Page 19 of The Time It Takes

Anyway, Gary was a nice enough guy, and he always treated me like I mattered, too, so it wasn't that difficult to talk to him when I finally got the chance. I'd been taking a turn at the barbeque, grilling burgers, and he arrived to take over.

It had been a long stream of men taking turns working the grill at full capacity. It was a big grill, way more professional than most backyards would have, but this was a big pack, and that grill earned its keep. We'd be working it for the next hour at least. Don't get me wrong; it was fun. It was a big moment in this pack, when a boy was old enough to work the grill. I felt good that they let me help as well.

I handed him over the grilling implements and stayed by his side for a moment. We were both silent, watching the meat cook, listening to the sizzle. It smelled good. My hair and clothes were going to smell like it until I showered and changed outfits. I knew from experience Arlie would probably lean over at least once and press his nose against my shoulder just to get another good sniff of that delicious smell. I liked the smell, too. It felt like summer and sunshine and happy times with friends. I really did like the pack.

"I wanted to ask you something," I said, holding a plate for him while he took some finished burgers off the grill carefully.

"Okay." He didn't look at me, which made it easier.

"You know Arlie's bi, right?"

"Yes, of course. He told us before he joined." He worked with the sure, capable movements of someone who'd been working a grill for longer than I'd been alive. It was something to watch. I'd have enjoyed it more if I could focus on that, and not my concerns for Arlie.

"It seems like it's been mostly theoretical," I pointed out. "How will you guys feel if it's less theoretical? If he actually starts dating a guy?"

He turned to look at me and blinked. "Is that happening?"

I shrugged. "It might. It might happen. I just want the best for him, but he needs his pack's acceptance more than he needs anything else, I guess."

He turned back to the grill and blinked a couple of times. "Well, you have our blessing, of course. It wouldn't be a complete shock. And you're both welcome here. I don't think there will be any objections, but if there are, I'll have a word."

That was how he handled conflicts—he listened, he had words, and he smoothed things over. I'd never heard of any problems in the pack that hadn't been solved this way. Although sometime in the past, there'd been a member they had to kick out, someone who wasn't willing to abide by the pack's rules. The rules weren't that strict, either—but drug dealing was definitely on the "no" list.

"Yeah, I'm not sure—" I stopped.

Wait, what?

We werebothwelcome here?

I gave him a perplexed look. "Um. I didn't mean I'd be the one dating him. I just wanted to—be sure he'd be okay here if he started..."

I let my voice trail off, because this was getting awkward. I liked Gary, and he seemed to be taking it well, but he'd sounded like he thought I was telling him I had intentions towards Arlie.

This was certainly not the conversation I'd planned to have.

"Oh," said Gary. "In that case, I suppose it would depend on the man." And he didn't seem to have anything else to add to that.

I looked at him for a moment. "Okay," I said. Someone nudged my shoulder, and I moved away to let the next person arrive with a plate of fresh meat. My head seemed to buzz, filled with white noise.

It would depend on the guy. But not, apparently, if that guy was me.