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He swallows whatever he’d been chewing and looks up at me, then looks at Stef. He laughs. “Good one. Stef’s way out of your league bro.”

I look at Stef. He bursts out laughing.

“I know he is. But we’re still dating.”

His face changes. The smile instantly dropping and his eyes widening. “You’re being serious.”

“Yeah.”

I have to clasp my hands in my lap under the table to stop them from shaking.

For a second, I think my friend is gonna react badly to me coming out to him.

Even if he is sitting there with his girlfriend who has a gay best friend.

Maybe his true feelings will come out and he won’t be able to hide them?

“You’re gay?”

“Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“Since forever.”

His head snaps to Alice, then Stef, before snapping back to me.

“I... I mean, it’s cool, obviously, I just…” his eyes take on this sad look. “You could have told me man, like, any time, you know I wouldn’t have… well shit, come here.”

He stands up, and as much as I don’t want to hug it out in the middle of a busy restaurant, I’m not gonna push him away now.

He’s grinning like a fool when he pulls away, his hands still on my shoulders as he looks at Stef again.

“Simakov’s a good guy,” he tells Stef. “Like the best teammate and captain, he’ll always have your back.”

“Shut up man,” I say, slapping his arm to get him to stop.

“What? You are!”

When he stops hugging me and telling Stef how great I am, he sits down and I hope this will be the last of it. That the food will distract him and we can just go on with the meal without talking about it anymore, but nope.

He asks me about a million and one questions about how I knew I was gay and who knows and if that’s why I said I was a virgin, and am I really a virgin? This last one stumps me.

I look at Stef before answering and he gives me a little nod.

“I really was.”

“Was?” he asks.

Alice’s eyes go wide. I guess Stef didn’t tell her about that.

“Look, can we please stop talking about my…” I just stop myself from saying sex “… love life? I still have a concussion you know.”

“Oh now it’s convenient.” Stef grins.

“Shut up you.”

“You two are too cute,” Mischa says.

Alice rolls her eyes. “They’re not a side-show, eat your California rolls before they get cold.”

“But they’re supposed to be cold, right?”

Alice looks at me and we burst out laughing. Idiot.

“That wasn’t so bad right?” Stef asks as he kicks his shoes off at the door.

“No. It was way less scary than I’ve been building it up to be in my head.”

It’s still a long, long way to go before I can ever imagine telling my dad though. But I don’t wanna think about that tonight. I just want to bask in how good it feels to be honest with at least two people in my life. Not counting horror boy.

I cross the room and take Stef’s face in my hands, kissing him like I’ve wanted to all night.

Watching him in that restaurant and knowing he was mine made me feel… I don’t know. Less broken. Less empty.

When I’m with him like this, it’s like he’s filling me up. Patching over all the little cuts and scratches that have been left there over the years.

“Shall we go to bed?”

“Isn’t it a little early for that?”

“I see the doctor again tomorrow, if I get the all-clear for ‘physical activity’ will you stop worrying then?”

“Hmm.” He makes a big show of thinking it over. “Maybe.”

“You’re so fucking cute, come here.”

I bury my hand in his hair and kiss him like he’s my air supply.

“I can still make you come.”

“It’s not fair.” He whispers, his lips brushing my cheek as I kiss his neck, drinking in his smell and the warmth of his skin.

“Trust me, it’s good for me too. I really wanna taste you again.”

He hums against my neck. “Okay.”

I start leading him to his room, but he pulls me towards mine.

“Let’s sleep in your bed for a change tonight.”

“Okay.”

I never thought in a million years I’d have a guy in this bed. Especially not Stef. But now I have him here, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

I peel him out of his clothes, letting him undress me to my underwear.

I take his hands in mine when he tries to pull my boxers down. “Trust me, it’ll be less tempting for me if I keep them on. I might accidentally come already.”

“You promise this is okay?”

“I promise, stop worrying.”

I sigh as our bare chests touch. His legs wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer by pressing his feet against my ass. I rut against him before I realize what I’m doing. If I keep grinding on him like this, I’m gonna come in my pants.

I kiss down his chest, playing with his nipples again with my tongue. Remembering what he likes from last time. His sighs and the way his hands are playing with my hair is fucking heaven. Better than anything I could have ever imagined when I tried to picture what it would be like having sex.

My crucifix and St. Christopher dangle on his stomach as I kiss his chest and lick his nipples.

His cock is flush against his stomach when I make my way down. I didn’t think a cock could look pretty before I saw Stef’s, but his really is.

I lick a stripe from the base to the tip and relish the sound of him moaning and the way he grips my hair tight as I wrap my lips around the head. I taste him immediately. That salty tang of pre-cum as I lick his slit and entice another bead out onto my tongue.

I’m so hard it hurts as I suck him down as far as he’ll go. My cock straining against my underwear.

Stef’s breath stutters as I draw my lips over his skin. I pull off almost all the way before dipping down to the base again.

He’s panting now, gripping my hair and making little murmurs and whispering my name. His cock starts to pulse, the vein on the underside throbbing against my tongue, and I don’t realize how badly I want him to come in my mouth until he tells me to stop.

He looks completely wrecked when I look at him. Letting me go down on him for longer than he had last time. He’s close, and I could make him come to pieces if he’d let me.

“Come in my mouth.”

He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. The sight of him like that makes desire gnaw at my insides.

“Please Stef, I wanna taste you.”

“ Fuck… if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.”

I get back to work, using his breath and the way he’s grinding his hips to guide me.

Beads of pre-cum turn into dribbles, before he’s unloading, filling my mouth.

I keep sucking as I try to swallow it all, but some escapes from the corners of my lips.

I don’t stop until Stef tells me to. Swallowing what I can and wiping my mouth on the back of my hand before coming up to lie next to him on the pillow.

He’s still catching his breath. Looking up at the ceiling with a faraway look in his eyes like he’s seeing stars.

“I’m gonna owe you so many orgasms when you get the all clear.” He pants.

“You don’t owe me shit.” I laugh. “I like making you come.”

He turns his head and looks at me. “One more day?”

“Yeah, one more day.”