Page 16

CHAPTER 16

ALKA

I wonder what it’ll be like to wake up with Ruby. Will I open my eyes and look right into his? Does he sleep on his stomach or his side? Does he sleep curled up or spread eagle? Does he snore? Does he talk in his sleep?

The summer is winding down, and I know one thing very clearly—I don’t want to end our relationship. It’s not like we’ve talked about it being the end once we leave the island. In fact, we’ve kind of led up to the moment right before the conversation about staying together.

I guess maybe I’m not sure if he’s feeling it. I mean, I know he’s feeling something. That’s obvious in the way he looks at me and the way he talks to me. The way we kiss and the way we cuddle.

“I don’t want this to end,” I say out loud.

Oscar’s arms tighten around me. “We can cuddle all day.”

I smile and bring my fingers between his. We’re lying in bed, Oscar spooned up against my back. We have a beautiful view of the ocean this way, and the sun is casting gorgeous streaks of light throughout the room.

“I want to keep seeing Ruby,” I clarify. “When we leave Kala, I want to keep seeing him. ”

He doesn’t answer, but I know it’s not because he doesn’t want me to. He’s considering the logistics, probably. That’s what he does. He thinks things through without acting on emotion.

“I do too,” he says, which surprises me.

I shift so I can look at him. “Really?”

Oscar’s surprised. There’s amusement at the corners of his lips, as if this entire realization is surprising to him.

“Yes. I like him.”

“How do we make that happen?” I ask.

“This might come as shocking, but I think we need to see where he’s at before we figure out how to make it happen. I understand that your conversations have hinted at wanting the same things, but… and I don’t mean this to sound cliché or stereotyping, he’s young. We’re… not.”

“You’re right. That is stereotyping,” I say, narrowing my eyes at him.

Oscar laughs and kisses me. “It’s not his age that worries me so much as where he is in his life. Is he interested in a long-term relationship? Is he willing to consider long distance? And let’s really think about the fact that you aren’t exactly in a position to up and relocate. You have a great job at an amazing university that advocates for the same things we find important. Which begs the biggest question of all. Will Ruby be willing to relocate?”

“How about let’s leave that one off for now,” I suggest. “Maybe just the first two questions and then see what we can do with that.”

Oscar hesitates. “I think the last point needs to be out there.”

“Oz, if Ruby’s the one, then I’m not staying away from him for a job. No matter how much I love my job and employer, I’m willing to compromise to be with him.”

“If he’s the one,” Oscar says, a smile back on his handsome face. “Do you think he is?”

He’s asked me this in the past. You think he’s the one? I’ve answered yes before. I’ve even meant that yes .

“It feels different this time,” I say, and I can feel the defensiveness in my tone. I take a breath to push it away. He isn’t asking in a condescending manner like, you’ve been here before. What makes you think this is any different than all the other guys?

“It feels different,” I repeat, this time without the attitude. “He’s just… He’s perfect for me. For us.”

I bring my eyes up to meet Oscar’s. “Do you feel it?”

Oscar nods. “I have rarely disliked the guys you’ve brought home, but I can’t say I’ve felt any particular way about them. I’ve never been attracted to them.”

A grin climbs. “You’re attracted to Ruby, huh?”

He hums without confirming or denying. “Maybe another conversation to bring up.”

There’s a knock on the front door. I glance at the clock. Did we order food? Now that I’m thinking about it, I’m hungry. If it’s not food, we should order something to eat.

“I’ll get it,” Oscar says and kisses my lips.

I remain in bed and stare at the ceiling. I can’t decide if I’m nervous or excited for a conversation with Ruby. How do I bring it up? We still have twelve days left of the summer before Oscar and I have to get on a plane and back to life. Is now too soon? Is it too late?

I’m chewing my lip when Oscar steps back into the room with Ruby. My heart jumps, and a smile takes over my face. Especially since he’s smiling.

He climbs onto the bed, walking on his knees to reach me. “I know I’m not supposed to be here until later, but… I kind of wanted some company. Do you mind?”

“Not at all.” I sit up, reaching for him and pulling his face to mine so I can kiss him. “I’m happy you’re here. Always.”

“I’m not interrupting?”

“We’re just relaxing,” Oscar says, sitting on the bed on Ruby’s other side .

“Speaking of relaxing, do we have some food?” I ask. “I just realized how hungry I am.”

Oscar chuckles. “I’ll order something. Hungry, Ruby?”

Ruby nods. “Yes, please.”

My husband leaves the room. Ruby holds up a piece of paper. “I found something for us to do next week. There’s a new museum that I think could be fun.”

I take the flyer. Unsurprisingly, there’s a huge dick on it. I swear, there are dicks on everything. The flyer reads:

Opening August 1

The Art of the Phallus

A museum all about the penis throughout history

There’s a location and directions and a couple teasing pictures of dicks. “Yep, I’m convinced.”

Ruby laughs. “Right?! Sounds fun.”

Oscar returns, and I hand him the paper. “Ruby found our next outing,” I tell him.

He reads it with a growing grin. “Perfect. We can stop by a concierge booth later.”

“I already did,” Ruby says, grinning. “On my way here. I grabbed three tickets.”

I pull him down as I lie back again. He snuggles alongside my body, half of him lying on me. “Thanks. So, what brings you here so early? Not complaining at all, but I thought you were spending some time in the tech hut to catch up on emails and prep for school.”

Ruby sighs, and it doesn’t feel happy. In fact, it feels like he sags a little, which is impressive since we’re lying down. Oscar rests his hand on Ruby’s side, and I can feel Oscar snuggling in behind him.

“I don’t think my transfer is going to go through in time for the start of school,” he says .

“I’m sorry,” I say.

He shrugs. “It’s my own fault. I didn’t even begin the process until three days before I came to Kala. It’s not like I’m showing a lot of responsibility and maturity. Besides, this is my second transfer in two years.”

“Why so many?” I ask.

“Well, the first school is where I met the man I was in an abusive relationship with for most of the school year. Needless to say, I didn’t have any good feelings about going back, so I transferred. I only went an hour away, though, and I spent the entirety of last year looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to pop out. My grades and my mental health suffered a lot.” He pauses. “In fact, I’m also slacking on talking to a therapist, and I promised my brother I’d reach out to mine again this summer.”

I kiss his forehead. “I’m sorry,” I repeat. “I hate that for you.”

He sighs. “Yeah. So I sent an email to admissions and asked to unenroll for the year. I don’t think I can go through another year of looking over my shoulder every time I leave my dorm room.”

“That sounds exhausting,” Oscar says. “Did you press charges?”

“I… No, but my understanding is that he’s been taken care of. I don’t know what that means, but I think the ambiguity of it is why I still feel like he can simply show up again.”

“What’s your plan for next year? Where’s home?”

“My parents live in Tennessee, but I’ll probably stay with Lix and Noah in L.A. Maybe enroll in one of the colleges in L.A. or find an online program that doesn’t adhere to traditional start/end schedules like in-person courses do. The problem is, as you know, I don’t really know what I want to do, so I’m not incredibly upset about being out of school for the semester. My fear is that I’ll never go back and finish.”

I nearly forget to breathe when he says he’ll be moving to L.A. That’s only six hours from me. Six! That’s not an awful distance at all. And while I’m sad about this new obstacle in Ruby’s life, with him being out of school or taking online courses, that means there’s the possibility that he can come to visit us often.

“You don’t have to go to college,” Oscar says. “You know that, right?”

“Yes,” Ruby says, and I feel his smile on my skin. “I guess part of me was hoping that by exploring the different courses, I might find something I want to do for the next forty-to-fifty years.”

“There are a ton of courses you can participate in without being enrolled at the school offering them,” I tell him. “I was going to offer to text you a few resources, but obviously, I can’t do that right now.”

He laughs. “That’s okay. I like that idea. Maybe we can do that in a couple weeks.”

Now seems like a good enough opening. “Speaking of a couple weeks from now… Ruby, I’d really like to keep seeing you when we leave Kala at the end of the summer.”

Ruby picks his head up, a huge smile on his face. “Yeah?”

“Definitely. L.A. is only six hours away, so that’s definitely a doable distance. I know it might still be a little frustrating and challenging being long distance, but I feel strongly that I’ve been waiting for you for a very long time. I don’t want this to end with the summer.”

Ruby sighs. “Neither do I.” His eyes flicker to Oscar’s, which we both interpret as an opening for my husband.

“How do you feel about seeing both of us?” Oscar asks.

“Really?” he asks, his eyes widening. Not in surprise so much as delight. Maybe a little bashful, too, with the pretty pink tinge on his cheeks.

Oscar nods. He’s still lying on the bed, so he reaches up to touch Ruby’s cheek. Maybe he wants to feel his pink skin. “How do you feel about that?”

“I’ve never dated two people before,” he admits. “Maybe it’ll be complicated? ”

“I think it’ll be less complicated because the two people you’re seeing are married,” I say, smiling. “But since we’re talking about this, I want you to know that this isn’t dependent on you seeing Oscar too. You don’t have to see us both. You understand that, right? If you and Oscar turn out to not hit it off romantically, that’s okay. That doesn’t affect you and me.”

“Doesn’t it?” Ruby’s eyebrows knit together.

“I need you to get along and at least be friendly. Remember, I said I won’t live two separate lives. That’s not fair to anyone involved. But no, you don’t have to date us both,” I assure him.

Ruby studies us for a minute before nodding. “I guess maybe I need some guidance in this, but I definitely want to give this a try.”

“Good,” I say and pull him down to lie between me and Oscar again. “Okay, so there’s one more subject I kind of want to talk about because it’ll be important as we progress.”

“What’s that?” Ruby asks.

“Sex.”

He laughs. “Okay. Shoot.”

“I only bottom. I love my dick touched, sucked, rubbed, and teased, but I’m not much of a top. It’s worked out amazingly well with Oscar since he’s only a top. So… I’m curious to know where you stand.”

“A verse would suit you best,” he notes.

“You as you are suits us best,” Oscar corrects.

Ruby turns his face into my shoulder, burying his smile. I can feel it fade though. A minute passes. “So… I haven’t bottomed in over a year. Unsurprisingly, sex was one of the ways Trevor—my abusive ex—controlled me. I—” His voice cuts off, and he takes a breath. “I don’t actually want to talk about it,” he mutters, “but yeah. I haven’t bottomed since. It feels too… vulnerable. I’ve only topped.”

“That’s okay,” Oscar says. “I know a hundred ways to make a man orgasm that don’t include penetration.”

Ruby shivers, laughing. “Good to know. ”

Oscar touches his shoulder and gently rolls Ruby onto his back. “I want to make two things very clear. One, you need to tell us how you feel—regarding anything and everything, but especially sex. Okay?”

Ruby nods. “Okay.”

“Two, we’re all about consent. The second you say no, everything stops. Period. I don’t care if one of us is in the middle of an orgasm. It stops. Understand? No means no, and we take that very seriously.”

Ruby takes a breath and nods again. His voice is quieter when he answers. “Yes.”

It makes my stomach churn. Anger floods me for a second. I’d really like to find this Trevor guy, tie him to the soccer field, and let my team use him as target practice.

Instead, I roll to my side and press a kiss to Ruby’s cheek. I don’t say anything at all about Trevor.

“Thanks,” Ruby says with a shy smile.

Oscar gently moves his hair from his forehead. “I’m sorry that you’ve been subject to an abusive man, Ruby. I know we can’t erase that time in your life, but I can promise you that you’ll know nothing but kindness, consideration, and love with us.”

Once again, Ruby inhales. His breath is shaky as he smiles at Oscar. “Thank you. You’re already the best guys I’ve ever met. I’m not sure you can get any better.”

I chuckle. “Sweetheart, that sounds like a challenge. Be prepared to be swept off your feet.”

“For the rest of your life, if you’ll let us,” Oscar adds.

Ruby brings a hand up to his face. I feel a tear trickle down to my lips where they’re pressed against the side of his head. He takes a few calming breaths.

The knocking on our door breaks the moment, which is probably good. Ruby needs a break from all the heaviness that this conversation unexpectedly took on. Oscar kisses Ruby’s cheek and excuses himself to answer the door .

I bring my man to my arms and hug him tightly for a minute. Without a word, I pull him from the bed. “Let’s go eat, then we’ll see what we can find for entertainment today.”

Ruby smiles, nodding. I’m going to make sure I see that smile every day.