorry. i have the wrong number

i’m kidding. it’s finn.

that wasn’t funny

maybe a little funny.

no. it wasn’t.

you’re telling me you didn’t even smirk?

no.

not even now?

will saying yes satisfy your ego?

always

alright fine it was a little funny.

nice to know you’re smiling, greene.for a moment there i thought you weren't capable.

do you want to pass french or not?

oui

anyway, i just wanted to tell you that i accept your offer.

i’m glad to hear it. i’ve got practice tomorrow at four so the rink should be free after six.

unless that’s too soon. take all the time you need.

no, tomorr ow is fine.

see you tomorrow then. text me if you need anything

1. Why did I eat two tubs of caramel corn?

2. Dear Lord!