Page 28 of Three Not-So-Little Words (The Lawson’s #3)

twenty-eight

More Surprises

Ronnie

R eaching over to the bed next to me, I feel for Drew. But all my fingertips grasp are cold sheets. I sit up and rub my eyes, trying to wake up so that I can go find him and squeeze in a round two…and maybe rounds three and four as well.

When I’m finally able to open my eyes, I have to blink them a couple of times to see if I’m hallucinating.

There is a small child standing in the doorway, staring at me. I’m wondering if this is like a creepy ghost kid from The Shining.

But then, it speaks. “Who are you?”

“Ronnie,” I answer. “Who are you?”

“Colton. Where’s my dad?”

Dad? No fucking way.

Realizing I’m still in lingerie, I pull the covers up and tightly clutch them under my chin.

“Drew!” I call. “Drew, I need you to come here. Right now!”

He comes running out of the bathroom. “Ronnie, what’s wrong?”

I point to the doorway. When he sees what I do, his eyes get big.

“Colton, bud, what are you doing home?”

“Grandma was sick and dropped me off. She tried calling you.”

He grabs his phone off the nightstand. “Yeah, I guess she did.”

Looking from me to the kid, he appears to be completely lost for words.

“Hey, how about I fix you a bowl of cereal and turn on some superheroes?”

Without waiting for a reply, he scoops the boy into his arms and walks out of the room. Meanwhile, I sit in complete shock until he comes back.

When he returns, he shuts the door behind him.

“Okay, please don’t freak out,” he begins.

“Why would I freak out? You have a kid–at least I’m assuming that’s your kid. That’s not important information at all! ” I cry.

“To be honest, I tried to tell you quite a few times.”

“Like when? I don’t remember any of those.”

“Remember all those times when I said I needed to tell you something, and you said you didn’t want to hear it because this whole thing was casual?”

That makes me pause for a moment. “While I may have said that, maybe this could have been the exception. You had to know that this issue was going to come up eventually.”

“Okay, let’s not call my son an issue, alright? No matter how pissed you are at me.”

I nod. “Sorry.”

“Of course, I was going to tell you. Hell, when you showed up here last night, I was going to tell you, but we had sex. Then, I was going to tell you afterward, but you fell asleep.”

“So, this is my fault?” I ask.

“Of course not. It’s my fault. I know I should have brought it up a million times. But there was also a small voice in my head telling me that the moment you found out, this whole thing would be over.”

A million questions run through my mind, and I don’t know where to begin.

I finally settle on, “Where has your kid been when we’ve been hanging out?”

“He goes with his grandma on the weekends,” He says.

“Where is his mom? Am I going to wake up to her next?”

“No. His mom isn’t in the picture anymore.”

I rub my face. “I just can’t believe you’re a dad.”

“Ronnie, I’m the same guy I was last night.”

“Not quite.” I stand up and look around for my heels. “I can’t believe this. I came here last night, ready to open myself up and give this whole thing a chance. And this is exactly why that was a mistake. Something always happens.”

“Does something always happen? Or do you just always wait for something to happen?” He asks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean that you and I have been having a great time. We have this great connection, but every time I try to get a little closer, you remind me that it’s just casual. It’s like you look for a reason for it to fail.”

“That is so not true,” I defend. “I should’ve known better.”

“Ronnie, I’m sorry. Not telling you was wrong. But it doesn’t change things between us. We can still hang out on weekends and do everything we were doing before.”

I can barely comprehend anything that he’s saying because my mind is running in circles.

“I can’t deal with this right now,” I say.

“Please don’t go. Stay here, and we can talk about it. Please.”

As if right on cue, his kid calls, “Dad, can I have more cereal?”

I stare at him. “Look, go be a dad. We can talk about this later after I’ve had time to think and time to drink. Really, go.”

“Let me give you a ride home.”

“No, that’s okay. Just get me my coat so that your son doesn’t see me half-naked. I’m sure we’ve all been traumatized enough for one day.”

“Do you always come here when you’re upset?” Dylan asks, finding me at the falls.

“Not only when I’m upset,” I say without looking at him. “Why are you here?”

“Drew texted Jack saying you left pretty upset. Jack texted me. We are all worried about you.”

“Did you know?” I ask.

“Depends.”

“On?”

“On how mad you’re going to be if I say yes.”

“Dylan,” I warn.

“Okay, yes I knew.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” I still don’t look at him.

“I tried. But you didn’t want to hear it.”

“You sound just like him.”

He comes over and takes a seat on the rock next to me. “Ronnie, I’m going to say some things to you that you may not like.”

“Go home, Dylan.”

“Not a chance. Because you need to hear them.”

I roll my eyes and sigh.

“Veronica, you are a woman who grabs life by the balls and lives every day like her last. And I know why. I’m not saying that’s a bad way to live your life.

But in trying to keep everything fun and fresh, I think sometimes, you dismiss the idea that anything permanent could be a good thing.

You’re so busy trying to find the new and exciting that you can’t fathom that maybe the every-day small stuff may be good too.

I fell in love with Leah doing the little things—watching movies, talking, laughing.

Can you admit to me that maybe you enjoyed those times with Drew too? ”

I still keep my eyes forward. I know the moment I look at Dylan, the tears from my eyes will spill over.

“Maybe,” I mumble.

“Ronnie, if every single day is extraordinary, that means none of them truly are. I’ve watched you travel the world.

You’ve been to the most exotic places. I’m sure my experiences can’t hold a candle to yours.

You’ve met many men, but I’ve never heard you say you wanted to see them again.

Let me rephrase. I’ve never heard you say you wanted to see them outside of the bedroom. ”

“Dylan, what’s your point?”

“My point is that I haven’t seen you have this kind of connection with a man in a very long time. I think that means something.”

“I have no clue what to do with a man who has a kid,” I tell him.

“No, you have no clue what to do with a baby. Drew’s kid is old enough to tell you what he wants or needs. Just treat him like a person, and you’ll be fine.”

“And if I’m not?”

“That’s what therapy is for when he gets older.”

“You’re not funny,” I pause. “I just feel like I finally opened myself up, and he lied.”

“Ronnie, I know it doesn’t make it right. But he told you why he kept it from you. I think part of it was that he was scared to lose you because you’re so closed off. Do you think maybe it’s about time you tell him why you’re so hard to get close to?”

I finally look at him as the tears start to fall. “I’m scared.”

He wraps his arms around my shoulders. “I know. But you’re Veronica fucking Lawson. You’ve got this. I’m not saying you need to marry the guy. Just talk to him and be open to trying something new like you’ve always been.”

“Maybe I can do that.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“You’re welcome. How about we go get some coffee? I left Luna with Mom so that I could come here. I told her my twin ESP told me where you were.”

“You think she’ll ever figure out that we just share our locations on our phones?”

“God, I hope not.”