Page 35 of Three Not-So-Little Words (The Lawson’s #3)

thirty-five

I’m a Walking Contradiction

Ronnie

“ H ey, Mom. What’s up?” I say, opening the door and seeing her standing on my porch.

“I thought we could chat for a minute.”

I step out of the way so that she can come inside. “Okay, but we have to make it quick. I’m supposed to be at Drew’s for dinner.”

“How’s that going?” She asks.

“Alright, I guess. Taking it slow.”

She watches as I walk around and try to finish getting ready. “That’s actually what I came here to talk to you about.”

I sigh. “What is there to say?”

“You’re dating a guy with a kid. I think there’s a lot to say.”

“Mom,” I begin, but she doesn’t let me get far.

“How about you give me five minutes, and then, I’ll get out and let you get on with your night?”

I sit down across from her. “Okay. Five minutes.”

“First, I want to say I’m proud of you for stepping outside your comfort zone and trying something different.”

“Mom, I didn’t cherry pick someone with a kid to try something different.”

“I wasn’t referring to someone who has a kid. I was referring to you dating someone in general.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. What’s the point?”

“The point is while I am proud of you for starting a relationship, I think you’re in for a wake-up call when it comes to being with someone who has a kid.”

“I’m already figuring that out.”

She pauses for a moment as if meticulously choosing her words. “Veronica, when you have a child, that child becomes your whole world—at least, they should. I can tell that is the case with Drew and his son.”

“Agreed. Get to the point, Mom. You’re running out of time.”

She clears her throat. “To put it bluntly, I know how much you like to be the center of attention. When you’re dating a man with a kid, more often than not, that boy will be the center of attention. And if it comes down to a choice, Drew will pick Colton over you.”

I blankly stare at her. “Duh, Mom. I understand that Drew is a father. I got the hint when I heard Colton calling him Dad.”

“Will you cut the sarcasm and shut up for a minute?”

I give another sigh but don’t say anything.

“I know how you live your life, flying from one thing to the next. But there is someone else involved now—a kid. A kid who has no idea how you usually are. The main thing kids understand is who is there and who isn’t.

If you aren’t serious, please don’t get close to the kid.

The longer you stick around, the harder it will be if you leave. ”

I hear what she’s saying, and I get it. It’s something that I’ve already thought of.

A lot.

“Mom, I appreciate your concern for Colton. I would expect nothing less from you. And I have considered all of this quite a bit. But I think there’s something you need to consider too.”

“What’s that?”

“How many serious relationships have I been in during my adult life?”

“None,” she replies.

“Before now, would I consider even dating a guy—let alone with a kid?”

“No.”

“Then, I think it’s reasonable to assume that I really like this guy, and it’s not just a fluke. I could have stayed away the second I learned he had a kid, but I didn’t. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’m willing to try.”

She starts to say something, but I stop her.

“And for the record, right now, Colton just thinks he and I are just friends. Nothing more.”

She lets out a small chuckle. “That may be true, but I doubt it will be true for long. Kids are smart and figure things out pretty darn quick.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I tell her.

“Okay, I just wanted to come give you my two cents. Save it or spend it how you like.”

Oh, my mother and her witty little sayings.

Standing from her chair, she says, “Have fun tonight. Tell Drew I said hi.”

“Will do. Are you headed home for the night?”

“Your dad has some of his old friends staying with us for a couple of weeks, so you know what that means.”

“You’re going to be working at the bar more than usual?”

“Bingo!”

“Sorry, I’m late,” I tell Drew as I take off my jacket and shoes. “My mom stopped by for a few.”

“No worries. Dinner will be a few more minutes.”

“What are we having?”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“Sounds great.”

“I just have a couple more things to do. You can hang out in the living room with Colton if you want.”

I stare at him for a second. “Without you?”

He smiles. “I mean, I’ll be right here. Ten feet away.”

Half an hour ago, I was telling my mom that I was comfortable with dating a father. Now, I’m freaking out to be alone with his kid for a few minutes?

I’m a walking contradiction.

Sounds about right.

I take a deep breath and walk toward the couch where Colton is hanging upside down off of it, watching TV.

“Hey, Colton,” I greet.

He looks up at me. “Hi.”

“Remember me?” I ask.

He nods.

“What are you watching?”

“Spiderman.”

“He’s a pretty cool superhero,” I say. “Does it look cooler upside down like that?”

He shrugs. “I guess.”

I may know next to nothing about kids, but I do know how to be silly and have fun. So, I take a seat next to him and hang upside down the same way that he is.

I’m suddenly very grateful that I opted for jeans today rather than a dress.

“Hmm. You’re right,” I tell him. “Upside down makes everything look way more interesting.”

He looks at me and gets the biggest grin.

I ask, “Do you think Spiderman sits like this?”

“Yeah,” he says. “He probably hangs with his webs.”

“Oh, like from the ceiling? Good point.”

We watch the movie for a few minutes in silence. Mainly, I’m just trying to decode what’s going on since everything looks funky like this.

Drew walks over and looks at us and smiles. “You two having a good time?”

“Yes,” we answer in unison.

“Well, dinner is ready. Colton, why don’t you go wash your hands?”

He stands up like he hadn’t just been upside down and runs to the bathroom.

“Do I need to wash my hands?” I ask.

“Depends on what you’ve been doing with them,” he jokes.

“Nothing fun.”

He helps me up off the couch, and the blood rushing through my head makes me a little unsteady on my feet.

Drew puts his arms around me to keep me from falling. “You good?”

“Yeah. Just not quite as resilient as a six-year-old.”

“I learned that about myself a while ago.” He laughs.

We all go in and sit around the table where Drew has already dished out the food and has it waiting. We dig in, and just as I expected, it’s delicious. I’d expect nothing less from Drew. It seems like he’s good at everything.

We talk about our days, and Colton does the majority of the chatting. It’s fascinating to hear about the world through the lens of a child. He thinks the smallest things are cool. Maybe I should start living my life like that—celebrating every little thing.

Oh, who am I kidding? I kind of do live my life like that. Maybe not on the same scale, but I find any excuse I can to treat myself based on something good happening.

Am I really just an overgrown child?

Probably.

When we finish eating, Drew walks into the other room to help Colton get ready for bed. Not knowing what to do with myself, I start doing the dishes. I may be a shitty cook, but I can clean a sink full of dishes.

When I’m almost done, I feel Drew’s big hands wrap around me from behind.

“You know, you don’t have to do that.”

“Eh, you fed me. Figure I should make it up to you. It was either this or a blowjob,” I joke.

“Okay, if those are my choices, you’re not allowed to do dishes anymore.”

I let the water out of the sink and am drying my hands when Colton comes back in.

“Ronnie, do you want to see my room?” He asks.

I’m a little surprised but happy he’s asking. “Uh, sure. Lead the way.”

We walk down the hall and into his bedroom. There’s a racecar bed with superhero sheets. There are a couple of organizers that have drawers filled with toys and more totes stacked in the corner.

Drew follows us in and says, “It’s still a work in progress. But it’s coming together.”

I kneel so that I’m on Colton’s level. I’m not sure what the appropriate level of reaction I should have, but I think about how I would want someone to react.

I keep hearing Dylan’s voice in my head.

Just treat him like a person.

“I love it,” I tell him. “What’s your favorite part about it?”

“My racecar bed.”

Drew says, “He loves the bed, but he hardly ever sleeps in it. Most of the time, he ends up in bed with me.”

While I may not know the exact reason why Colton doesn’t want to sleep in here, I can take a guess. This whole move was a huge change I’m sure, and his room still seems a little unfinished. Maybe it doesn’t quite feel like his yet.

I’m not about to say that because chances are, I’m talking out of my ass. I don't have kids. What the fuck do I know?

I hang out a little while longer before heading home for the evening. As I’m about to walk out the door, I hear Colton running down the hall.

“Bye, Ronnie!” He waves at me and smiles.

“Bye, little dude. I’ll see you next time, and I’ll bring pizza.”

“Yes!”

As he runs back to his room, Drew leans down to kiss me.

“You never cease to amaze me,” he says.

I smile. “Just wait until we are alone again. I’ll amaze you even more.”