Page 15 of Three Not-So-Little Words (The Lawson’s #3)

fifteen

Ignorance is Bliss

Ronnie

“ H ey there, Aaron,” I whisper as the cool wind whips around me. I take a deep breath, inhaling the crisp Autumn morning.

“I missed you,” I say to the vast nothingness around me.

I shouldn’t say nothingness. There is a ton of gorgeous nature around me. But I’m the only one here to enjoy it.

I’m all alone and talking to myself. Anyone who would see me right now would probably think I’m crazy.

I guess it’s a good thing there’s no one else around.

I look up at this large waterfall that sits on the other side of the lake.

Yes, Lilly Leaf Falls actually has a waterfall. It’s just tucked in the middle of the woods. Most people would never guess that it’s here. Out of all the places I love around this town, this is my absolute favorite.

Back in the day, I would come here with my absolute favorite person.

Now, I come here alone. But I love it all the same. And just because that person may not be here doesn’t mean I can’t still talk to him.

“How have you been?” I ask even though I know I’ll never get an answer. “Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve been back. I couldn’t get away from work.”

I pause a second. “That’s a lie. I could have gotten away. I just didn’t want to. I love my job. You would’ve loved it too. Remember when we used to talk about traveling the world together?”

Memories flash through my mind of things that used to be. Just the thought of them used to bring me instantly to tears. But now, I choose to remember them with joy rather than sorrow.

I stare at the waterfall, getting mesmerized by the constant rushing flow. It’s loud, but I’m far enough away that I can still hear the sounds of the crickets and other critters around me. Somehow, this place is loud and quiet all at the same time.

I love it.

Most of the time, my life is constantly moving. I don’t sit still for long, always moving from one fun and exciting thing to the next. While I enjoy it that way, it’s nice to come here and slow down every once in a while.

I pull my jacket around me a little tighter as I try to stave off the chill seeping into my bones. I love Lilly Leaf Falls at Christmas, but the road to get there is cold and wet. Usually, I’d wear a much heavier coat, but I wasn’t thinking this morning.

Right about now, I’m missing the sunshine of Brazil…or Miami.

The mere thought of Miami brings Drew to the forefront of my mind.

It isn’t very often that I sleep with a guy more than once. Usually, I’m not around long enough for that to even be a possibility. And let’s be honest, I don’t want a round two with some of them because round one wasn’t all that great.

Drew was fun. And the sex was fucking incredible.

We made an arrangement to get together next weekend, and I’m already thinking about it. I’d love to take another ride on that.

I’m not wanting anything serious, but now that I’m back, I wouldn’t mind having a local fuck buddy. Especially one who can fuck like that.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out to see Dylan’s face flashing on the screen.

“Hey, Dyl,” I answer

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Ronnie, are you at the falls?”

“What makes you think that?” I ask.

“Because I can hear the loud waterfall in the background.”

“Okay, you got me.”

He falls silent for a moment as if figuring out what to say. “You haven’t been back there in a while.”

“Yeah. Too long.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just came out here to think…like I always do.”

He jokes. “You thinking is what worries me.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“How about you take a break from your thinking and come have breakfast with me?”

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I tease.

“It’s my day off. Leah is at work, and Luna and I are bored. Come over, and I’ll make pancakes.”

“Eh, I don’t know.” I pretend to think about it.

“How about I make mimosas?”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” I laugh. “See you soon.”

When I hang up, I take a few more minutes to enjoy the view. I don’t think I’ll ever stop coming here. It’s my solace when the world flips upside down. My place to get some clarity when I feel stuck.

I make a silent vow to come here more often now that I’ll be around more.

I get up to leave, but before I walk away, I say, “See you soon, Aaron.”

Half an hour later, Dylan is handing me a mimosa.

“Thank you,” I say. “It’s pretty impressive that you made these with only one hand while you held your baby.”

He smiles. “It’s a talent. Lately, she’s been wanting to be held constantly.”

“Why?”

“Leah said she’s teething.”

“Already? Seems soon,” I say like I have the first clue about babies.

He nods. “That’s what I said. But Leah has the bite marks to prove it.”

“Dear God.”

With Luna still in hand, he sits down across from me. “So, what are you going to do now that you’re home?”

“I have no fucking clue.”

“You could always go help Mom and Dad at the bar.”

“I could.”

He laughs. “I do have something that may interest you.”

“If it’s babysitting your clingy child, the answer is no.”

“No, surprisingly, I’m not looking to hire you as our nanny. That would be like hiring the witch from Hansel and Gretel. Or Maleficent.”

I could be offended, but why bother? He has a point.

“What is the thing you think I’d be interested in?”

“Well, Liz is trying to increase tourism coming to the inn.” He pauses to readjust Luna who is fussing again.

When Liz moved back to town, she worked and lived at the town inn. When the owner was ready to sell, Liz found a way to buy it. She’s spent the past couple of years remodeling it and making it her own.

Once Luna is comfortable, Dylan goes on. “Anyway, Liz is wanting to redo her brochures for the inn and also redesign the website to highlight things around town. I’m sure she could use a kickass photographer for that. I don’t know what the pay is like.”

“Eh, you know I don’t give a shit about that.”

Truth be told, I’m not hurting for money. I’ve been paid decently for the better part of a decade and have had no real expenses aside from a short-lived apartment. That’s allowed me to build a decent nest egg for myself.

I say, “I’m just happy it would give me something to do. I’d do it for free.”

“Careful, sis. Everyone might see how big of a heart you have.”

“No one would believe it.” I wink.

“Alright, Ronnie, give it to me straight. Why are you home? I mean, I’m thrilled that you are, but it’s so unlike you. Did something happen?”

“No, nothing happened. I still love my job.”

“Then, why now?”

I think for a minute. “Do you remember a couple months ago when you and Leah took that short trip to Portland, and you left Luna with Mom?”

He looks confused. “Yeah.”

“When you got back, you felt like you missed an eternity because Luna rolled over for the first time while you were gone?”

He nods.

“That’s what it’s always like for me. I love seeing the world, but when I come home, it’s sometimes hard to compute exactly how much I’ve missed.

In the past few years, Liz moved back and met Jack, you met Leah, and I’ve gained two new nieces.

I’ve always loved the relationship I’ve had with Eve.

I’d like to have that same bond with Luna and Beth.

It’s hard to do that when I’m never here. ”

“So, you do want to babysit?” He jokes.

“Maybe when they’re old enough to tell me what they want. Until then, they’re too needy.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m really happy you’re back.”

“Alright, alright. Don’t get all sappy on me.”

He grins. “There’s the smartass we all know and love. So, where did you end up disappearing to after the wedding? Did all of the commitment talk have you breaking out in hives?”

“Now, who’s the smartass?” I tease. “I ended up hooking up with a friend of Jack’s.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you actually know him. He’s about to start at the shop. Drew?”

He thinks for a second before putting two and two together. “You hooked up with Drew? Do you know anything about him?”

“I know he’s got a nice dick and knows how to use it.”

He scrunches his face in disgust. “Gross. Do you know anything else?”

“No. And I don’t really want to.”

“Why not?” He asks.

“The more you know, the more complicated things get. I’m not looking for complicated. I’m looking for fun. That’s it.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“Probably. Just for some more fun.”

“And you don’t want to know anything else about him?”

I shake my head. “Nope. Wait, is he married?”

“No. Not married, but—”

I stop him. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss.”

“But—”

“Dylan, no. Just let me do my thing.” When he goes to open his mouth again, I add, “If you don’t stop, I’ll tell you all about the sex…every excruciating detail.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll leave it alone.”

"Good. Now, I’m pretty sure you promised me some pancakes.”