Page 17

CHAPTER 17

ROUX

T here’s an enormous stone erection right outside the new museum of phalluses. It’s like eight feet tall with a smooth head, pronounced crown, and prominent veins in all the right places. It gets a little fatter just below the head before thinning out slightly again.

I can’t help but think this is modeled after someone specific.

“I really wish I could have my picture taken with this,” I say. Yep, I’m totally showing my age right now. Whatever. How often do you get to stand beside an eight-foot-tall cock?

“Smile,” a man with a camera says. I turn in time to look at him and laugh as he takes a picture. He winks and practically blends back into the crowd.

“How does he know it’s me when he gets back?” I ask.

“Facial recognition,” Oscar answers. “Your identification is on file. Not to mention, they’re recording you from the moment you step onto the property until the moment you leave, which means they have a whole lot of candid photos of you to train their software to recognize you from the controlled environments when you’re solo.”

“Huh,” I say and look up at the cock again. “That’s cool.”

“There’s a package where you can buy memory books that they personally put together for you,” Alka says. “It includes images of you and from around the island during your stay. They’re really damn good too. The images from around the island are pictures of places that we’ve been and would have seen. Like, we’ve never been to Bane, so there wouldn’t be pictures of Bane. ”

“Wow,” I say. “That’s pretty cool. How do they know?”

“Same software,” Oscar answers. “I also imagine that each photographer has a specific route, so if you’re in their photo dump of the day, they know where you’ve been. I think the software is also trained to recognize the surroundings and match your location.”

“Also, let’s be real. We know the bracelets track us,” Alka says, holding up his wrist with his rubber bracelet. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that all the software collectively gets a pretty accurate feed on where we’ve been, what we’ve been doing, and who we’re with.”

“Yet I can’t find it in me to care,” Oscar muses. “This isn’t the government. If someone wants to watch me all day, they’re going to get bored.”

“I’m not sure that says good things about your profession,” I say.

His smile climbs. His expression makes my stomach flutter.

“Trust me, if they see that , they’re going to stay on the Oscar channel permanently,” Alka says.

I laugh, though I don’t doubt that at all.

A man stops at our group and hands us a brochure for the museum. I skim through it, noting a few little facts. A lot of these items are from the personal collection of the curator, a man named Elijah Cain. The historical items are primarily replicas from museums around the world.

“Look at this,” Alka says, laughing and pointing to the bottom of the page.

We understand that a museum dedicated to the worship of penises can be exciting. If you want to take your own out, that’s fine. You may do with it what you will. I’ll leave you with a warning and a promise. The promise first—you are being recorded for security purposes. Yes, we will see everything you do! And now the warning—if you get your bodily fluids on any part of my museum, you will be fined exorbitantly. I’ll use that money to bring in more erections for everyone to admire, and your name and mugshot will be attached to it for everyone to see as a donation of shame. Also, you won’t be allowed back. Respect my museum. -Elijah

I laugh. “I know rules are usually made because someone has done it before, but since this is the grand opening, I can’t imagine where that came from,” I muse.

“There’s a map on the back,” Oscar says, and I turn the pamphlet over.

The building is far larger than I anticipated. There are a dozen different rooms, ranging from collections like Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, Modern-Day Penis Parks, Pagan Ancestors, Fantasy/Space/Omegaverse species, Monster Erections…

“We’re totally stopping there first,” Alka says, tapping the Monster Erections room in the back. “I can only imagine what this means.”

“Oh my,” I say. Yep, definitely curious.

The crowd around us grows as the minutes tick closer to opening. Alka stands beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist. I lean into him, and we people watch as other men (and the occasional woman) stand beside the big stone erection.

I think this is the most women I’ve seen on the island since arriving, including those who work here .

Eventually, the door opens, and we form two lines to move inside. It’s not a rapid line since everyone’s bracelets need to be scanned before entrance. I don’t mind. There’s a nice breeze right here, and I’m still side-eyeing the giant dick.

There’s a young man inside, twenties probably. He’s standing with a man easily twice his age with gray hair at the sides of his head. I can see hair peeking out of his unbuttoned shirt—a shirt that struggles around his biceps and hard chest.

The younger man is smiling from ear to ear as he greets those who walk in. We watch as a few guys stop around them, joining the small crowd. I don’t hear what the newcomers say, but the younger man says, “Oh! Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m Elijah, and this is Laiken, my partner. I’m so happy you could make it.” His voice carries. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s excited or if his voice just carries.

Oscar leans in as we pass. “You think the stone cock out front was modeled after one of them?”

I burst out laughing. “Oh my god, I thought it was modeled after someone too!”

Alka’s chuckling too. “I mean, it makes sense. If I had to guess, it’s the older man’s dick.”

“Why do you think that?” I ask.

“Because it’s Elijah’s collection. If I were going to put a dick on display, I wouldn’t choose mine. I’d choose Oscar’s. It’s far more impressive, and I’m definitely far prouder of it,” Alka says.

I laugh again. “I mean, it does have a following all its own, right?” I look at Oscar with a grin. “Do you have a dildo line of replica Honey Sin dicks?”

“Yes,” Alka and Oscar answer together.

My eyes widen. “I was kidding, but that’s… wild.”

“It’s on my website,” Oscar says, smirking.

“Okay, that only further proves my point,” I say as we wander through the different exhibit halls. There’s something to look at everywhere, but we’re working our way into the back where the monster dicks can be found. Hopefully, starting in the back will work in our favor too and there will be less people around.

The room of monster dicks is filled with what I’m going to go out on a limb and say are dildos. There’s also a whole lot of art, most of which is partnered with the dildos to give us a look at the beast that would wield such a weapon.

When I say there are bulges and ridges and scales and knots and, and, and all over the place, I cannot emphasize it enough. Some are definitely modeled after penises of animals but with embellishments, and yes, I still find it disturbing.

But others…

“Where do people dream this shit up?” Alka asks as we stop in front of one that’s the size of my arm… in both length and girth No, I’m not exaggerating in the least. I can’t imagine anyone actually using that.

“I can’t even imagine,” I say.

Since most of these are just dildos that I have a feeling we can buy online, we move into the next room, which is Ancient Egypt. The first thing we get to is a mummified penis. Talk about presenting the good stuff right when you walk in the door.

“Oscar?”

The three of us turn at Oscar’s name. Both men with me smile at the couple walking toward us. These aren’t the same men we hung out with a few weeks ago, but they’re definitely good looking. I feel a little intimidated by them.

I’ve never been so self-conscious of my looks until coming to Kala. It’s like the beacon of good-looking people. Where are the average guys like me? Or maybe everyone just went through a glow-up by stepping foot onto the island. Island magic, like island time, is a thing, I guess.

“Hey,” Alka says as I watch the four take turns embracing. He comes back and wraps his arm around my waist. “This is our boyfriend, Ruby,” Alka introduces. My stomach flips. That’s the first time he’s used that word. The first time he’s introduced me as such .

It feels good.

“This is Jake and Henry,” Alka finishes.

My insides freeze because I recognize those names. Jake holds out his hand with a smile. I somewhat blindly reach for it.

These are the guys that Oscar and Alka swing with. Right in front of me. My heart races, and I shift uncomfortably as I shake Henry’s hand too. “Hi,” I greet, because that’s polite.

“This is awesome, right?” Jake asks, looking around. “I thought the nude beach on Makara was going to be the place where I’d be surrounded by the most visible dicks. I was definitely wrong.”

“Did you see the cocken?” Henry asks, laughing. “It’s a chicken with a cock head. It’s in the lineup of animals with cock appendages a couple rooms over.”

Alka laughs. “Wow. No, we didn’t.”

“I’m happy that it’s just modified animal bodies with a human dick. I’m not sure I’m interested in seeing animal dicks, you know?” Jake says, making a scrunched face.

“There’s a line that we definitely don’t want to cross,” Oscar says, nodding.

“A very hard line where it goes from funny to disturbing,” Jake says, shuddering.

They continue to talk about the museum for a few minutes before catching up with each other’s lives, and I listen, keeping close to Alka’s side, which isn’t hard since his arm is still firmly wrapped around me. Then Oscar takes my hand.

Jake and Henry say goodbye after a while, and I watch them wander away. I can see why swinging with them might be appealing. I turn back to the display and study the dick inside. Is this really what a mummified dick looks like? I wonder if King Tut was the only one buried with a mummified erection.

“You alright?” Alka asks.

I nod then decide I’m going to ask my question out loud. “Do you think King Tut was the only pharaoh buried with a mummified erection? ”

Oscar laughs under his breath.

“I… don’t know. I’d look it up, but that’s not possible right now,” Alka says. “That’s a good question, though. I wonder how many other ancients were buried with erections.”

My face scrunches as my thoughts take an unwelcome turn to corpses with erections. “Yeah, it’s fascinating with Tut, but I’m not sure I want to know the answer to that.”

“It truly is fascinating though,” Oscar says, taking a step closer to the replica of Tut’s mummified erection. “You can see the veins and everything. I’m seriously curious how they made it hard in death. And is that a true representation or, like, made bigger while they embalmed him.”

“Is that a thing?” I ask.

He looks at me with laughter in his eyes. “No idea. I do know that the body temporarily goes into rigor mortis after death, so moving the body into different positions can be more difficult the longer they’re dead, especially since its gone by twenty to twenty-four hours. But like, the dick is a very different kind of muscle, right? What kinds of properties does it take on when dead?”

I shake my head. “These are more questions about dead bodies than I ever thought I’d have,” I mutter and take a step beyond the replica of King Tut’s mummified erection. It’s equally as disturbing as it is amusing. Especially as the information plaque says that it might have been done in defiance to his father, who tried to change the Egyptians’ religion during his reign.

Being buried with an erect dick is definitely a different way of giving your father the middle finger in death. Just saying.

“So, the whole idea of mummification is that their bodies are preserved for the afterlife,” Alka says. I glance at him, finding that he’s fighting a smile. “Do you think he’s erect when he steps into the afterlife? Do you think he has to spend all of eternity with an erection because he was buried like that?”

“Oh my god,” I say, trying not to laugh too loudly .

“Okay, okay,” Oscar says, trying equally hard not to laugh. “Let’s go look at the gay orgy paintings on bowls from Ancient Greece.”

We wander around for a while and run into Jake and Henry several more times in different rooms. They don’t hang around, but we exchange exhibits that the other should check out. Needless to say, Alka suggests King Tut’s cock.

“You sure you’re okay?” Alka asks as they walk away for the fourth time.

I nod. Before I can ask another random question to move away from the gorgeous couple that they swing with, Oscar sets his hand on my neck, and I meet his eyes.

“You understand that we canceled on them so we could be with you, right?” he asks. “It was our choice, and we’d make it again.”

“I don’t want you to… miss out because of me.”

Alka sighs, wrapping his arm around me again and resting his head along mine. “We’re not missing out. We don’t regret it. It’s not going to happen again.”

“But—”

“Listen,” Oscar says before I can argue. “I understand why you feel conflicted, but I need you to think about this: we want to be with you. Not just here on Kala but for many, many years. We’re not going to do something you’re uncomfortable with.”

“Or someone,” Alka adds, and I snort.

“What we did with them was just something to pass the time. It was fun, but we’re not going to miss it. What we would miss is losing you over something so frivolous as a few orgasms. I promise, there was nothing going on between us and either of those couples that’s worth losing this future we’ve just begun with you.”

I take a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m not really insecure, but… This is kind of new, and they’re really hot, and I’m not so…”

“You’re way hotter,” Oscar says.

“So, so much hotter,” Alka agrees .

I roll my eyes.

“These are the kinds of things we need to talk about, so please don’t keep them to yourself. All right?” Oscar says.

Sighing, I nod. “Sorry. I feel stupid feeling… insecure around them.”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Alka says, pressing his lips to the spot right below my ear and making me shiver, “I can’t keep my hands off you, Ruby, and Oz. Trust me, I barely see anyone else.”

I smile. “Thanks for the reassurance.”

“Always,” he promises. “Now, let's go enjoy speculating over other ancient dicks.”