Page 43 of Three Not-So-Little Words (The Lawson’s #3)

forty-three

Cupcakes

Drew

I hate being sick.

I know that everyone says that, but really, I hate it.

When I was fighting, I treated my body like a temple–well, aside from the whole having people beat me up every couple of weeks.

I ate ridiculously healthy and worked out constantly.

Taking such good care of myself ensured that I hardly ever got sick.

Being sick as a single dad hits different, though. Knowing that someone else depends on you, and you still have to show up for them.

When I got up this morning, I felt like death warmed over.

I was prepared to do what I needed to. I had no idea that Ronnie would intervene and tell me that she had it taken care of.

I never meant to put that on her. While I appreciate the gesture, I don’t want to do anything that may potentially be too much and push her away.

As I went back to bed, there was a voice in my head that worried if she would be okay or not. But as soon as my head hit the pillow, exhaustion took over, and I fell asleep.

That was all she wrote.

When I finally open my eyes again, I see that it’s already dark outside.

Although I still feel like shit, I think the medicine is starting to kick in, I don’t feel quite as bad as I did this morning.

I listen for anything I can hear coming out of the living room. I hear the TV on, but that’s about it.

I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.

Should I be worried?

I decide to sneak out and try to get a glimpse of what’s going on. As quietly as I can, I leave the bedroom and head toward the living room. A noise in the kitchen grabs my attention.

Standing around the corner, I peek around to get a look at what’s going on.

Ronnie stands at the center island counter with Colton next to her, standing on a chair to be tall enough to reach. There’s something in front of her, but I can't make out what it is.

“Alright Colton, are we ready to decorate our cupcakes?”

Cupcakes?

He smiles and nods.

“What color do you want to make this one?” She asks.

“Uhm…” He thinks.

“What was your mom’s favorite color?”

“Red, I think.”

“Red, it is.”

Now, I am even more confused, but I decide to keep watching to try to figure out what’s going on.

They start icing one of the cupcakes. She lets Colton do the majority of the work, just guiding him along the way.

She asks, “Do you think your mom would like these cupcakes?”

“Yeah,” he replies without losing his concentration on the job at hand.

“Me too. I think she would love that you’re the one making them for her.”

I still am confused as to what Natalie has to do with any of this, but it quickly becomes clear when she asks, “What did you and Daddy normally do for Mommy’s birthday?”

Fuck!

I completely forgot that her birthday was today. He must have seen the sticker on the calendar. This is the first birthday of hers that we have had since she passed. I told myself we would do something special, and I get fucking sick.

Great.

Colton shrugs his shoulders. “We would get her flowers and a cake.”

“That sounds nice. I would’ve loved that for my birthday, so I’m sure she loved it too.”

He asks, “When is your birthday?”

“My birthday is in the middle of summer. So, we are still a little ways away. It’s in June.”

“Me too!” He exclaims.

“Whoa!” She matches his level of excitement. “What day?”

“June tenth.”

“Mine is the fifteenth!”

He smiles.

“Do you like to swim?” She asks him.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe next year, we can have a pool party together.”

“Yeah!”

She’s already talking about next year? That has to be a good sign, right?

They go quiet for a moment until Colton asks, “Ronnie, why are we making cupcakes for Mommy if she’s not around to eat them?”

My heart breaks a little. It’s not fair that his mom isn’t around to see how much more amazing he becomes every day.

She messes with the spatula in the leftover batter as she talks. “Because although your mom may not be here with you, I’d like to think that she is still here with you in spirit. And I think that she is so happy watching over you and knowing that you’re thinking about her on her birthday.”

When he doesn’t say anything she keeps going, “I think it’s important to always do things to remember the people that we’ve lost. We can make your mom cupcakes to remind us of her and remind us of all the good times you had with her.”

“Did your mom die too?” He asks.

“No,” she pauses a moment. “But I lost a really good friend of mine a long time ago. I still try to do things that honor his memory.”

As he still works on his cupcake, he says in a low voice, “I really miss her.”

Even from here, I can hear the emotion welling up inside him. I want to run over there and comfort him so badly, but I also don’t want to ruin this moment between the two of them. If I want them to have a genuine bond, I need to let them cultivate that rather than jumping in at every turn.

She takes the icing from him and sets him on the counter. “Hey kid, look at me.”

He does, and she says, “I know you miss her. And that’s okay. You should always miss her. But you just always have to remember that she loved you so much, and more than anything, she just wants you to have a good life and to be happy. And you know what I’m sure would make her really happy?”

“What?”

“Knowing that you’re pigging out on icing.” She takes a giant dollop of it on her finger and plops it on Colton’s nose.

That gets him giggling. “Ronnie! You’re so silly!”

“I’m so silly? I’m not the one with icing all over my nose.”

Both of them laugh, and I decide to walk away and let them be. I just wanted to make sure that everything was going alright, but I don’t want to spy and invade this great moment the two of them are having.

I feel bad for doubting Ronnie.

When will I learn that Veronica Lawson is always going to keep me on my toes? She is always going to be the absolute best kind of surprise.