Page 30

chapter thirty

her and home were starting to feel similar

M ontana always knew how to quiet the chaos in my head. The city had its charms, sure, but New York was constant noise—sirens, car horns, the steady hum of a million lives crammed into one place. Montana was different. It was wide open, calm. The pine trees felt like sentinels, and the mountains stood like guards against the world. Out here, it was just me, the dirt under my boots, and the sky.

Daisy walked a little ahead of me, her blonde hair tied back in a loose braid, held by a red gingham bow. She always said Montana was her anchor too, though she’d never admit it in as many words.

She saved those for her songs.

We didn’t talk much on these walks come to think of it—it was one ofthose unspoken agreements we had. Thanksgiving tradition. Just us, the woods, and the path to Mom's grave.

My eyes were trained on Daisy as she threw herhead over her shoulder, just enough for me to hear her. “What do you miss most about Honeywood when we’re not here?”

Som etimes I forgot how similar our minds were. Whatever was floating around mine was almost exactly floating around hers.

The thought made me smile.

I picked up my pace enough so I was walking beside her, the cuffs of my boots hitting my jeans. “Everything, I guess. Grandpa. The town. Howclear the air is.” My eyes fell to the bouquet of daisies in her hand. “How come?”

I watched her shrug. “I’ve just been thinking about being here. Ever since being back this summer, this is the only place I’ve wanted to be.” She shook her head, brushing some tiny, tight curls from her face before wrapping her free arm over the waistband of her overalls. “I’ve just missed it.”

A corner of my mouth peaked as I stared into thetop of her head. “I would have thought all that band practice would’ve taken your mind off it.”

She turned her head up to me, her brows arched. “We’re called ‘TheBitteroots’ because two out of three of us are from Montana. And Bodhi is barely over the state line into Wyoming. So somehow practice always ends with us talking about home in some way.”

A laugh tumbled out of me. “What is it with this place? It's like there's some kind of magic portal thatjust connects everyone here.”

Her eyes widened, the rays of sun darting betweenthe trees lighting up her face. “Right? It’s like that thing when people say that you’re realistically only two people away from your celebrity crush. Somehow all the people we know have always been a few people away.” Her hand flails. “Well, expect Cora and Tristan. Although I’m sure they’ve probably crossed paths at some point.”

“Probably.”

The early chatter from the crickets took the leadfor a second, as we came out of the woods and down the picket-lined path that led to the cemetery. It wasn’t until the sun went from yellow to golden, when we saw the first row of headstones, that Daisy turned to me.“Speaking of, did you ever ask Rory about that day you thought you saw her?”

I nodded at her, the memory of me finding herthat first day back at Liberty, cursing in French right outside her class, flooding my thoughts. “I did, but she said it wasn’t her.”

But it was. We both knew it.

I’d recognise the way she made my heart beatwhen she looked at me anywhere.

I hadn’t thought to chase her up about it. There were more pressing things to deal with that day. Like that scared, almost lost look in her eye. The cursing.Everything that made her unrecognisable.

My thoughts halt as Daisy smiled up at me. “How are things going withyou two?”

I shrugged, coolness rolling with my shoulders, my face unreadable. But thecool-unreadable plan lasted all of two seconds when I thought of her name, then her smile, and in a matter of milliseconds I was letting my eyes go lazy as I pictured us at the edges of the rink.

“That good, huh?” Daisy chuckled.

I p eered at her in my peripheral, doingeverything but pin down the corner of my mouth she could see. “Things are fine.”

She huffed a laugh as her eyes stared ahead of her. “‘ Fine ’ wasn’t exactly the word that came to mind for me when I saw her with the Lionesses and then stuck to your face fifteen minutes later.” My eyes leapt to her. “But sure, we’ll go with ‘fine’.”

The skin of my bottom lip sank between myteeth, only biting harder to conceal my smile.

God, I was furious when I saw Hatterson's jersey over her body.

Furious was probably the wrong word. Jealousy on crack was more appropriate, come to think of it.

For a second I thought I’d overslept, missed the game and had woken up in some unhinged nightmare. Her grin wasn’t one I’d imagined her ever wearing, and the dare in her eyes was like a siren call, one that made me want to forget everything just to be closer to her. The second I left the ice was when I knew it was real. When I saw the look on Jess’s face as I barged past him, I didn’t think twice about what I was doing. It was like a red mist came over me when I went to find her, only lifting when her mouth was back on mine.

“Okayyy, Finn, back to earth now sweetie.” Daisy’schuckle lifted me out of the rabbit hole I was diving into. Only when my non-hazy eyes were back on her did she smile up at me, the green that was in mine brightening along with it. “I’m happy for you. Really. And her. It’s about time she had things to be happy about, and now she’s got skating, and you.”

“ Yeah,” I sighed. “I’m quite happy too.”

Happy was an understatement. I was goddamnbeaming every time she crossed my mind.

“Just… and I’m saying this from a place of deep, caring devotion for you and her.” Her toned dipped, in a way it rarely did when we talked. “Please don’t let whatever it was that happened last year happen again.” Her eyes traced mine like she knew the exact reason why I’d let Rory go. Like there was a secret tunnel from her thoughts to mine. “I don’t think you need to worry so much anymore.”

Had she said that to me three months ago, Iwould've told her she was crazy. I would've laughed at how impossible not to be so fucking frightened all the time sounded. But the idea of worrying, of going back to that place in my mind where I’d been trapped for so long sounded nothing but ridiculous now.

There was no going back there. I couldn’t. Ididn’t want to. And I knew I never would.

“I promise, I won’t.”

We walked in silence until we reached the last plot. The cemetery wasn’t big, just a small patch of land on the outskirts of town. The headstones were worn but cared for, and someone—Miss Patty, probably, who owned the florist—always made sure there were fresh flowers at least once a month on the headstones that were here.

And sure enough, as we rounded the bend, thereshe was.

Miss Patty knelt by a grave, her thick pink coatwrapped tight against the cold. She placed a small bouquet at the base of the headstone, smoothing the stems with her hands.

“ Afternoon, Patty,” Daisy called out, her voicewarm.

Patty turned, her face lighting up when she saw us. “Oh hey, you two!” She came off her knees, brushing them as she climbed to her five-foot height. “Back for Thanksgiving?”

“Sure are,” I said, tipping my hat at her andmanaging a small smile. “How are things in town?”

“Oh you know, always a drama. Small townstuff, you remember,” she said, stuffing her hands in her pockets, escaping the breeze. Her gaze shifted back to the grave, and she hesitated before speaking again. “It’s why I like coming here. Takes my mind off everything.”

Dais and I shared a glance before smiling, whenmy attention fell to the bouquet she just set down atop the grey headstone she’d stopped at. “That’s a beautiful bunch,” I said, nodding my chin at the white roses.

The sun bounced over her silver hair when she smiled atme, before she carefully leant over and readjusted some of the petals. “Amazes me that nothing has to be done to these flowers to make them look so alive. No matter what time of year, they always seem to bloom just right.” She chuckles to herself. “Almost like they know that where they’re needed could do with a little extra love.”

Daisy walked behind me until she stood byPatty, brushing her arm. “That’s such a lovely thought.”

Patty shrugged, that wry, almost sad smile creasingher face. “Helps me get through stopping by this one. But I’d do it in every lifetime.” She nodded at the grave. “Their baby girl hasn’t lived here since her Momma passed away a few years back, and no w that her Daddy is here I’d happily take this burden from her.” Patty shook her head, in a way that I knew she was probably internally screaming at the world for being so cruel. “But that sweet Rory has the entire town as her family whenever she comes back here. I just hope she knows it.”

As the sun peered out from behind the thick wall of clouds, my stomach dropped as Patty’s voice echoed in my head.

It couldn’t be… my Rory?

My Rory.

Daisy froze next to me, and I glanced down tosee her staring at the headstone. I followed her gaze. “Aurelia Greene and Arnold Greene.” she read aloud, her voice barely above a whisper.

Patty smiled sadly when she caught where we were looking. “They were good people. Loved Rory more than anything.” We both caught the sniffle that left her, and if we’d blinked we would’ve missed the way she swatted her cheeks. “Gets me so angry when I think about how much was taken from that girl.” I looked to Patty, pride weaved between her smile lines. “But she’s strong, though, that one. Brave as anything.” She nodded at us, her smile still intact. “Just like you two rascals.”

I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

“You know Rory?” Daisy asked cautiously, hereyes darting between Patty and me.

Patty chuckled. “Known her since she couldwalk. Her parents owned the cottage on Cotton Drive. She’s sweet as can be. Haven’t seen much of her since she and Arnold moved to New York a fter losing Aurelia, but she was home for the summer. For the funeral.”

I closed my eyes, remembering that day.

God, she looked so sad. So hopeless.So un-like the girl I knew now.

I sucked in a breath before looking back over atPatty, her eyes studying us. “Why do you ask?”

Daisy’s gaze flicked to me, and I knew she couldsee the panic on my face. Before I could stop her, she said, “I live with her. I mean… we met last year at college and we’re… really good friends. Finn’s…” She paused for effect, a wicked grin spreading across her face. “Finn’s in love with her.”

My heart stopped. “Daisy,” Imuttered, nudging her arm.

“What?” she said, rolling her eyes.“It's not like it's a secret.”

Patty looked between us, clearly amused but alsocurious. “You…” The word stumbled out of her as she collected herself, drying the corners of her eyes. “You know Aurora?”

We both nodded.

Her chest sank, a sigh that was coated in reliefmingling with the November breeze. “Wow. Okay.” The sun wasn’t shining nearly as bright as her smile was. “You know, I think that’s the best news I’ve heard all year.” Her head shook. “I’m just happy she has people, friends, and knowing it's you two?” Her eyes rolled gleefully. “I’m going have a good sleep tonight, let me tell you.”

I wondered if Rory knew how much love this townand its people held for her?If she didn’t, then I couldn’t wait to tell her.

As Patty tugged at the seams of her coat, pullingthe pink fabric tighter, she looked at me, her eyes studying me in a way they never had before. Not even when I was seven and she caught me taking a sunflower from one of her displays to take home to Mom. “And whether you’re in love with her or not, that girl has been through a lot. So hurry up and make up your mind, boy.” She took a few paces towards me and placed her palm on my shoulder. “Although, if that dreamy look in your eyes tells me anything, it's that you already have.”

“Oh, he definitely has,” Daisy added.

Patty smiled up a me. “Then tell her.” She took astep back before I could react, craning her neck up to the sky. “Goodness, I better get going before I’m caught in the rain. You kids have a nice visit. And tell Rory I said hello, would you?”

“We will,” Daisy said quickly, tugging on mysleeve. “Come on, Finn.”

We didn’t speak again until we reached Mom’s grave. The headstone was simple—just her name and the dates—but it still hit me like a punch to the gut every time I saw it. And just like the walk here, we rarely saidanything whilst we were here. It didn’t feel needed. We spoke about her enough when we weren’t herethat some odd part of me felt as though she was still around.

It helped that Daisy carried a lot of mom in herself. I saw that even if she didn’t. In the way she spoke to me, in the way she was with her friends. The little details she put into her songs, the lyrics that sounded like something mom would say.Her spirit was alive, and coming here was just areminder that no matter what, it always would be.

“I can’t believe she knows Rory,” Daisy said atlast, her voice soft but laced with a teasing edge that didn’t quite mask the seriousness underneath.

I sighed, dragging a hand through my hair. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“No kidding.” She straightened and perched onthe edge of the wooden bench near the grave, her eyes sharp as they found mine. “So… just to be clear, you’re not in love with Rory? Or you are?”

I groaned, dropping my head back. “Daisy, comeon.”

“What?” She held up her hands, feigninginnocence. “It’s a valid question.”

I sat down beside her, my gaze fixed on the ground. “It’s not that simple.”

She let out a snort, the kind that carried moretruth than humour. “It’s exactly that simple, Finn. Either you’re in love with her, or you’re not.”

“It’s complicated,” I muttered, my voice quieter now, as if saying it too loudly might crack something inside me. “I… I screwed up. I panicked last year. I didn’t know how to handle it, so I ran. Then when she got hurt last month, sure I sat with her in the hospital but before that? Everything in me was screaming to run. Again. And then…” My throat tightened, the weight of everything I’d done—and hadn’t done—pressing down on my chest.

“ Of course I’m in love with her. I knew I couldfall in love with her the second I saw her. But I don’t know if she feels the same. Not anymore.” I turned to her, desperation leaking into my voice. “If someone did that to you—hurt you but then tried like hell to make things right, to prove you’re the only thing that makes them feel whole—what would you do?”

Daisy’s expression softened, before she shrugged. “I could say I’d forgive them in a heartbeat, because I know that’s probably what you want to hear. But the truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know what Rory’s thinking. Yeah, we talk, the girls talk to her, but only she can decide if she’s ready to put her heart on the line again.”

Her words were a blow, and I let out a groan,dropping my elbows to my knees and burying my face in my hands. “You’re right,” I mumbled, my voice muffled but heavy. “That’s not what I wanted to hear.”

Daisy’s hand lingered on my shoulder, her thumbbrushing once against the fabric of my jacket before she pulled it away. “Look,” she said, her tone softer now, like she was letting me off the hook just this once. “If you keep doing what you’re doing—showing her you mean it, proving you’ve changed—I think you’ll be fine, Finn. Rory’s smart. She’ll see it.”

I let her words settle, the knot in my chestloosening just enough to breathe again. Turning to her, I smiled, a faint, longing smile, the kind that carried more memories than I could count. “You remind me of Mom when you talk like this,” I said, my voice quiet but certain. “And that’s a good thing.”

Her face froze for a moment, her lips parting asif she didn’t know how to respond. Then, all at once, tears shimmered in her eyes. She blinked, and a single drop escaped, tracing a line down her cheek.

She laughed softly, brushing it away with the heel of her hand. “Makes up for all the times you’ve been my dad,” she said, her voice trembling with a mix of humour and something deeper. “When mine didn’t remember me.”

The words hit me harder than I expected, a rawache opening in my chest as I stared at her. “Daisy…”

“Don’t,” she said, though her smile was still there, wobbly but real. “It’s fine. You’ve always been there when I needed someone, Finn. That’s what matters.”

I reached over, resting my hand on hers where theylay on the bench. “I didn’t mind, you know. Being there for you. I never minded.”

Her eyes met mine, bright and brimming withunspoken gratitude, and she nodded. “I know. And maybe that’s why you’ll figure this thing with Rory out. You don’t just run when it matters. Not really." She squeezed my hands. "You always come back.”