Page 11

ALEXEI

I thought I could hear banging. I told myself it was a dream, but now I can definitely hear voices. Someone shouting.

I try to ignore it, thinking it’s the neighbors out in the hallway, but it’s definitely closer than that, and then I recognize Stef’s voice.

I get up and throw a shirt on before going out to see what all the noise is about.

There’s some guy standing in the doorway and Stef looks like he’s trying to close the door in his face, but he’s jammed his foot in the door so he can’t. When I get closer, I recognize him as that asshole Stef was arguing with in the street. This fuckin guy!

“What’s the problem?”

Stef’s head snaps in my direction. He looks fucking scared. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you-”

Is he scared of me or this asshole?

“Is this guy bothering you?” I ask before he can apologize anymore. He obviously didn’t invite this asshole here, so what’s he got to apologize about?

“Who are you?” The guy asks.

“Who the fuck are you ?”

The guy looks taken aback, like no one ever spoke to him like that before.

“I’m Stef’s boyfriend,” he says.

Before I can say anything, Stef cuts in. “We broke up and I told you to leave me alone.”

I immediately go on high alert.

“We had a little disagreement.” The guy says. “But I’m here to talk to him.”

I look at Stef. He looks like he’s gonna start crying.

Heart pounding in my ears like I’m about to skate out onto the ice, I step around him so I’m between him and this jackass.

“Doesn’t look like he wants to talk to you, so why don’t you get your foot the fuck out of my door before I put mine up your ass.”

He’s surprised enough for me to slam the door in his face.

I wait a second to see if he’s gonna start pounding on the door.

If he wakes my neighbors up, I’ll have to go out there and throw him out myself.

I listen until I hear his footsteps heading towards the stairway.

When I turn around, Stef looks like he’s gonna cry. “Alexei, I am so sorry-”

“You okay?” I step closer, but stop myself from getting close enough to touch him.

He swallows and nods, but he looks shaken up.

“Sure?”

“Yeah, thanks, I’m really sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“I woke you up.”

“No you didn’t, that asshole did.”

He starts biting the nail on his thumb. “I didn’t ask him to come here.”

“I know that.” I shrug. “Doesn’t matter, if he bothers you again, you tell me okay?”

He frowns. “Why?”

“Because you’re my roommate, that’s why.”

He still looks confused. Have I been that much of a dick to him that he doesn’t think I’d have his back? I had his back in the street that day before I even knew him didn’t I? So why wouldn’t I have it now?

“Okay, thanks.”

I head towards my room, think about going back to bed, then change my mind. I’m way too hyped up to sleep right now. “You want coffee?”

“Let me make it.” He says.

“No, you sit down, I’ll make it.”

He does as I say. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m using my captain voice off the ice.

“So what happened?” I keep my back to him so he can’t see how hot my face has gone. It’s none of my business, I tell myself that, but I feel like I need to know.

“He cheated on me.”

I hiss. Where the fuck did that come from?

“That why you moved out?”

“Yeah.”

I spin around, not caring if my face is red. “He kicked you out?”

“No, it was his dad’s place.”

So he’s a rich asshole then. Even worse.

I turn back to the coffee to distract myself from wanting to hit something.

“You okay?”

He hesitates before answering and I hope to fuck for that asshole’s sake he’s not crying.

“I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Your friend, Alice, she knows about this?”

“Yeah, that’s where I’ve been staying since…”

When I turn around, he’s looking at the back of his hands on the table.

“Fuck that guy,” I say.

He smiles.

“Your parents know about him?”

“No.” He drops his head again, the smile fading. “They don’t know I’m gay.”

“Oh.”

“They religious or something?”

“Orthodox Catholic.”

“Mine too.” Shit.

I turn around, but he’s just nodding.

“Here.”

When I put the coffee down in front of him, he wraps his hands around it like he’s trying to get warm. The way me and Dasha would when our babushka made us cocoa in the winter when the heating in the building was out again.

“I don’t think my parents would disown me or anything like that, I know they love me and they’d accept it, it’s just… I think they’d be worried, maybe even… disappointed.”

I can’t look at him, this is way too close to the bone. I sip my coffee and just nod.

“I will tell them, I was just waiting until after I graduated. I don’t know why then, it just made sense to have a landmark, something to aim for.”

I know exactly what you mean.

“Makes sense.”

He shakes his head. “Anyway, I’m sorry. Here I am after waking you up, unloading all my problems onto you. It won’t be like this all the time, I promise.”

“ You didn’t wake me up, I already told you, and don’t worry about it.”

I try to hold back the yawn, but it lets itself out.

“Do you have classes today?”

“Yeah, but I told you, don’t worry about it.”

“If he comes around here again, what are you gonna do?”

My blood boils at the audacity of it. “If he comes round here again, then he’s even stupider than he looks.”

“I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me.”

Fuck, the way he looks up with those big brown eyes.

I can’t even look at him. And if this is the way he’s used to being treated by that asshole, then I feel even worse about the way I’ve been with him since we met.

Just because I’m scared shitless of how he makes me feel, doesn’t mean he deserves this kind of treatment.

“I won’t do anything stupid. I’ll give him a wedgie or something. That’s not illegal right?”

He laughs. Fuck , it’s a nice sound.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

When I tell Mischa about Alice saying yes to his date he literally jumps in his skates. Coach shouts at him to stop taking chunks out of his rink.

He makes a face like shit and I laugh at his stupid ass.

“How long have you liked this girl?”

He shakes his head. “Oh man, ages.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to her?”

He tries to rub the back of his neck, but realizes he’s still wearing his gloves.

“She’s just… you know, and I’m… I don’t know.”

I slap him on the back. “Yep, good talk man.”

I try to skate off, but he calls me back. “Where should I take her?”

“I told Stef to get her to choose.”

“Good shout. I’m so bad at these things.”

“I know. By the way, I hope you like heavy metal music.”

“Huh?”

I laugh at the expression on his face as I skate away.

For a minute there, I forgot about the fact this is fucking everything. That we have back-to-back games this weekend and that we need the points to make the play-offs.

Fucking Stef and his cute little distractions.

Thursday night’s set for our ‘date.’ While Stef gets dressed in his room, I pace the living room, reminding myself that I’m not going on a real date. Mischa and Alice are. We’re just ‘chaperoning’ or whatever.

But when he comes out of his room wearing a nice shirt and jeans with his hair tied back, showing a long, lean neck and giving better access to his face with those pretty features, my palms start sweating like it is us going on a date, and I am so unprepared it’s ridiculous.

“Have I got toothpaste on my face?” The self-conscious way he touches his face only makes him more attractive dammit.

“No, you look fine.” I stop looking before I give myself away.

Alice drives over and picks us up in her little Fiat.

I hear my dad’s voice in my head telling me I shouldn’t be getting girls to pick me up for dates, but tell him it’s not my date.

I’m just tagging along. I’m a chaperone.

It’s the gentlemanly thing to do. I’m sure my old-fashioned dad would approve of multiple men chaperoning a lady’s date with a hockey player she’s never met.

Even if Pawlowski is like a big, harmless Labrador.

Stef gets in the passenger seat and I thank God that Alice is petite so my legs aren’t crushed against my chest in the seat behind her.

When Pawlowski comes out of the house, he’s wearing this expression on his face like he’s about to be taken out and shot.

For some reason, it makes me jealous. I have never felt that nervous about anything outside of hockey.

Okay, maybe sometimes, when I’d logon to Bookgeeks and see a message from horror boy. But in real life? Never.

He smells like he took a bath in Davidoff Cool Waters when he climbs into the backseat beside me. Glancing nervously at Alice like she’s a hand grenade that might go off at any second.

“Hey man.” He says to me. “You look nice.”

“Um… yeah, thanks, you too.”

I slap him on the arm, just so he knows I wasn’t checking him out or anything.

Stef and Alice giggle and share one of those knowing glances only people who’ve been close for years can share.

“Hey Alice, you look nice too. And you Stef.” Mischa says.

Alice’s knowing grin drops and she blushes.

“Thanks, you too.”

Niceties out of the way, Alice starts driving us to the gig venue she’s picked out for tonight.

Apparently the music screaming through the speakers is a taste of what we’re gonna get.

I don’t like to judge books by their covers, but I always thought people who like heavy metal music dress a certain way.

Every time I see Alice, she’s dressed like… well, like a rich student. Preppy in college merch and cable knit sweaters.

Tonight, she’s wearing a black dress and her straight black hair is worn down around her shoulders, but there’s none of the black lipstick or nail polish or piercings you’d expect from someone who listens to music like this.

“Where’s this bar again?”

“Williamsburg,” Alice says. “Alexei, you’re from Brooklyn right?”

“Yeah, but Williamsburg’s full of posers.”

Is my asshole switch on automatic or something?

Alice laughs and I catch Stef roll his eyes.

“Where are you from Alice?” Pawlowski asks.

“Connecticut.”

“Oh, cool.”