Page 42 of Three Not-So-Little Words (The Lawson’s #3)

forty-two

You look like Shit

Ronnie

T he following morning, I wake up on the couch. Apparently, I fell asleep out here last night and never bothered to move to the bedroom. I faintly remember Drew trying to wake me, but I was too exhausted to get up.

Slowly, I sit up as every muscle in my body screams at me. They aren’t used to that much work in such a short amount of time.

I glance at the clock and see that it’s only six AM. The only time I’ve ever seen six AM is when I have a super early flight to catch or when I’ve stayed up the whole night before. Neither of which I’ve done in quite some time.

I’m the only one awake, and I want to keep it that way. No one else needs to see this time of day if at all possible. That being said, I need to take a shower. Not taking one in a couple of days coupled with all the work I did is not a good combination.

I’m not one of those girls who they think smell like roses all the time. Far from it. Me taking a shower is a public service at this point.

As quietly as I can, I sneak into the bedroom and head straight for the master bathroom. Drew is snoring like crazy, so I think I’m safe. I make my shower as quick as possible while still washing my hair and making myself smell better.

When I’m done, I put on a T-shirt and some leggings. Do you know how hard it is to put on leggings in a steamy bathroom? Trying to slip them over my thighs is like trying to wrestle two pigs. At this rate, I’ll be sweaty all over again before I even get out of the bathroom.

Once I am finally dressed, I quietly make my way back to the living room. First, I stop by the kitchen. There’s a note on the counter from Drew.

Ronnie,

If you wake up hungry, there’s leftover pizza in the fridge.

-D

Don’t mind if I do.

I open the door and grab the pizza. Without even warming it up, I bite into the cold slice.

Still delicious.

I’ve just finished my second slice when a sleepy Colton walks out of his bedroom and joins me on the couch.

“Morning, little dude,” I say.

“Hi.”

Something suddenly occurs to me. “Whoa, Colton, did you sleep in your own bed all night?”

He is still pretty tired and confused, but he manages to nod.

“Woo-hoo!” I throw my arms up in the air, unable to hide my excitement.

Maybe Drew and I can have some uninterrupted alone time tonight.

I flip through the channels and find some cartoons to amuse Colton. I get sucked into the show right along with him when he asks, “Ronnie, can I have something to eat?”

“Uh, sure. What do you want?” I ask, praying it won’t be something off the wall that I have no idea how to make.

“Cereal.”

Thank God.

See how much easier kids are than babies? He told me exactly what he wanted.

I walk into the kitchen and make him a bowl of the chocolate cereal in the cabinet and pour some milk over the top before bringing it over to him and setting it on the coffee table.

“Why don’t you sit on the floor?” I tell him. “So that you don’t get anything on the couch.”

Good lord, who the fuck am I turning into? My mother–that’s who.

When he’s finished eating, he stands up to take his bowl to the sink without being told.

Do most kids do that? I feel like most kids wouldn’t do that.

I don’t remember Eve being so considerate.

Then again, I wasn’t around for a big chunk of Eve’s childhood.

I was still a young teenager when she was born, and then, as she got older, I was traveling all the time.

I got to be the fun aunt that just popped in and spoiled them before leaving again.

Maybe I can be a little more present for my other two nieces, Beth and Luna. That is, after they get out of the cranky baby phase.

As I look at Colton, I can’t help but think that Drew and Colton’s mom have done a pretty good job with him so far. I wonder what his mom was like. Was she anything like me? Probably not. She seemed to be a pretty good mom, so that probably makes her the exact opposite of me.

He pulls me from my thoughts when he asks, “Do you want to come play with me in my room?”

While that doesn’t exactly sound like fun, I feel slightly honored that he wants to spend time with me.

“Sure. But we have to try to be quiet because your dad is still sleeping.”

He smiles and nods. Once in his room, we start playing with some of his toy cars, putting them on the racetrack and seeing which one will win.

I have no idea how long we are doing it before I notice Drew standing in the doorway.

“Oh, hey,” I say. “Sorry. Did we wake you?”

“No,” he sniffles.

I take another look at him. “Drew, honey, I don’t want you to take any offense to this, but you look like shit.”

“Yeah, Dad, you look like shit.”

I purse my lips together, realizing my mistake. I lean over to Colton. “Maybe don’t say that word…at least not in front of your dad.”

He smiles and nods.

Turning my attention back to Drew, I say, “But for real, are you okay? You don’t look great.”

“I’m no longer thinking that I have allergies. Pretty sure I’m sick.”

“Oh no!” I say. “What are your symptoms?”

“Sore throat. Stuffy nose. Aches and chills. I feel like death. Man, Sandy picked a heck of a weekend to have a colonoscopy.” He turns his attention to Colton. “Hey, bud. Give me just a minute, and I will make you some breakfast.”

“I already fixed him cereal,” I tell him.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Ronnie. I didn’t realize I had slept in like that. I didn’t mean for you to have to take care of him.”

I hold my hand up. “Drew, I made him some cereal. It’s not a big deal.”

“Still.”

“Drew, why don’t you go back to bed and get some sleep?”

He shakes his head. “I can’t do that. I don’t want you to have to look after Colton all day. It’s not fair to you.”

“I’m going to say this as nicely as possible. You look like a walking germ. I’m sure you don’t want to get either one of us sick with whatever it is that you have. That requires you to not be quite so close to us.”

He thinks for a moment. “I just feel bad.”

“You’re going to feel worse if you get us sick. I’ll make sure of that fact because I am super whiny and annoying.”

I can see him having an internal battle, so I add, “Colton and I will be fine. Won’t we, little dude?”

Colton nods before going back to playing.

“I promise if I need any help, I will come get you. Really, I think we will be fine. He’s old enough to tell me what he wants, and although I may not cook, I dang sure know how to order some takeout.”

“Are you sure?”

I glare at him. “If you ask me that one more time, I’m going to kick your ass.”

“Okay, okay. I will go back to bed.”

“I’ll check on you later to see if you need anything,” I tell him, although I really don’t want to get sick.

As he walks out of the room, I look at Colton, “Looks like it’s just me and you today, kid. What do you think we should do?”

“Play!”

“That’s what I thought.”

Colton and I spend a good part of our day bouncing around from thing to thing, playing and then taking breaks to watch TV. For lunch, I managed to find some corndogs in the freezer to feed him, and I ate a TV dinner. I figure I’ll put more effort into dinner.

I thought hanging out with Colton for the whole day without Drew would be weird, but it hasn’t been too bad. It’s been just like hanging out with Eve when she was little. I don’t dwell too much on the fact that it’s my boyfriend’s kid.

I don’t want to go down that spiral of figuring out what it all means.

So, for now, we will just have fun as I avoid thinking about it too much.

We are having a pretty good time when Colton walks into the kitchen to grab a juice box out of the fridge. When he looks at the calendar that’s hung up, his entire demeanor changes.

“Colton,” I ask as he walks back over to the couch with his head hanging.

When he doesn’t answer me, I follow him. “What’s wrong? Did you see something on the calendar?”

He nods.

“What was it?”

“The birthday cake sticker.”

I’m confused, so I ask, “Who’s birthday is it?”

Barely loud enough to hear, he says, “My mom’s.”

Well, fuck.

“Aw, I’m sorry, Colton. I know you must really miss her, huh?”

He nods, and I see his eyes welling up with tears. While the kid thing may be uncharted territory for me, grief isn’t. That’s something I’m well-versed in. Over the years, I’ve had to learn how to deal with the loss of Aaron and try to honor his memory. Maybe Colton and I can do that for his mom.

“Come on, little dude. I’ve got an idea.”