Page 22

CHAPTER 22

OSCAR

T here are days when I’d love to be able to just hang out with my husband. Nothing else. Especially since I’m so distracted by my phone. Not that I’m getting a lot of messages or calls, but because Alka’s at school and Ruby is moving into his dorm at Longwood and I’m… sitting at home being easily distracted.

It’s not like I don’t have enough to distract me. I have plenty to do. But I really want to be with my husband and our boyfriend right now.

I intended to have a few collabs while on Kala, but I only ended up getting with Ono. When Ruby showed up in our lives, work seemed to become non-existent. Completely and utterly unimportant. Still, I have a folder Ono shared with me containing all the videos we filmed.

Sitting on the couch with laptop in hand, I pull up the first one and hit play. I try not to let the videos I film feel forced, which means I don’t get on board with trends or gimmicks like wearing a superhero bodysuit or… being a delivery guy and the guy who’s unable to pay.

That’s fun and all, but I try to make it authentic. That means most of my videos start out with us talking. Any conversation at all. Because we both know why we’re there, it’s not difficult to plan a way for it to lead into sexy talk.

Sometimes, we talk about what we specifically want to do, like a new thing for one of us. We talk about limits and consent. Sometimes, consent comes when we’re beginning to get busy. I always check in throughout fucking my partners.

There’s been very few instances in my long history of filming porn where someone’s complained about the constant check-ins. One fan even said that it takes them out of the moment. I didn’t even get a chance to respond before there were more than a dozen replies back to them, and they weren’t nice.

There’s an issue with YOU if you have an issue with consent.

I’m concerned about your own sexual behaviors.

Consent is sexy, and if you don’t think so, I pray that you remain close with your hand alone.

There are other models in the industry who I won’t work with because they refuse my particular brand of consent. Quite frankly, I’d warn everyone off from them if that’s the case. Someone who doesn’t understand the importance of communication before, during, and every fucking time should not be filming anything. That’s the wrong example we want in the world.

However, as I glance down at the screen, I realize that I’ve already lost ten minutes staring into the backyard at nothing, musing about my brand. Ruby is only half the distraction. Now that we’re home, Alka’s already chosen which guest room will be the first converted into a nursery if we can’t find the perfect family house before our family grows. Which means we’re beginning our research into parenting options.

All that to say I’m back to questioning my career options. I’m not ashamed of what I do at all. I love my job, though not necessarily because of the orgasms. I have a sexy fucking husband to get those with. But my brand is important. I’m proving to the world that consent is important. I’m showing people that when someone says no or that they need to stop, that’s what you do—without getting mad.

I’m also showing that no doesn’t always mean your partner wants to stop entirely. It means there’s something very specific about what’s happening they don’t like. Conversation during sex, even a serious conversation like this, can still be sexy.

That’s important to me. That message needs to be clear.

I’ve seen a recent uptick in reels teasing upcoming videos, and so many are using sexy banter that contains a moment of consent. The more we normalize it, the more naturally it’s going to come. The more people are going to not think twice and just do it.

I don’t want to give that up. This is important to me. My method is working.

The problem is, how do I keep it going while moving away from adult videos and still keep the conversation rolling without simply becoming an advocate? Yes, the conversation all around is important, but seeing it in action is 100% different than listening to someone spewing facts at you.

But do I want to continue this while raising a family?

I hit the spacebar to pause the video since I’m not watching it anyway. My fingers tap on the keys absently. Not hard enough to make anything happen, just a thoughtful taptaptap, taptaptap. What else can I do?

Picking up my phone, I scroll through the messaging app until I find my conversation with Collin Fox. The man may be half my age, but I always get some good insight from him. Hmm. He’s the same age as Roux. Or damn near close.

Honey Sin

Hey. What do you have going on this week ?

I hear the blip letting me know he’s opened the message, so I wait until he answers.

Collin Fox

Not a lot. You want to film?

Honey Sin

Actually, I need to brainstorm, but we can film too.

After I send the last message, I decide that maybe that’s not the right decision. Maybe I need to talk to Ruby first. I know he said he doesn’t care that I film adult content, but that discussion was before I started to get involved with him.

Honey Sin

On second thought, how about just some new thirst traps? I can explain why if you’re down to get together and chat.

Collin Fox

Oh, weird! Yes, that’s cool. Here or there?

I wave my head back and forth to weigh our options. I think the last time we filmed, we did so here.

Honey Sin

Your place, if that’s cool.

Collin Fox

Totally. I just got some new furniture upstairs to make it a swanky office. We can also brainstorm how to use it.

Honey Sin

Cool. How about Thursday? Mid-morning?

Collin Fox

Sounds good. See you then. Bring some food or beverages that one might bring to a swanky office. Oh… You can be my sexy older assistant. Bring coffee and pastries. We can tease with them while we chat.

I chuckle.

Honey Sin

Will do. Thanks.

He gives me a thumbs up in response. I feel better about this, like I have a direction. Putting my phone down, I turn back to my laptop and start the video over. Ono’s a good-looking guy. It’s amusing that so many think he’s older than me. I think it’s the dark hair and how he has rough-looking, careless facial hair. It’s reminiscent of a certain Stars Hollow coffee shop owner.

I smirk as I hit play again.

My phone dings, and I immediately reach for it. Then roll my eyes because I’m being absolutely ridiculous and force myself to calm the fuck down. I tap my screen and find a notification from Alka. Clicking on it, the words confuse me.

Alka

Ruby’s here!

What does that mean? Our first visit isn’t for a couple weeks yet.

Me

What?

I don’t receive an answer. I’m on the verge of calling him when the front door opens, and my husband comes in. He’s in front of me as soon as I’m on my feet, wrapping his arms around me.

“What does that mean?” I ask, hugging him tightly. His heart is racing. I can feel it drumming frantically against mine .

“He’s here. On my team. Obviously, we haven’t had a chance to talk about how this happened and managed to blindside us all yet.”

“Where is he? You didn’t bring him home?”

Alka smiles. “Trust me, that was my first choice, but his brother’s here so they’re having dinner.”

I groan, scowling. He grins. “I know. Also, it’s really cute seeing you impatient to see someone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like that.”

My scowl fades as I look at him. “I guess it’s a little weird, huh?”

“No, I didn’t say weird; I said cute. I really kinda love this. And I definitely love sharing the experience of falling for the same man with you. Like… It’s just one more thing we share. Something else we can love each other for.”

I rest my forehead against his. “Yeah?”

His head moves against mine, a nod without full-on nodding. “It’s… exhilarating. It feels so good to share this with you.”

“It does,” I agree. “I think maybe a little weird too. I’ve mused a lot over the last week about why it happened. Maybe it’s circumstances—the environment and commitments allowed both of us to spend time with Ruby together instead of you seeing him separately. But maybe it’s just Ruby himself. Maybe it’s because I can feel how differently this one feels to you .”

“His name is Roux,” he says.

My eyebrows knit. “What?”

Alka grins. “Yep. I’m going to assume he gave us a nickname. He figured out what was happening literally minutes before it happened. He called me, but I had to tell him we couldn’t talk because I was almost in front of my team . He asked me my name and where I worked. In return, he told me his name. When I tell you it was only two minutes after he said his name that I read it on my roster, I mean it. The team thinks I’ve lost my mind with the way I just stared at him.”

I laugh. “Poor team. ”

“Poor team.” He snorts, then nods. “Yeah, maybe. I gave them over to Harper. She’s more hardcore than I am.”

She is.

Alka’s phone rings, and he takes a step back. I hear his breath as he looks at me, and I know it’s Ruby. Uh… Roux.

He puts the phone on speaker and answers. “Dinner already finished?”

“No,” Ruby answers. “Noah just finished his game in Texas, so Lix is talking to him. My options were to sit here, impatiently thinking about you, or calling. Where’s Oscar?”

I grin. “Right here, Ruby. Alka says you’re here?”

He sighs. “Okay, so here’s where I think we got confused. One, my name is Roux. I was hesitant to give my real name on Kala. Stranger danger and all that. Also, I’m a little cautious when giving my name since my ex, so I went with something that sounds enough like Roux that I’d at least turn to see who spoke as opposed to saying my name is Sam or Adam, which I’d have ignored entirely because that’s not my name.”

I’m still grinning. I can’t help it.

“Makes sense,” Alka says. “It’s going to take some time to not call you Ruby.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind it at all.”

“I really like Roux, though,” I say. “It’s a nice name.”

I hear his smile now. “Thank you. Okay, I don’t know how long he’ll talk to Noah, so two, when Alka asked me where I went to school after I said I was transferring, I answered with the truth. At the time, I was currently enrolled at Longwood U. Maybe I should have added on that I was trying to transfer from Longwood U. If anything, that would have at least prompted the question as to where I was hoping to go. Rainbow Dorset. The signs were there. We just didn’t ask the right questions, I guess.”

“To be fair, knowing your full name wasn’t going to make me realize sooner,” Alka says. “I let Harper handle all recruiting. Full disclosure—when I pulled up the roster in front of the team, that was the first time I was looking at it. ”

Ruby laughs. “Yeah?”

“Yep. Just think. If I’d looked at it on the plane when I opened the damn email, we’d have known a week ago.”

“Serves you right for not being a responsible coach and learning your athletes’ names,” I tease.

Alka huffs. “For real.”

Hearing Ruby laugh settles something inside me. I sigh. He’s so fucking close. It’s maddening that he’s not right here in front of us where we can hold him between us. I can’t wait for him to have a place in our home.

“So… We should also talk about the reality of this situation,” Alka says. “You’re my athlete. On my team.”

“I know. I’ll quit soccer,” Ruby says.

“No,” Alka and I say together.

Ruby laughs.

“We need to talk about this,” Alka insists, “but do not quit soccer. We’ll figure it out.”

“How? Isn’t dating a student against the rules?”

“Oh, probably. But quitting soccer doesn’t suddenly make you on limits. You’re still a student here.”

“I… Well, that’s fucking stupid.”

Alka and I grin at each other.

“So now what? I’m here, yet we can’t be together?”

“We can be together, but until I figure out how to make this work logistically, we’re going to have to see each other on the down low.”

“Pretending I’m a gay man pretending I’m a straight man and sneaking around with guys. Got it.”

We laugh. Fuck, I’ve missed this man. How can it have only been a week?

“We’ll figure it out,” I assure him. “Promise.”

“Soon,” he says, sighing.

Alka and I hold each other’s stares. “Soon,” we repeat.

“Also, tomorrow, you’re coming over,” I say. “I’m going to need to hold you for a while. ”

Ruby sighs. “Done. I don’t have a vehicle here. How far away do you live?”

“We have an extra,” I say. “And all of our vehicles have RDU stickers on them since Alka takes different vehicles depending on the day and what he needs to cart around. You can borrow one. I’ll add you to our insurance.”

“We can talk about that later. Lix is coming. I’ll call you when I get back.”

“We’re really fucking happy you’re here, Ruby,” Alka says.

“Me too,” he agrees. “I’ll call you soon.”

“Soon,” we repeat.

The phone call ends with his quiet laughter. I exhale and close my eyes. “It feels really unfair that he’s so close, but we have a whole bunch of obstacles still in the way,” I complain.

“Yeah, I know, but this is different. He’s here , and that’s the most important. Everything else will fall into place. Even if that means I go out on sabbatical for a couple years until he graduates,” Alka says. “Or step down as coach until he graduates. I don’t know, but either way, he’s here. That’s the most important thing.”

I nod. Definitely. Everything will work out.