Page 30

CHAPTER 30

ROUX

I ’m trying not to look suspiciously nervous. I understand the reasons Alka wants to be honest with the team, and I don’t even disagree. Honestly, I think he’s right, but I haven’t been here long enough to make a guess as to how the team will take it. I’d like to say the guys that I talk to the most—Jeff Doherty, Greer Ikaika, and Reeve Gupta—will all be cool with it.

Alka has stepped back and let our assistant coach take over a lot of coaching aspects lately. I get why, but I’ve been hearing grumbles about how they miss Coach coaching. I think Harper’s doing a good job. I haven’t even heard complaints about her taking the lead. They just miss Alka’s coaching.

That’s the part I’m most worried about. They’ll know I’m the reason he took a step back. Are they going to resent me for it?

“Hey,” Greer says, stopping beside me as he pulls his shirt over his head. I glance his way while taking a drink of water. Maybe that’ll mask any signs of my nerves.

He meets my eyes when he has his shirt down. “Your roommate seeing anyone?”

Okay, not what I was expecting. “Booker?”

“Do you have another roommate?” Jeff teases from behind me .

“No. Sorry. I didn’t know you knew my roommate.”

“We have a class together,” Greer says. “When I said something about soccer, he said his roommate was on the team, and ta da! Connection made.”

I smile. “I see. I don’t know if he’s seeing someone. Sorry.”

“Really? You sleep there, don’t you?” Jeff asks.

Is it me or does that question hint at knowing something? Not that it matters. I rarely spend the night at Alka and Oscar’s.

“Yeah. I guess I’ve never seen him bring anyone around, but I don’t ask where he’s going every time he leaves either.”

“Has he mentioned anyone?” Reeve asks, dropping onto the bench beside me to tie his laces.

“Just so I’m clear, are you all interested in Booker? I can put in a good word for all of you,” I say, raising an eyebrow.

Reeve laughs. “No. I’m just inserting myself into the conversation.”

“I’m not sharing that fine ass,” Greer says, shaking his head.

I snort. “I don’t know, dude. Why don’t you message him and find out? I do know that he’s on the app somewhat frequently. He’s always showing me pictures that people are posting.”

“Huh.”

The school’s app is pretty cool. It’s image-based like ShareIt, but there’s also an option for a longer caption like Spectrum. Unlike both those apps, there aren’t bots taking down posts and flagging accounts for stupid shit all over the place. It’s also not prude-ish and homophobic.

It’s also like Click Drip where you can post dirty images but without all the radical assholes dropping in to bully you. Click Drip’s terms of service might be non-existent, but that also means they don’t police the hate.

The Pride Room app is a combination of all three of the public platforms, but you can’t make your account. Admin does it for you, so there are some things you can’t change at all, like your name, age, status (staff, student, alumni), access, and if you click on someone’s profile, you can also see their student ID image even if it’s different than the one they’re using for their profile pic.

We can post whatever we want as long as it’s not hateful, bullying, phobic of any kind, or anything along those lines. I don’t know what the punishment would be, but the warning says it’s “harsh.” It’s monitored by IT—real people whose job is to monitor the app.

When I saw my first dick pic in my feed, my first thought was that someone in IT sits there and looks at dick pics all day. I wonder if they enjoy that. Is this their dream job?

“Maybe I will,” Greer says.

I close my locker once I’m finished lacing up and head out with my friends. Alka plans to make his announcement right before practice. I thought he should wait until after, but he wanted to get it out of the way. He wants to tell them now since we have a scrimmage next week. He wants them to have plenty of time to sit with this information and work through whatever might be bothering them about it.

“Mm, mm, mmm,” Greer mumbles beside me. A glance at him shows that he’s looking at Alka. I’m going to have to ask Alka if he ever notices the way some of his team looks at him.

I try to hide my smile as I look at the grass.

We join our team, gathered around Alka. Declan’s with him, as is Harper. There are a couple other guys sitting on the bench too, but I don’t know who they are. My heart skips when Oscar comes around the bleachers. He flashes me a smile and stops at Alka’s side to give him a quick kiss before joining the men on the bench, whom he seems to know.

“I still can’t believe he’s married to a porn star,” Reeve says.

“I can’t believe there’s a porn star here to watch our practice,” Jeff comments.

“Who else could possibly be good enough for hot Alka than a porn star?” Greer says.

I shake my head. Yeah, this is going to go over well .

“This everyone?” Alka asks as he looks at all our faces. His eyes stop on mine for a second longer, and I see his lips twitch a little. After that first day when he looked at me like I was a ghost, he’s been very careful to keep his expressions as neutral toward me as they are toward everyone else.

I’m not entirely convinced he succeeds since it feels like he’s always smiling at me.

“Yes, Coach,” someone says. I think it’s our captain, Dorian Rutland.

“Good. Take a knee.”

We get down on one knee to listen.

Alka takes a breath. “There’s something we need to talk about before practice. I’m going to ask that you listen with an open mind, hear what I’m telling you, and trust me. Okay?”

There’s a chorus of agreement and heads nodding. I choose not to speak but nod my head. His eyes meet mine for a second.

“In our favorite sappy feel-good movies, there’s always a serendipitous meet cute. Right? You run into someone who makes your entire life explode like fireworks. And in the ones with a twist, when your fling is over and you’re left pining, that person shows up again as your boss at a new job or your new neighbor who’s running from the law or in witness protection. You feel me?”

“Did you fall in love with a murderer?” someone asks. Snickers and quiet laughter flutter through the team.

Alka smiles. “Not this time, but thank you for your confidence in my judgment of character.”

“Oh no. I have read a lot of prison romances, and they are H O T! Go get ‘em, Coach.”

More laughter.

“Yeah, okay. No on that. But thanks for… whatever that was. However, yes, I did meet someone, and true to fashion, they unexpectedly showed up again in my life.”

Beside me, Greer sighs. I can only imagine that he’s disappointed it wasn’t him. How upset is he going to be that it’s me?

“I’m going to begin by telling you a few facts about this. One, he’s a student here. Two, he applied for a transfer before we met. Three, we met on Kala, and while we spent five wonderful weeks together getting to know each other, the three of us—” He glances back at Oscar, making sure the team knows who he’s talking about. “We realized far too late, literally right before running into each other on campus, that we left out some key information. Like where he was transferring. Where I worked. I’m not sure if we were just too caught up in each other or thought we’d already given that information, but it was an accidental oversight.”

“He’s on the team, isn’t he?” someone to the left asks.

My heart jumps into my throat. I definitely don’t imagine a few people looking in my direction. I try to keep a passive expression, but I’m not sure I manage. I think I can feel the color draining from my face.

“He is,” Alka confirms. Murmurs break out as everyone looks at each other. This time, I know there are guys looking in my direction. No one forgot the first day of practice. I take a breath and hold it. “Once I realized it, I took a step back from my responsibilities and asked Coach Harper to step up instead. I think I’m a fair coach, but every year, I have favorites.”

There’s a gasp of mock horror.

“Yes, I choose my favorite kid every year,” Alka says, smirking, “but I never let that sway my judgment. We’re here to win. To grow as individual players and as a team. I always look at each and every one of you through that lens. I know this is a different situation, and even if I promise you that’s not what I’m going to do, I don’t blame you for innately feeling that way at times. That’s why I’ve pulled myself from all decision-making responsibilities as far as who plays when and where and all that concerned.” He waves his hand.

“It’s Roux, isn’t it?” Dorian asks .

I wince when the entire team looks at me. Do I have a guilty look?

I meet Alka’s eyes, but he doesn’t answer. He’s giving me the option to give myself up—a little late not to at this point—or just let the team know that he has a boyfriend on the team.

Taking a breath, I nod. “Yes. Me.”

There are a few whistles amongst the team. A couple loud whoops . But I also don’t miss the irritated glances, the glares, or the way Jeff is looking at me like I just kicked his puppy.

Great.

“I’m going to reiterate that I’ve removed myself from being in any position to make biased decisions since the moment I realized what happened,” Alka reminds us. “Coach Harper is in charge.”

“But you’re still coach,” someone says. “That means you have the veto power.”

“Would it make you feel better if I stepped down entirely?” Alka asks.

“No,” one of the men on the bench says. He’s the shortest of the three there by far. He’s wearing a white tee, pearls, and glasses. He gets to his feet and looks at the team with a very mean mug. “What’s going to happen is you’re going to be adults about this and not throw a tantrum. I’m already seeing a lot of disgusting behavior in response, and you know what that says? You’re afraid of your own lack of skill and are going to use this as a reason you’re not earning the spot you want.”

“Zarek,” the blond man says, joining him. He places his hand on Zarek’s arm, but Zarek pulls it away.

“You’re adults now. Act like it. You want to start the game as a poletender, then fucking work your ass off and earn that position,” Zarek demands.

“You know that’s not a position,” Alka says as a couple guys groan in embarrassment. “Thank you for your support, but if there’s a problem?— ”

“There’s not, Coach,” Dorian says as he gets to his feet and looks at the team. “Is there?”

I’m glad when I see three quarters of the team agreeing with him. I’m disheartened and a little hurt when I see one of the guys not agreeing is Jeff.

“Alright,” Alka says, clapping his hands together. “If you have more questions, you can talk to me after. Let’s get to practice.”

Harper steps forward and begins instructing us in what she wants.

“Names A through K, weak foot familiarization. The rest of you, offset cone shuffle,” Coach Harper says as Alka sits on the bench with the guys who came to support him.

That’s unfortunate. Jeff continues to glare at me as we move onto the field in the same direction. Reeve falls in stride beside me while Greer runs off ahead without looking at me. Great.

“That was a surprise,” Reeve says, eyeing me.

I sigh. “You understand why I didn’t say something, right?”

“Oh definitely.” We stop just beyond the step ladders to grab a couple balls.

We head for the edge of the field and begin juggling, incorporating our less dominant feet into the mix. I appreciate Reeve sticking by me, even if we don’t speak for a while. Juggling was always one of my favorite things to practice as a kid. It was fun trying to keep it in the air, so I’m already decently good with my left foot.

This time, when I feel I’m being watched, it’s not just from the bench where Alka is. I glance up and don’t have to look far to see Jeff scowling at me. He turns away, and I roll my eyes.

I didn’t think he’d be upset. I mean, why would he be?

“He’ll get over it,” Reeve says, as if he’s reading my mind.

“You think so?”

“I bet he doesn’t even know why he’s mad.”

Greer glances at me. I’m relieved when he offers me a smile, though he turns his attention away from me almost right away. “What about Greer?”

“I’m sure he’s just jealous that you’re sleeping with the hot coach,” Reeve says, amused. “He will get over it. Probably pretty quickly. I’m sure if Booker responds to his message, it’ll distract him and he’ll forget about it.”

I sigh. “I didn’t think either of them would respond like that,” I say. “Not that Greer had much of a response, but it’s definitely not typical that he runs by without looking at me.”

“If they want to be babies, let them. You still have the hot coach .”

I laugh and glance in Alka’s direction. I don’t watch him for long though. One, because I miss the ball and have to track it down again while Reeve laughs. And two, the more I look at Alka, the more Jeff glares at me.

He’s surrounded by a couple others, and none of them look very happy. In fact, now that I’m looking, they’re all glaring at me.

This is going to be a very long year.