Page 7 of The Time It Takes

He drew back and studied my face, searching. "When?"he asked bluntly.

"Soon."

He gave me a sober, sad look. "Do you need me there with you?"

I shook my head and looked away from him, feeling the shameful sting of tears. God, he didn't think much of me, did he? Did he think she was going to attack me or something? For pity's sake. I could take care of myself.

It just didn't feel like I was doing a very good job lately. "I'll be fine," I told him, trying to end this conversation with some semblance of self respect left in me.

He didn't say anything.

I sighed. "I'll have to move. We'll have to divide up everything. Tell our families. They'll be so disappointed."

He kept quiet.

"Start dating again, though maybe not for a while." I sighed.

"There's no rush," he said.

"I liked her so much," I complained. "It's not fair. We can't stand to be around each other anymore. Why couldn't it just be easy?"

"I don't think most relationships are easy, but they're also not supposed to be that hard," said my partner, annoyingly correct.

"Well, what about for wolves?"I said. "Don't they get easy relationships?"

"No," said Arlie. "They don't. Maybe sometimes. I don't."

That was certainly true.

I sighed.

He'd been on some okay dates, from what he'd told me, but there was just nothing there. He'd told me it wasn't the gender, but the person he fell for, or didn't. But the fact was, he hadn't been able to find someone he connected with, even when he'd been trying hard.

I'd only ever seen or heard of him dating women, though. Not that it was my business, but sometimes it seemed like he didn't want to actually be bi in practice. You can bet I keptthatparticular thought to myself.

We went inside together to have breakfast with some of his pack mates. I was greeted as always in a friendly manner—good natured pats on the arm, bear hugs, the occasional punch in the shoulder or pinch on the cheek. I didn't mind the physically affectionate nature of the pack. I kind of reveled in it, sometimes. There weren't many places I could go where it seemed like just seeing me arrive made people happy.

We sat down next to each other, crammed in close at a long table. The pack's best cooks had made a hefty meal, starring eggs and ham with French toast and some extras. There was plenty, but they ate like it was a contest. Arlie beside me stayed regal and calm and dished me up what I wanted before serving himself and sitting down to eat at a more measured pace.

I never knew, with Arlie, if he ate in a slow and regal manner to prove something to himself or other people, or if he just didn't like to rush. I didn't feel it was my place to ask why he didn't bolt his food or ever seem to get territorial about it. We ate pressed close together because there wasn't much room. I didn't mind the chaos here, even if I disliked chaos in my life in most ways.

He finished his second plate, almost daintily, and looked at me inquiringly. I shook my head. I was done, too. We got up together.

I knew by now better than to offer to contribute any cash to the pack for what I'd eaten, but helping to clear up was acceptable and appreciated. I headed into the kitchen to help. While I was walking, I thought to check my phone, more a reflex than anything else.

No texts.

Good.

I wasn't looking forward to the conversations ahead.

I thought about it again, as I worked. It seemed odd, in a way, that the things I'd put forward as objections had mostly been about inconvenience and what other people would think. That was strange, wasn't it? Had I just not wanted to tell my partner anything more awkwardly emotional and personal than that?

"Ready to go?"asked Arlie, clapping me on the back. He'd changed into his uniform. He always looked nice in it.

"He hasn't finished helping," said Ellie, who'd joined me right away and was working beside me.

"If we don't go, we'll be late," he said. "You want me to drive? We can leave your car here for today."