Page 33

chapter thirty three

je suis tellement amoureux de cette femme

I ’m on a date with Aurora Greene and I feel like the luckiest guy alive.

No, screw that. I am the luckiest guy alive.

Tell Finn from last year that this day was in his future and he’d deny it until he was blue in the face.But there was no denying the feel of Rory’s handin mine. There was no questioning the smile that had been glued to her ever since I told her we were heading for the Wollman rink in Central. And all I was doing was hoping that it would always feel this right with us.

The cold nipped at my face as we laced up ourskates and stepped onto the ice, but her palm warmed mine enough for me to ignore it.

“You ready?” I asked, giving her hand a squeeze.

Rory tilted her head, eyes glinting somethingdaring. “Are you?”

I scoffed, realising that this was how it wasgoing to be tonight. “Please, I could skate circles around you with my eyes closed.”

“ Bold words,” she mused, releasing my hand andgliding ahead with that effortless grace of hers. “But can you do this?”

Before I could reach out for her she was already mid spin. It was tight and clean, her pink scarf trailingbehind her, curls whipping as she tucked her arms in. When she slowed to a stop, she turned back to me, readjusting her ear muffs as her smile lit up with nothing but pure satisfaction.

I exhaled, shaking my head as I skated towardsher. “Do you not remember that I used to do that ? You’d be surprised what sticks after one summer of figure skating camp.”

Her eyes widened. “You weren’t kidding about that?”

I grinned. “Nope. My grandpa thought it would ‘refine my edges.’” I made air quotes, then smirked. “I mostly spent it trying to figure out how to fall convincingly enough to get out of the last half-hour.”

She laughed, shaking her head like she wastrying to picture it. “That explains so much.”

“Right? Now, if you’re done showing off…” I skated back a few paces, rolling my shoulders. “I think it’s my turn.”

“ Oh mon Dieu. ” 1 Her mitten-covered handspalmed her face as she muttered the words, before peeking through her fingers. “Be careful!”

I waited until her eyes were back on me to pushoff hard, picking up speed before dropping into a sharp turn. Those hazy memories came flooding back as I crossed over my skates, the blades almost touching as the spin quickened. And all I thought as the night sky and lights blended into one was what a good decision it was to leave eating until after we’d finished here.

When I skidded to a stop beside her, ice spraying at her skates as I wobbled, she narrowed her eyes, trying and failing to hide her impressed smile.

“Smooth,” she said, tapping her chin. “But no bad.”Her lip quirked. “A little dramatic, though.”

“Dramatic? No. That was precision,” I corrected.

“That was hockey boy nonsense.”

I smirked. “You say nonsense. I say cool partytrick that I knew would get me some girls someday.”

She raised an eyebrow. “ Some girls?”

I met her gaze, steady and sure. “Maybe justone.”

For a moment, neither of us moved. The cold air hung between us, dancing with the laughter from clumsy skates and the scrape of the blades. Then, with a small smile, she pushed off my chest to glide backwards before skating ahead, glancing back just long enough to make sure I was following.

And of course, I was. I’d follow this girl to theends of the earth if that was what it took to see her smile.

She stuck her tongue out at me as she gainedsome speed, waiting until she found an empty patch of the rink before she swung out her leg and glided up into a double axel. At least I think it was an axel. It could have very well been a lutz. But she was so damn hard to focus in front of that doing anything around her, even breathing, felt impossible.

The rink wasn’t as busy as I’d expected for aFriday night, which was perfect. Coming here was an easy decision. Rory deserv ed more than some clichéd dinner-and-a-movie first date. And even though skating was our life, rarely did we ever do it just for fun. And this girl deserved something fun.

And fun means taking me from skating to skate some more? She asked when I told her my plan.

I know what you like, and I know where you feelat home. I’d replied.

All she did then was smile like she’d somehowbeen waiting to hear that.

“Was that fun enough for you?” she asked,slowing to a stop in front of me. She leaned on her toe pick like it was nothing, her eyes gleaming as if she already knew she’d won whatever game we’d started.

“Not bad, Bambi,” I admitted, drawing out thewords like I had all the time in the world. “You’ve got potential. But I think it is crucial I step in. Fun is my middle name.”

“Daisy told me your middle name was Florian.”

I waved her off, licking away my smile.“Okay it might be but tell anyone and we're having words.”

Her laugh echoed like church bells, chiming justright to summon me. “Threatening me with a good time, Florian?”

Mischief lathered my smile as I reached outfor her. “We're having words.”

Fireworks exploded in her eyes as they widened, but I didn’t have long to lose myself in them before she bolted, her giggling floating in her trail. I shot forward, closing the distance, and before she could dodge, I caught her by the waist and spun us both in a circle.

Her shriek was more of a laugh, and hearing itmade my hands grip her tighter, feeling every inch of her wriggling underneath me. It was addictive, how good she felt, how happy she sounded, and how clear it was that the girl I fell in love with last year was finally staring back at me.

“Finn!” She cried, although she’d stoppedfighting my hold.

“What? I promised fun, didn't I?” I grinned downat her as I set her back on the ice, my hands on her waist as I turned her to face me. “I’m just trying to give the lady what she deserves.”

Her cheeks were even redder now, her breathspuffing out in little clouds, but she wasn’t pulling away. If anything, she leaned closer, her eyes softening like she was counting my freckles for a change.

“You’re ridiculous,” she murmured, but hervoice held no bite.

“And yet, here you are.” I grinned, brushing astray strand of hair from her face. “What does that say about you?”

“That I’m not nearly as smart as you think I am.”

I chuckled, leaning in just enough to make her blush deepen. “Or maybe you’re exactly as smart as I think you are, and you knew a date with me would be the most fun you’ve ever had.”

“Still waiting for the fun part,” she shot back,though the smile tugging at her lips said otherwise.

Challenge accepted.

I pushed off the ice and flew past her, lapping therink with her on my tail. I could hear her giggles behind me, and I slowed just enough to let her pass me.

“ Tu patines plut?t délicatement pour un joueurde hockey.” 2 She said as she skated backward in front of me, her movements effortless.

I smirked. “Et tu patines beaucoup plusagressivement qu'un patineur artistique. Les Lions auraient bien besoin de toi, à bien y penser.” 3 My laugh bellowed out of me. “Nous devrions échanger nos places pour la semaine.” 4

Her gasp was every bit dramatic, her hand flyingto her chest like I’d insulted her honour. “I’d do anything to see you squeeze those shoulders into one of my outfits.”

I skated right up to her, closing the space untilthe tips of our skates touched.My hands settled on her waist again, finding their spot and steadying her as I dipped to meet her eyes. “And I’d do anything to see you in my jersey again,”

Those smile lines flattened, just enough tolet me know she wasn’t entirely immune to me. Then she tilted her head, the teasing edge in her tone back in full force. “You’re dangerously close to sounding like a romantic.”

I leaned in, just enough to feel the warmth of herbreath against mine. “What if that’s exactly what I’m trying to be?”

Her star-filled eyes flicked to my lips for thebriefest second, but long enough to make my stomach drop. And if I didn’t have a plan to get in motion, I would have shut out the rest of the world, cupped her face and kissed her.

But, unfortunately, I did have a plan to get to.

I knocked my head over to the side as I took her hand. “Coffee break?”She didn’t say anything, just let her eyes wash over me before nodding. And I couldn’t help but smile.“Come on.”

We skated over to the booth toward to top of therink, a little wooden shack decorated with fairy lights that was barely big enough for the only attendant in there.

“Two lattes please,” I called up to the guy,dressed in tartan with a white woolly hat. He nodded down at me, taking the cash from my hands and busying himself making them.

The longer we waited the faster my heart was beating. And thank God that Rory was so happy to watch the other skaters because if her attention was on me, she would have seen the nerves dripping from me.

Looking at her took my mind off it, only for amoment, but it was enough to catch my breath and remind myself of how badly I needed to do this.

“Here you are.” The guy called sooner than Iwould have liked him to, his gruff voice cutting through the calm.

“Thank you so much!” Rory chirped, takingthe cup from the ledge, not hesitating before lifting it to her lips, and without thinking—because God knows thinking would’ve stopped me—I reached over and snatched it out of her hands.

“ Hey,” she gasped, her voice indignant as shereached for it.

“Patience, Greene,” I said, holding the cup justout of her reach. My grin was probably insufferable, but her reaction made it impossible to care.

She folded her arms, narrowing her eyes at me in a way that always made me feel like she was plotting my demise. “If you’re planning to drink both of those, I swear—”

“I’m not.” I interrupted, handing the cup back toher and holding my breath.

Here goes.

“Just look.”

Her brows furrowed, her confusion so genuine itmade my chest ache a little. But soon enough she looked down, and the moment stretched out, impossibly slow. Her breath hitched, and I swear I could feel the shift, like the air around us had somehow thickened as she read.

The three words I’d scrawled on the lid earliertoday weren’t neat, but they were clear:

Je t’aime.

I love you.

I quickly winked up at Robbie, the guy I’dslipped the lid to this morning, before gazing back at Rory.

She stared at the words for what felt like forever,her fingers tightening slightly around the cup. When she finally looked up at me, her brown eyes were misty, and the sight of her like that nearly had me tugging her into my chest.

“I’ve never seen anyone write on your coffee lidbefore,” I said, my voice soft, careful. Like if I spoke too loudly, I’d ruin the mo ment. “So I thought the first time someone did, it should be worth remembering.”

She blinked, and for a second, I thought she might cry—or maybe that was just me projecting because the corners of my eyes were beginning to sting.

She looked back at the lid, then at me, her glossed lips parting as they trembled.“I… I don’t know what to say,” she finally whispered, her voice barely audible.

“You don’t have to say anything,” I said,stepping closer. My hand lifted on instinct, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her face. “Not if you’re not ready. I just… I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I had to say it before I got in my head and ruined everything. Again.”

I should have looked away. Should have laughed it off. Pretendedlike this wasn’t the most terrifying, gut-wrenching moment of my life. But I couldn't. Because she was standing there, holding my heart in her hands, and I swore I forgot how to breathe.

I was an idiot—no, I was delusional —to think I could survive in a world whereI didn’t get to hear her laugh. Where I didn’t get to watch her scrunch her nose when she was concentrating or roll her eyes when I said something ridiculous just to make her smile. I love her. More than I’ve ever loved anything. I love her so much it hurts—this terrible, beautiful kind of pain that has been eating me alive since the moment I met her.

And now she knows.

“And if I’m being honest,” I added, my voicequieter now, “I think I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you—on the roof, last y ear. I didn’t know it was possible up until that moment to feel so drawn to another person and feel equally as terrified of them. Of what they meant.” My head shook. “That’s why I messed it all up.”

Her gaze held mine, and I felt the weight ofeverything I’d just thrown at her. But instead of pulling away, she stayed, her voice steady as she said, “I forgive you, you know.”

My breath caught. “You do?”

She nodded, her expression soft but sure. “You didn’t want to hurt me, Finn. I know that now. And maybe…” She paused, her lips curving into a faint, bittersweet smile. “Maybe you did it for a reason. Maybe it was supposed to always happen that way.”

“What do you mean?”

Her head dipped. “I would’ve leaned on you completely when my life was crumbling. I know I would.” When her head came back up, that layer of mist was now racing down her cheek. I swatted it away before she could. “And… maybe I needed that space on my own to figure out who I was and where I wanted to go. Without that, I might not have found my way back to skating again.”

She shrugged, her words carrying a kind of quietwisdom that made me want to wrap her up in my arms and never let go. “Maybe this is all happening exactly the way it’s supposed to.”

This woman was pure magic.

I didn’t deserve her, not even close. But as Istood there, watching her hold that stupid coffee cup like it was the most precio us thing in the world, I felt something that burned like hope settle deep in my chest. Maybe, just maybe, I could be enough for her after all.

“Can I kiss you now?” I asked, holding her facein my hands.

“Of course.” She said, her voice low, as she tiltedher head upwards. “Although I’m not promising you that I can only let myself kiss you this time.”

I felt my throat bob, and I had to stop myselffrom tightening my grip on her waist. My eyes fell closed as the hazy image of what could happen ran through my mind, before fell back into those eyes. “Are you sure you know what you’re asking?”

Sultry as I’d ever seen her, her eyes slowlymoved between mine, before lingering over my mouth. Every part of me felt a blaze, burning under her attention. I downright nearly crumbled as her glossy lips parted finally. “I think I’m asking for the man I love to take me back to his place. Please.”

The world faded as I replayed what she’d said.

The man I love.

The. Man. I. Love.

She loves me.

I’m pretty sure the stars could see my smile as itstretched across my mouth, as I slipped my hand into Rory’s and tugged it gently.

“After you.”

1. Oh my God.

2. You skate rather delicately for a hockey player

3. And you skate much more aggressively than a figure skater. The Lions could use you, come to think of it.

4. We should swap places for the week.