Page 31

CHAPTER 31

ROUX

C alculus is difficult to listen to on a good day, but today, I’m really freaking tired. I’ve been really tired for the past week since Alka announced that we’re seeing each other. Jeff has been really shitty. I want to say I’m surprised, but I don’t know that I am. There’ve been comments that I recall now that maybe I should have questioned before.

Yesterday was the worst. The starting line for the scrimmage on Friday was posted, and Jeff isn’t starting. He’s back up. I am starting, which, of course, he had a lot to mutter about.

He stopped passing to me in practice. On the field, he pretends I don’t exist. He doesn’t talk to me in the locker room. I exist there, but his glares and muttered comments make me wish I didn’t.

No one’s been speaking much to me, including Greer and Reeve, though they’re not nearly as hostile. In fact, I think I receive sympathetic looks from both, though neither offer me their support.

Dorian shuts the comments down and calls out anyone glaring at me, but I think he’s doing it because that’s what he’s supposed to do. Not because he wants to or doesn’t feel the same way they do .

I’m not a quitter. I can’t be bullied into leaving the team because some kids are upset. That’s the reason I’m still playing, but honestly, I’m tired. I’m over it. I’m not sure this is worth it in the end. I’m under no delusion that I’m good enough to even be considered for a draft, so I have no intention of pursuing soccer professionally.

So why am I putting myself through this? Does it really matter if I’m the one who quits to make it stop? I promised myself that this year would be different. No Trevor. No looking over my shoulder waiting for him.

Okay, I didn’t predict the reason that this year would be different would be because Trevor’s dead, but still. That still counts for something. And honestly, without all this noise, I’m happy. I have not one boyfriend but two that I’m totally crazy about. We have plans for the future. This isn’t a fling; it’s meaningful!

Why doesn’t that count for something?

My phone pings, and although I try not to take it out when I’m in class, I’ve already missed half the lecture since I’m stuck in my head on this endless loop about what to do with soccer. I pull it out. There’s a notification from the Pride Room app telling me I have a message.

I don’t get a lot of messages. My stomach flips, unsure whether I even want to look. With a huff, I swipe my screen on and open the chat. It’s from Reeve.

Reeve Gupta

Heads up - Jeff is rallying support for his cause to stir up trouble about your relationship.

My stomach falls as I read it. I close my eyes for a minute before typing back a response.

Roux Kipler

What does that mean?

Reeve Gupta

He’s targeting his friends and those he feels are bothered by this news and attempting to sway them with the idea that if they give a united front, then something will be done about it. Petition style, I guess. I don’t know. He approached me earlier, and I told him I want no part of his scheming. I don’t care who you’re sleeping with.

Roux Kipler

Thanks. I appreciate it. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

Reeve Gupta

Don’t be. He’s doubling down because the lineup was released, and he’s convinced it’s not his own shortcomings that have him on the second line.

I don’t answer. I just stare at the screen and spend the last half of the class debating what I’m supposed to do about this. Is there anything I can do? Am I supposed to just let it go? Let them throw their tantrum as Zarek said they were doing.

When class is over, I stop at my dorm to grab my lunch then jog to the athletic building. I shove the doors open and race down the hall until I’m standing in front of Alka’s door, knocking. He answers it a moment later and smiles when he sees me.

His smile drops when he looks at my face. “What’s wrong?”

Alka pulls me into the room and wraps his arms around me. Another set of arms comes around us, and I jerk a little before l realize it’s Oscar. “I didn’t know you were coming,” I say.

“You’re out of class early,” Alka answers. “I was going to text you right before you were released.”

“We were let out early,” I explain and take a step back. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I hand it to him with the conversation with Reeve open .

Alka reads it, a frown forming. When he’s done, he kisses me. “I’ll be right back. You bring your lunch?”

I nod.

“Good. Stay with Oscar. I’ll be back in a minute.” He leaves the room, but he doesn’t go far. I hear his knock on Coach Harper’s door, but his voice is muffled.

Oscar takes my hand and brings me to the desk where their lunches are laid out. “How was class?” he asks as I take the third chair that’s already waiting there for me.

It makes me smile. “I don’t know. I zoned out for nearly the entire thing.”

He chuckles. “Hopefully, it’s an easy one to catch up on.”

“Calculus,” I say, making a face that has him grinning again. “Not easy but I’ll manage. I hate having to take classes I have no use for.”

“How do you know you have no use for them?” he counters.

“I’m not going to be a mathematician. I get that you use math and mathematical principles in a lot of careers, but I’ll have the internet, a calculator in my pocket, and I can phone a friend if I need help. Mark my words, I’m not going to remember this a year from now,” I argue.

Oscar laughs. “I get it. I couldn’t help you there if you needed it, and I took three years of calculus.”

“Why?”

He shrugs. “Once, I thought I’d go into scientific research. I like the idea of experiments and finding answers and stuff. But…” He shrugs again.

“You have more fun with your dick out?” I ask, trying to keep a straight face and failing.

Oscar laughs. “To be honest, I don’t know why I stopped pursuing it. I got a Bachelor of Science degree, but then… I just stopped looking to further it. I’m not sure I even tried looking for a career with it.”

“How’d you get into content creation? ”

He grins. “Believe it or not, it’s because of science. I had this idea to make science sexy. Study with my shirt off or while I was exercising, a lecture playing in the background. I recorded some experiments in a jock strap. That kind of thing. Then…” Oscar stops to think about it as he takes a bite of his sandwich. “I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how it got into the adult content nor how it shifted to what my brand is now. Natural progression, I suppose.”

“Huh. That’s kind of cool.”

Oscar nods. “I haven’t thought about it in a while. I kind of miss science now that I’m thinking about it.”

“You can always introduce it again.”

“Mmm,” he hums.

Alka returns, shutting the door behind him. He hands my phone back and kisses the top of my head. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

I huff as I dig into my lunch box. I think Oscar packs enough for three people in one box. There’s a lot of food that I definitely don’t make it through in a day. He says he just wants me to have options.

“That’ll be easy.”

“We’re going to address it without being specific.”

I sigh. Great. “How long has it been since you were a kid, Alka?”

Both men laugh at me. “What?” Alka asks.

“When the teachers get involved, it makes the situation worse,” I point out. “Just let it be. What’re they going to do?”

Alka shakes his head. He doesn’t answer as he returns to his meal, and we eat in silence for a long time before he sighs. “I hate that you’re dealing with this,” he says at last.

I nod. “It’ll pass.”

“Let’s talk about something else,” Oscar says.

“Let’s get back to your birthday,” Alka says. I grin. “Are you opposed to a party?”

“No,” Oscar answers. “Though I’d be just as happy with simply having our friends over for dinner. Happier still if I can spend the day with my two favorite men.”

“We’re definitely doing that,” Alka says. “Forty is a big year. I want to do something special.”

“I realize how corny this is even before I say it, but I’m going to risk it. Every day with you is special.” He looks between us, including me in his corniness. I grin and take another bite of sandwich.

“Yep, that’s corny,” Alka says. “I’m not saying I disagree, but we’re trying to teach here, Oz. Keep those gross sentiments as inside thoughts.”

I laugh.

There’s a knock on the door, and Alka gets up to answer it. My muscles tense when I see Jeff outside the door. He immediately meets my eyes, and I don’t miss the bitterness in his expression. He’s joined by three others, thankfully none that I thought were friends.

“What’s up, Doherty?” Alka asks.

“I’m sorry to interrupt lunch,” he says, “but we’re really uncomfortable with what’s going on. I know you said Kipler isn’t going to receive special treatment, but it really feels like he is. I’m not the only one who thinks so.” Jeff makes a very pointed look at me as if he’s proving a point.

“Yeah? Right now, my boyfriend, husband, and I are talking about ideas for my husband’s birthday. Do you need to be involved in that?”

Jeff shifts uncomfortably. “No, Coach.”

“After we made a decision on that, I was going to bring up dinner. There’s a new place on Hemlock that I’ve been meaning to suggest. Do you need to be involved in that because Roux is?” Alka asks.

Jeff presses his lips together.

One of the guys behind him says, “It’s really, really good.” His voice is quiet.

“Noted. Then that’s where we’re going for dinner. Does it make you feel better about the situation now that you’ve been involved in that discussion?”

“No,” Jeff grits out.

“We were talking about my degree in science,” Oscar says. “I can give you a recap if you’d like.”

“No, thank you,” Jeff mutters.

“After we have lunch together as a family, Oscar’s going home, Roux will go to class, and I’m going to be studying videos of our games against Martinview California from last year. Would you like to be included in any of those activities?”

This time, no one answers. I turn away to take a bite of my sandwich in an attempt to hide my amusement.

“What do you hope to accomplish, Jeff? The only outcome that this show of defiance is going to get is that I’ll step down as coach until Roux graduates, but it seems to me that what you’re actually hoping to accomplish is to have Roux removed from the team. Is that it?” Alka says.

Jeff doesn’t answer. He determinedly doesn’t look at me.

“No…” one of the other guys says, though he doesn’t sound so sure.

“You’re all on second line, no?” There’s some uncomfortable shifting in response. “Seems to me like you want to be rewarded for not busting your ass like those who made the starting line, but instead of doing so, you’re looking for an easy way out. So let me assure you that even if you got your way , none of you would take Roux’s spot. I’d make sure of that.”

“You can’t do that,” Jeff says.

“You’re pretty insistent that I made the list, so why can’t I? You can’t have it both ways. Either you believe I influenced the list and put Roux starting, or you know I didn’t so I can’t determine who gets put into this hypothetical opening.”

Again, no answer.

“You can stop this now,” Alka says. “I’ve had enough of this bullshit. Dr. Weaver’s right; you’re adults. Stop acting like children who didn’t get picked first for a team. ”

“Sorry, Coach,” the one who gave us the dinner rec says.

I watch them leave. Alka shuts the door a little harder than necessary, and he doesn’t say anything as he retakes his seat. The remainder of lunch is quiet. We talk, but there’s a subdued atmosphere now.

We share a three-way kiss that ends in me laughing because it always does, and I walk out with Oscar. I don’t walk him to staff parking, where he has to park because his vehicle has a sticker so Alka can drive it if he needs to.

I don’t have a class right now, so I call my brother and word vomit everything that’s going on. When I got back from Kala and saw that I was accepted to RDU, our sole focus was getting everything in order—changing my student loan awards, getting my books, shopping for what I’d need.

It was a constant go, go, go. We talked about Kala, but it was in passing. Abstract. I didn’t have a chance to tell him about Alka and Oscar, so I begin with that then plow straight onto what’s happening right now.

When I’m caught up, including the situation ten minutes ago with Jeff and his band of baboons at the door, I take a breath. “I don’t know what to do. Suggestions?”

“I don’t think you’re going to like my suggestion.”

“I’m not going to stop seeing them.”

“No,” Lix says. “Not even in my top ten ideas.”

I sigh. “Then what?”

“I think you need to do exactly what you’re doing.”

“But… I’m not doing anything.”

“Exactly. You’re going to hate this comparison, but sometimes a kid needs to let adults handle it. In this case, you’re not the person with power. That’s Alka. It’s up to him to navigate and mitigate. You need to continue to give your game every ounce of energy you have and not engage with them.”

I groan. “That’s crap.”

Lix laughs. “It is. I agree.”

“It’ll be easier if I just?— ”

“You’re not quitting, Roux. You deserve that spot. You earned it. Keep it and prove to the haters that you won it on your own skills and don’t need the competition to be taken out in order to achieve it.”

I smile. “Thanks, Lix.”

“Of course. For future reference, when I ask you what you did over summer, getting two boyfriends seems like something you could mention.”

I laugh. “I know. I wanted to. But I didn’t think we had time to talk since we ran around for four days, and… I’m sorry. Believe me, I’ve wanted to tell you.”

“How are you doing with Trevor’s murder?”

“I think I was freaked out all the more because the police came here to question me. I’m not sure if they were looking at me as a suspect, but… Maybe I’m a bad person, but I’m glad he’s dead.”

“You’re not a bad person, Roux. I’m glad he’s dead too. I’d go so far as to say he deserved far worse than he got.”

“Maybe, but I’m just glad he’s gone.”

“I’m glad you’ve made peace with it. I worry about you.”

I grin. “Of course you do.”

He pffts.

“Lix?”

“What, brat?”

“Thanks for worrying about me.”

He sighs. “Always.”