Page 15 of The Time It Takes

"I'm not. I'm almost twenty-two. I've known you for a while now. I'm more grown up than you think."

Her earnest face didn't look it, not to me. Her soft, baby-fat cheeks, her expressions, the way she got clumsy when she was excited. She was cute, she was cheerful, she was good-looking—and to me, she was a kid. Also, to my subconscious, she was weirdly too close to being a relative. Even the idea of dating her felt weird, wrong—not a bit naughty or daring, but wrong in an "ew" way. I didn't want to let her know I found the very idea repulsive, because that would be insulting, but I had to let her know it wasn't going to happen.

"Okay," I said. "That's not as young as I thought. But it's still young to me, and it doesn't mean there's anything there." I gestured awkwardly between us. "You know. Chemistry."

Her expression got sadder as I talked, resigned, with less light in her eyes, very serious now.

God, I wished this conversation were over. A couple of things were finally adding up for me, like how maybe it wasn't just a wolf thing that she was always so close to me. Maybe she'd been having feelings for a while now, and I hadn't noticed them developing.

The thing is, I'd had no clue. Maybe I should have—she always liked hanging out near me, and seemed friendly and playful—but it just hadn't connected in my brain that she saw me that way.

"You're a nice girl, Ellie," I said. "And you're very pretty. You'll find someone, but it won't be me."

"Okay." She nodded once to herself and got up from the dock. She walked away, trying not to look upset. I guess she sort of knew there wasn't anything there—on my end, at least—but she'd still been hoping.

Poor kid. She really was more grown up than I'd thought, to take it as well as that. I hoped she'd be okay.

Chapter seven

"I've been thinkingabout what you said." Arlie tapped his fingers on the wheel, looking about as close to agitated as I ever saw him get.

"Oh?"I said. "The dating thing, or something else?"

"The dating thing."

We were both silent a moment, thinking about that big steaming pile of advice I'd given him. "I should've kept my mouth shut."

"No, it's. It's okay. I'm just. What if you're right?"

About expanding his dating pool beyond blond girls who looked twenty? Or when I'd said he should start dating guys?

"I mean, I won't know if I don't try, right? I haven't actually dated a lot of men. It might be...it might be better. Things obviously aren't working. Maybe if I found somebody for real, the pack would accept it. I mean, it's not like I haven't tried with girls, right?"

He glanced at me self-consciously. "Like would they really stop it, I mean, if it was true love? We're kind of sold on that sort of thing. And if I did find the love of my life, and they were against it, it would be worth leaving the pack, I guess. I mean, who would give up true love for a pack?"

He looked like it might be a hard choice for him, but I didn't say that. I didn't say anything, just looked back at him, wondering what he wanted from me. Was it possible my words had actually made him consider steering his life in a new direction? What kind of power did that mean I had over him? More than his pack, or less? Maybe my irritated words had been the right thing after all, if they made him think this hard.