Page 13

CHAPTER 13

ROUX

I run down the path, careful to avoid everyone in front of me. I’m not exactly late, but I think I’m going to be. When I get to the tech hut, I shove the door open. It slams into someone then hits me. Since my hands are already in front of me on the door, I’m only knocked backward rather than getting the door in my face.

“I’m so sorry,” I say, righting myself as the man I just hit opens the door. “Sorry. I’m sorry.”

The man chuckles. “It’s fine. I’m glad I was wearing shoes today.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I swear I’ll slow down and not kill someone with the door.”

He gives me an amused smile. “You okay?”

I nod. “Yeah. Just in a hurry.” I use that as an excuse to slip by him.

“You look stressed. Can I?—”

“Nope. I’m fine,” I interrupt and hurry into the first open compartment to shut the door behind me. I nearly forgot that all greetings come with an offer to suck dick. I guess that’s what happens when you spend most of your spare time with someone .

A smile climbs, and I’m glad that I can’t actually speak to anyone, or they’d hear my cheesy grin in my tone and ask questions. I glance at the phone. Okay, I can technically make a call and there’s probably windowless rooms here where I can set up a video call, but I’m not going to.

It’s been nearly two weeks since I checked in with my brother, and I’m feeling a little shitty and irresponsible about it. I press my bracelet against the scanner until it makes a beep, and the computer comes to life. My name flashes across the screen, letting me know my activity has been recorded.

I really appreciate the simplicity of life with this magic bracelet. If it can completely navigate life on this island, I wonder why we don’t have them in the, uh… real world? This is the real world, so that doesn’t truly explain what I mean.

I suppose the conspiracy theorists would complain that it’s too much control. That we’re walking around with a chip tied to us like dogs. And yet, there are hundreds of people on these six islands who don’t seem upset about it at all. I’m sure if I read the fine print, I’d see that there is GPS in the bracelets in case someone needs us, but I’m not even upset about it. If something happened to my brother or someone else in my family, I’d want there to be a way to track me down.

I’m not paranoid that the government is watching me. Fucking watch me. I’m leading a boring ass life, so it’s only going to put them to sleep. The self-importance some people have never ceases to amaze me. Besides, there are nine billion people in the world. Billion. With a B. You think they’re really going to watch me? Unlikely.

Now that the computer’s booted up, I can stop thinking about random shit and log into my email. I scan for my brother’s last one and open it.

Hey,

Hope you’re having fun. I haven’t heard from RDU yet, so I want to make sure that you’re registered for classes at Longwood in case the transfer doesn’t go through. I’ll make a call next week for an update if I still haven’t seen an email from RDU.

There’s no pressure to continue at Longwood whether your transfer goes through or not. You know that, right?

Be safe, brother.

Lix

My heart sinks. I wonder if there’s a reason that RDU doesn’t want me. I think about my essay and wonder if I’d said enough. Maybe they’re full. Maybe there isn’t enough housing or… they don’t like that I’m transferring for the second time in two years. Maybe I should have explained why I transferred both times and why I need one more transfer.

I take a breath and hit reply.

Hey, Lix.

Sorry. I didn’t mean to not answer for so long. What they say about island time is true… It’s slow, yet the days go by without me realizing it. Don’t worry; I’m being safe and good and not getting pregnant!

I am registered for classes at LU. I’m not sure I want to go back if I can’t get into RDU. Spending the entire year looking over my shoulder won’t help my grades or my mental health, but I’ll think about it.

I’m really sorry for not checking in over the last two weeks. I met some guys, and I’m having a good time, but it’s really irresponsible of me not to check in. I’m sorry.

And thank you for keeping up with RDU. Thank you for everything you do for me. I don’t tell you that enough.

Xo

I quickly click on send before I get mushy, then I stare at the screen that shows the short email exchange. It was a little misleading, wasn’t it? That could be interpreted as fucking around. And why wouldn’t Lix immediately think that?

As soon as I was picked up last summer, I jumped into the bed of the first guy that would have me—Azure Dayne. I bounced from him right to Gabe. Sure, I enjoyed Gabe’s company, but for me, it was simply physical.

I used them both to drown out all the discomfort in my mind still potent from Trevor. All the insults and manipulations and gaslighting. It was loud, and all I wanted was to forget it. That’s what Gabe did for me.

Mostly. Right up until I realized he was far more into me than I was him. I then graduated from trying to completely rid my memory of Trevor’s abuse into thinking I was just like him, using Gabe for my own pleasure.

Logically, I know it’s different. I made what I was interested in perfectly clear, and Gabe assured me he understood. I didn’t guilt him into anything. I didn’t bribe him or threaten him or anything else.

I’m not like Trevor at all.

And yet, a little voice in my head reminds me that I’m once again using a Trevor tactic by not giving Alka my real name. I close my eyes for a minute to breathe through that realization. I’m sure our reasons are different.

I kept my name to myself for self-protection. I don’t want anyone recognizing it later. Roux isn’t a common name. How many Roux’s are you going to run into in your lifetime?

I didn’t do it to hide something like Trevor probably did. He was living a lie according to what Lix found out, so he’d done so for misleading reasons. I’m willing to bet a lot of people on Kala give false names. Everything about this place is anonymous.

I’m not sure if my justification is sound or not. Should I just tell Alka my given name?

Everything with him is different than anyone I’ve been involved with. Without conversation, we’re taking it slow. We’re getting to know each other. We have tentative plans to keep seeing each other when the summer is over.

Not in so many words but… in questions. Do you want to get married? Do you want kids? How do you feel about polyamory? How do you feel about Oscar creating porn because it will affect you eventually?

Those are intentional questions. Questions that see if what we want and how we feel align for the future.

I’m so ready for it.

A little notification pops up saying that there’s a new email in the thread and asking if I’d like to show it. I click on the “show” button, and the chain moves up to reveal Lix’s response.

Hey, Roux.

So glad to hear from you and I’m happy that you’re having such a good time. I hope you’re being safe. I’m not, in fact, worried about pregnancy. I trust that you can manage to avoid that. I just don’t want you to get caught up in having a good time and put your health at risk. That can lead to consequences you may have to deal with for the rest of your life.

Anyway… No more lecturing. I know you’re old enough and smart enough to make these decisions. I’m proud of the person you are and trust that you think things through. I truly am glad you’ve met some friends and are having a good time.

I called RDU, and they’re still processing your account. There’s a smaller crew in the office over the summer since there are so few people on campus, so while the admissions office isn’t quite as short staffed as others, there are fewer people there and they also help out in other offices over the summer.

They’re not guaranteeing transfer, but the woman I spoke to says they can’t see a reason why it wouldn’t go through. They haven’t heard from the soccer team, though. She said there’s a chance I/you won’t know until right before it’s time to move in. She talks as if admission is a sure thing, so I’m choosing to think that’s a good thing.

As for Longwood, you don’t ever have to go back. We can call and withdraw whenever you want to. There’s no pressure. You can stay with me and Noah if you don’t want to go home, too. We’d love to have you.

Be good and have fun. Love you.

Lix

I smile and close the email without answering. I need to remind myself to stop every few days to make sure I check in with Lix at the very least. Before signing off completely, I scan the short list of unread emails, getting rid of SPAM as I do, just to make sure that RDU didn’t email me directly and leave Lix off the chain.

Since I don’t see anything, I close the browser and log off the computer. “Goodbye, Roux Kipler” flashes across the screen before it goes black.

This time, when I open the door, I look before I rush out. There’s no one in the common area, so I cross it for the outside door. I can see through the tinted window, though I couldn’t see in when I was outside. I’m comforted that the guy I almost knocked out saw me coming. That likely saved him from leaving here with a huge bump on his head at the very least.

Once outside, I jog toward the beach. Reflexes have me looking at my bracelet as if it’s my smartwatch. Obviously it’s not. I wonder if I could have upgraded this little rubber band to have a clock in it. Maybe I should suggest that. Needless to say, it doesn’t tell me the time, so I don’t know how late I am.

However, the run is good for me. I haven’t exercised since stepping foot on Kala. If I make it onto the soccer team this upcoming school year, I’m going to have to kick some ass during conditioning to get myself into shape again. Maybe I should start running on the beach. That’ll really motivate me to choose the gym instead.

I round the corner onto the path that runs in the front of the bungalows until I get to Alka and Oscar’s. I stop to catch my breath then walk around the side of the house where I find both men sitting on the deck. The deck is the one place where there’s seating for more than two. The rest of the bungalow is set up to accommodate just the two individuals, as if making it clear that it’s for romance and shit, not entertainment.

Except the deck. That’s apparently okay for entertaining.

Alka smiles as soon as I turn the corner, his eyes immediately on me. I love the way he looks at me. How instant his smile is.

“Sorry I’m late,” I say as I step onto the deck. Alka gets to his feet and reaches for me. I happily go into his arms for a hug and kiss. “I have been really bad about checking in with my brother, and time gets away from me when I’m not wearing a watch,” I explain.

“No worries,” Alka says. “Not a big deal.”

When he takes a step back, Oscar’s there. He touches my elbow and leans in to kiss my cheek. He has such a charming smile. It reminds me of how people of earlier societies held themselves with quiet confidence and politeness.

“Hello, Ruby,” he says.

My heart flutters a little. “Hi.”

“Ready to go?”

I nod. “You sure they’re not going to mind me tagging along?” I ask.

Alka links his fingers with mine. “They’re not going to care at all. They’ll be happy to have you join us.”

“They’re friends we met on the island,” Oscar says from the other side of Alka as we walk along the bungalows down the beach. “Sweet guys. Just starting their family. I think their oldest is… three?” He looks at Alka.

Alka shrugs. “I think so. I think they have another on the way, too. This is kid number three if I’m remembering the correct couple.”

“It’s really cool that you have friends from the island,” I say.

“We have a handful of couples that we’ve kept in touch with over the years,” Alka says. “We don’t talk much when we’re back home. I think we exchange Christmas cards and occasionally exciting news from time to time. Otherwise, we catch up and sometimes hang out when we’re here.”

I smile, imagining my life like theirs. Having friendships that span years so you can grow with them. Keep up with their lives and growing families.

I want that. I want to be a part of this.