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ALEXEI

O ut on the street, I slip my hand into Stef’s and we walk side by side, laughing and talking, like we’ve been doing this for years.

Inside, we pretended we were on a first date, getting to know each other, talking about books.

But now we’re outside, I feel like it’s time to say what I really brought him here to say.

“I wish I hadn’t screwed up last time.”

“Don’t do that. It was obviously meant to be like this. Think about it. What are the odds of us ending up as roommates? It was fate.”

“I guess.”

He squeezes my hand. “It was.”

I have to stop him on the corner to put the hand I’m allowed to move out of a sling on his face and kiss him.

When I pull away, he looks up at me with those big eyes.

“Fuck me Bambi, I fucking love you.”

“Bambi?” he laughs, shyly tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. “I thought I was horror boy?”

“You’re both. You’re like a million and one things and I can’t wait to figure them all out.”

He drops his eyes. “Did you talk to your dad?”

“Not yet. But I will. I’m gonna wait until after graduation. But you were right. It’s not my job to take care of everyone. As soon as I get settled in a job and I’m making proper money, I’m gonna send some to him and my babushka, because I have to help them in some way, it’s just what I believe.”

“I know, I get it.”

“But anything else, he’ll just have to accept. They’ll always be my family, but I’m not gonna be around him if he tries to make me ashamed of this. Because this is the opposite of something we should be ashamed of.”

He smiles, burying his face in my jacket. I put my good arm around him, soaking up his coconutty scent. My little ball of sunshine. My scary little prince.

“By the way,” I speak into his hair. “How do you feel about Nashville?”

“The TV show?”

“No.” I laugh. “The place.”

His head pops up from my jacket. “Why?”

“I got both NHL internships - Vancouver and Nashville.” I got a couple of the bank ones too. Including one at J.P Morgan, but I’m not gonna take it.

“Why Nashville? I thought you really wanted the one in Vancouver? Isn’t Canada the home of hockey?”

I shrug, unable to keep the grin off my face.

“Well I hear Nashville’s the undisputed home of country music, and I happen to know a very talented musician who could probably have a lot of fun there.

Maybe even find a job playing music in a laid-back bar or something?

And don’t go around telling people in Nashville that Canada’s the home of hockey okay? ”

His face drops. “You’re doing this for me?”

“If I am,” I say, putting my hand on his cheek. “Then you deserve it.”

“Alexei-”

I shush him with a kiss. “It’s the Nashville-motherfucking-Predators Stef! This is a big deal for me, and I want it. I really want it. And I’m asking you to come with me. I think it’ll be good, for the both of us.”

He still isn’t smiling. Fuck, maybe he wants to stay here with his family?

“If you wanna stay in Queens, we can make that work too.”

He jumps up onto his tip toes and kisses me. “Of course I wanna go wherever you’re going. I just meant, if you want the Vancouver one more, we can find a way to make that work.”

“You’re amazing.”

Now he smiles. “I’m starting to think I might be.”

I laugh and mess his hair up.

“So what do you think baby? You, me, Nashville, country music and hockey? We’ll get some cowboy boots and a big bed and live our best life.”

He hums, closing his eyes. “That sounds like heaven.” His eyes fly open. “But, I don’t know the next thing about country music.”

“A little bird told me you can learn songs by ear, so I think you’ll be fine.”

I kiss him once more before tugging him away from the wall. I put his hand in my pocket to keep it warm, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles while we walk.

The chill is thawing in the air. Little flowers blooming everywhere with the first signs of spring.

I’ll miss the seasons in the city when we move somewhere that’s a little hotter all year round, but I won’t have to miss this guy right next to me.

If I play my cards right, I’ll never have to miss him again.

I sit in the stands, watching Pawlowski lead the team to a win against Clarkson – the last game before the first round play-offs where they’ll meet Brown.

I’ve sat here for the past month, watching them win, watching them lose.

Despite how much Mischa’s crushing it as captain, they’ve had some losses, but they’ve done enough to get to the play-offs.

I realize, as I watch them celebrate Chung’s last minute overtime goal, I’m not bitter, I’m not jealous. I’m happy for them. They’re my teammates, even if I can’t play right now.

Mischa skates up to the glass and bangs on it while he looks at me. I cup my hands around my mouth and hoot and he hoots back, the guys skating up behind him and joining in.

I wish my dad could see this. Wish he could understand what actually matters.

Not standings, or getting more points than your teammates, or even making it to the play-offs, but this.

People caring about each other, even when they don’t have much to bring to the table.

I’m here, I’m supporting them, and they’re supporting me.

Stef leans over, so I can hear him over the noise.

“Does this mean they won?”

I can’t help but laugh.

“Yeah baby, they won.” I tilt my head and give him a kiss and hear Mischa wolf whistle from the stands.

I think it’s for us, but then the band strikes up another rendition of Seven Nation Army and I realize he’s whistling at Alice in her big sweater with her trumpet. I get it. Band nerds really are sexy.

Stef holds my hand as we walk out of the arena.

My shoulder is still healing, but my surgery went well and Micheal’s working with me on the physiotherapy and we’re making progress with my mobility.

He’s optimistic, but I’ve accepted that I might not even be able to move my arm the same way I could before.

That it isn’t only hockey the injury affected.

It’s crazy the things we do for what we love.

If I’d have stopped playing after that first injury, like most normal, sane people would, then my arm would be fully healed by now and I wouldn’t have to worry about losing mobility.

But I didn’t. And I don’t regret that. Because it brought me here. Brought me to Stef.

He lets us into our apartment, a few boxes sitting around, though we’re not even moving for another three months.

I love how excited he is for Nashville. This new adventure we’re taking together.

He’s bought guide books and played country music non-stop since I told him about it.

He’s even learned a good few songs on his violin and looked up instruments like the bouzouki used in country songs.

He’s gonna smash it there in our new home. I just hope that I can keep up.

After he’s kicked his shoes off at the door, he turns around and pulls me closer by the suit jacket.

Even if I’m not playing, I’m still on the team.

Stef was right, they’re not kicking me out of school.

But I do have to show up to every game in a suit, like they might put me on at the last minute.

It’s a farce, but it’s worth it to graduate.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good.”

He cocks an eyebrow.

“Seriously, I’m good.” I say, brushing his hair out of his face before bending down to kiss him. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

He hums and closes his eyes. “You are.”

“Come here baby.”

While I kiss him and let my hands roam greedily over his body in his clothes, I can’t believe this man is mine.

That I get to touch him whenever I want (with his permission obviously).

I can’t believe I get to kiss those lips.

That I get to be naked with him. Make him feel good. Watch him come apart for me.

“Can we take this off?” I ask, tugging at his shirt and jeans at the same time.

“Which one?”

“All of it?”

He laughs. “Mm, I think so.”

“You think so?”

He starts walking backwards, towards my bedroom. We mostly use his as a storage room now.

“What did you have in mind?” he asks.

Warmth fizzles in the pit of my stomach when he bites his lip. Fuck me, I love it when he does that.

I let him lead me into the bedroom by the hand, pulling me to him when he turns around so I’m flush against his back. I pull his shirt off over his head and start kissing down his neck and perfect, unscarred shoulders.

“I want you, so much,” I whisper in his ear.

He sighs, tilting his head back until it’s resting on my shoulder.

“Want you like this forever,” I say as I snake my fingers gently over his chest and stomach. Moving back up to ghost along his hardening nipples.

“You’re mine and I’m never gonna let you go again.”

He hums his appreciation at the words I know he loves.

“No one else ever gets to touch you like this.”

He sucks in a breath, his eyebrows knitting together.

“I don’t want anybody else. Just want you.” He brings his hand around and loops his arm around my neck while he kisses me, deep and hungry.

I can’t ever get close enough to him. I wanna live inside him. It scares me how desperate I am for him all the time. How he’s on my mind 24/7.

I turn him around and kiss him properly, undressing him while my hands keep being greedy over his warm skin.

When he’s completely naked, he steps back and lets me look at him. I love that he isn’t self-conscious anymore. I don’t think I could do anything more to show him how crazy I am about his body.

I reach out to touch him, but he wags a finger at me.

“You’re still fully-dressed. Not fair.”

“Okay, fine.” I smile as I pull my shirt off over my head.

My shoulder’s stiff, but not sore anymore.

Stef waits patiently, knowing I don’t need help doing this.

Once my shirt comes off, he can’t wait to touch me.

My abs aren’t as visible now I’m not training and I can’t lift weights yet, but the way he looks at me definitely hasn’t changed.

His greedy little hands all over me hasn’t changed either.

“Like what you see pretty boy?” I ask.

He laughs. “Shut up.”

I claim his face in my hands as I kiss him deep. My tongue roaming his mouth, massaging his tongue.

His cock is flush against his stomach and it throbs between us.

I pull away from the kiss to lick my thumb, loving the way his eyes get wide when he knows what I’m gonna do.

I keep looking him in the eye as I brush my hand down his chest before finding his cock and making circles around his head, smearing pre-cum over his slit.

His eyelids flicker and he bites his lip.

I catch his mouth on a groan and walk us back the rest of the way to the bed.

Falling down in a tangle of limbs. I practically rip my pants off and Stef pulls my underwear under my ass so we can rut against each other.

I let his moans guide me as I slide down the bed and wrap my lips around his cock. Letting myself get lost in the familiar weight and taste of him. The smell of his musk when I take him to the root and swallow around his head.

He makes a sexy, strangled noise and his hips shoot up, burying him deeper.

“Alexei, stop, you’re gonna make me come.”

I pull off him, dragging my lips and tongue along his shaft.

I love his glazed eyes when I look up.

“Let me make you come.”

He shakes his head.

“Want you inside me.” He lightly brushes his fingers over my new scar. “Please come up here and fuck me.”

My cock throbs at his voice, the words coming out of his mouth, the way he’s looking at me.

He moves to get on top, the only way we’ve really been able to have sex since my injury and operation, but I press him back against the mattress.

“I can do it.”

He looks at me skeptically, worried. The fact he’s worried about me. It makes my heart fucking soar.

“Seriously, my left arm’s getting strong as fuck.”

“Oh yeah?”

I let him think it’s from jerking off, but I don’t feel like jerking off when I live with my insanely beautiful boyfriend who does everything so much better.

I take my time opening him up. Enjoying the sight of him squirming and the sound of his sexy moans while I tease him with my fingers and tongue.

He’s told me he’s ready at least three times, but I wanna draw him out, wait until he can’t take anymore. I need to see that look in his eyes. That finally I’ve felt every time I’m with him.

When I eventually roll the condom on and press into him, there it is. A gasp of relief as his eyes grow heavy and goosebumps raise on his arms. A sexy blush rising up his neck to his cheeks as I sink all the way inside.

“Alexei.”

“I got you baby.”

I hold myself up on my good arm while I thrust in slow, deep movements, feeling him warm and tight around me. My heart pounds as I think about the fact I’m inside him. How fucking intimate it is to be inside someone. And how much he’s trusting me right now.

He lifts his hips and moves with me. I let him set the pace. Only speeding up when he does. Our skin slapping as we meet in the middle before pulling out, over and over again.

Stef’s breaths are no more than panting gasps and I know he’s getting close. Even on the very edge, he notices my arm shake and asks if I’m okay.

“Yeah, I’m good, don’t stop.”

He speeds up, fucking himself hard now on my cock.

I love how he takes what he needs from me.

His moans get louder, deeper, more drawn out, until he goes silent, lips parting, head thrown back on the pillow as he comes.

He tightens around me, muscles contracting and tightening in a way that’s absolutely fucking maddening.

Even as he shoots the last of his load onto his chest, his feet are digging into my ass, pushing me deeper inside him so I can join him.

My movements get jerky as I feel it build and Stef stops moving, letting me get what I need to be there with him in that high.

My own voice sounds far away as I shout out, my orgasm rocking through me, Stef saying my name until I collapse on top of him.

“Oh my fucking God.”

Stef strokes my sweaty hair, his body shaking on a laugh under me.

“I can’t wait until my shoulder heals. I have so many plans.”

“Oh yeah? Care to share them with the class?”

“Let’s just say one of them involves me holding you up in the shower.”

He groans and grinds his hips against me.

“But we might have to wait till we get to our new place to do that.”

“There’s no rush.” He says. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”