Page 65 of The Substitute (New York Gods #4)

SAVAGE

Playoffs are just around the corner, but I can’t focus.

Not on hockey, not on school. Not on anything but my the med school acceptances rolling in.

My anxiety about the whole thing spiked when I got into my second choice a few days ago, but waiting for word from my top choice has a whole other kind of hell.

My second choice is a great school. Most people would kill to go to Boston.

But it’s so far away and I don’t want to be a Monster, even if it’s different in grad school.

I just keep going over the scenario where I don’t get into my top choice and I have to leave the city.

Leave both of them when we’re just starting.

It’s the first time in my career I took Coach Hawke up on his offer to leave practice early.

Nothing productive was happening and the last thing I needed was to get in my own head about missing shots.

I walk the few blocks to my place in the cold.

The sun is long set and spring hasn’t found the city yet and the wind seeps into my bones, but it doesn’t bother me.

I don’t have enough space to process the discomfort.

Not with all the anxiety swirling around in my head.

I don’t stop at my place, not sure where I’m going, and a bit aimless, but sitting alone sounds like hell.

I’m not even sure how long it’s been when I’m accosted from behind. I turn around, hands coming up. “What the fuck?” I say before I realize who it is.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Ambrose asks, clearly annoyed.

“Walking? What’s your problem?” I step back, dropping my hands.

Our relationship hasn’t been perfect, but it’s been much easier since we started hooking up.

There was still some jealousy and shit we need to work out, but I’m sure that exists in any relationship, let alone one with more than two people.

“Tobi is fucking worried sick!”

I frown. “Why?”

“Because Rhys told him you left practice early, and you didn’t go there,” he says through his teeth, and it hits me. He was also worried. Enough to be miles away from his campus after practice searching the streets for me.

“I needed some air.”

Ambrose doesn’t say anything for a long while. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just walking.” It’s not that I don’t want to tell him, but it seems irrational.

Like I know I shouldn’t be stressed about where I’m moving, and how that will affect our relationship, but I can’t help but feel like if I leave with things so new, I will get left behind in all of this.

And that’s not even scratching the surface of my feelings about not getting into where I want. It all feels like too much.

“When do you voluntarily leave practice and walk for two fucking hours?” Ambrose crosses his arms, stepping up to me. He’s almost my size, which just turns me on.

Had it really been that long? I didn’t mean for it to be.

I push all the anxiety to the back of my mind and close the distance between us pressing my chest into his. “Maybe I just needed a walk.”

His lip pulls and a slight growl parts his lips. “You take care of both of us, and never let us take care of you.” Anger fades from his eyes, turning into something more like concern or sadness.

I can’t take it. I’ve never been able to. It just makes me want to wrap him up in a hug. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I can’t help it.” His breath fans over my lips and they part instinctively.

“Kiss me.”

He looks around, but we are fully alone, and it’s dark. We are just two anonymous guys here. But he still hesitates, and I get it. I drag him back into the shelter of an alley. Then finally he does, but just barely. Leaving me needing so much more.

I grab the back of his neck and force his mouth to mine, taking what I want.

He gives over to the kiss, sliding his tongue over mine.

We don’t kiss much. It’s too easy to use each other for a release which involves our mouths in other places.

But this is different in more ways. It’s softer than Ambrose usually is with me.

His arms slide around me, drawing me to press fully against him, in a wonderful full body hug.

I don’t know how long we stay like that, but I immediately want more when he pulls back. “Come back.”

“I need to tell Tobi you’re okay.”

“Fair.” I take a few slow breaths, calming my dick down. “Let’s head back to my place? I hate half hanging off a bed with you two.”

He nods, finishing the text. “I told him. He’s heading this way.”

We stand there for another minute without saying anything then Ambrose reaches for me.

He puts his hand on my chest, rubbing his thumb over my heart. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

“It’s not that I’m not okay. It’s—” I shake my head, not having words for it.

He cups my cheek like I’ve seen him do so many times for Tobi, giving me a softness he never has before. “You can be where ever you’re at, but I want to be here for you.”

I put my hand over his, fighting a smile. “What is this?”

“What?” he asks, eyes half lidded like he’s about to kiss me.

“You’re so…soft.”

“Fuck you,” he mutters, but doesn’t pull back.

“No, don’t do that. I like it.”

He smiles, and he is so fucking hot.

I can’t help but kiss him. “I am still going to fight you, but I want this side of you, too.” I say into his lips.

“Only if you give me this side of you.”

I scowl, and he kisses me again.

“Let’s go before we leave Tobi waiting out in the cold.” He looks around again, always on high alert so he doesn’t get recognized.

I wish I could take it away from him. We walk for a bit, and I wish I could hold his hand, but our shoulders brushing occasionally is enough—for now.

“Hey, wait…how did you find me?” I hadn’t shared my location with them, and come to think of it, I think my phone is dead.

“Errr…” He’s instantly guilty.

“What the fuck did you do?” I narrow my eyes.

“We might be tracking you.”

“You fucking AirTagged me?”

“It was Tobi’s idea, but yes, we did.” He risks a glance. “He remembered the team AirTagged Teddy and, well…”

“I’m not even the suicidal one in this fucking relationship!” I cannot believe those two. Where the fuck did they even put it? He starts to say something, but I cut him off. “Actively or passively,” I say before he can claim he’s not.

“We both have anxiety,” he says, like it’s somehow excuses it.

“You didn’t think to ask me to like turn on my location?” I ask, not really annoyed. They can know where I am whenever they want.

“Sometimes you’re stubborn when we ask you to do things that are super, super reasonable.” Ambrose shrugs, clearly not at all remorseful.

“It is reasonable, especially because I could be anywhere next year. I get why you’d both want to know where I am, and since I wasn’t exactly honest with Tobi about the hockey stuff, I know I have a lot of trust to rebuild, so I get it, but just fucking ask me.

I don’t want to feel like you guys can’t talk to me, or you don’t trust me. ”

Ambrose’s brows pull, and he looks at his feet. “Okay, that’s fair. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” I shove my hands in my pockets, realizing for the first time they are freezing.

He lets me walk up the stairs to the brownstone first and I dig my keys out, but my hands are too cold to get them to work right. He comes up behind me and steadies my hand with his, guiding the key. It’s such a minor thing, but so intimate. I glance over my shoulder at him and I ache with need.

“I’m taking care of you tonight,” he puts his hand on my lower back, guiding me inside. “Don’t even try to object,” he says before I can speak.

“I’m not good at this,” I say while he gets the door closed and puts my keys in the bowl.

“I can fucking tell.” He slips his warm hands under my shirt, pushing it up. “You’re so cold. Let’s get you in the shower.”

“Should we wait for Tobi?” I lift my arms over my head, letting him take my shirt off.

He tosses it on the floor, mouth finding my neck. “He can join when he gets here.”

I tilt my head back, letting him do whatever he wants. He uses my rare passiveness to his advantage and drags me into my ensuite, stripping me as we go. He turns on the shower taking the opportunity to eye fuck me. I’m already hard, but I’ve had a halfy since he kissed me in the alley.

“Get in. You need to warm up.” He tugs his shirt off.

“Make me.” I squeeze the base of my dick.

He does, roughly, and I love it. But he’s back to caring as soon as we are under the spray, wrapping his arms around me to kiss me, while completely ignoring my cock.

I rock it against his hip while our tongues meet. We slide together slick with the water, cocks finally sliding together. I groan into his mouth.

“You started without me!” Tobi gasps from the doorway.

I laugh, not breaking apart from Ambrose. “You AirTagged me.”

“You told him!” Tobi sounds betrayed but he pulls open the door and is already naked.

“You got naked fast.” I give him a side-glance while wrapping an arm around him to draw him into us.

“I may have been watching for a few minutes,” Tobi says sheepishly.

“Like the show?” Ambrose asks, pulling Tobi between us.

Tobi grins, lifting up on his toes to kiss me while answering. “Yes. Very much.”

Ambrose presses in tight, rubbing his cock between Tobi’s cheeks. “I have an idea.”

“Hmmm?” I say between kissing Tobi.

“I think you should be in the middle tonight. Let us both take care of you.” Ambrose says, grabbing a handful of my ass around Tobi.

“But Tobi’s always in the middle…” I object, but Tobi is already moving.

They surround me.

“Let us take care of you,” Tobi says, echoing what Ambrose said earlier. Like they’ve talked.

Bastards.

“Fine.”

***

The next morning, when they find out I don’t have class they both insist on ditching and staying home with me. I try to tell them it’s not necessary, but realize they are as anxious as I am, a little downtime would be nice. We melt into a cuddle pile on the couch and watch movies.

After lunch Tobi has a lab he can’t miss, and Ambrose has to get ready for practice. I pick up my phone and nearly drop it. An email is sitting in my alerts and it’s from my top school.

“Fuck.”

They both pause in the process of putting their coats on and look at me.

“What is it?” Ambrose asks when I don’t answer.

“I have an email from the admissions office.” My thumb hovers over the alert. I don’t know if I can open it.

“What are you waiting for?” Tobi asks, shoving his way under my arm to look at my screen. “Which school is it?”

I hadn’t told either of them what my top school was. I didn’t want it to affect our relationship or for them to think they were influencing my decision.

I click on it and scroll down as Ambrose steps in behind me to read over my shoulder. I scan the text and can’t breathe.

“I got in.” I say not sure I fully believe my eyes.

“Where is it?” Tobi asks again impatiently.

I scroll back up so they can both see the header of the email.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Tobi turns in my arms wrapping his arms around my neck.

Ambrose hugs me from behind, laughing. “Shit, bro. Can’t believe you’re going to be a Olympian.”

“It’s one of the best med schools in the country. It has nothing to do with the Olympians.” I can’t help but smile, my chest so fucking filled with happiness I don’t know what to do with myself.

“Whatever. Don’t tell your teammates. They’ll think you’re a traitor.”

“Don’t ruin this for him.” Tobi playfully smacks Ambrose then looks at me. “Is that really your top choice? Over Boston?”

I nod. “I never wanted to leave the city. Boston might be the best med school, but Summerset is two, and then I can buy a place in Morning Heights and we could—all live there or something.”

Tobi squeals in delight. “Seriously?!”

“Yes,” I say, feeling Ambrose’s broody stare burn into my cheek. I half turn towards him, cupping his face. “What’s wrong?”

“How can I live with two guys?”

I give him a look like he’s lost his mind. “You’re my step-brother. You’re living with me and my boyfriend. It’s the perfect cover.”

“Oh.” His entire face lights up, and I love that I did that.

“Then we can all be who we are at home, and you can be safe. No sneaking around.”

He kisses me, then presses his forehead to mine. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“When do we get to start looking at places?!” Tobi asks, practically jumping.

“As soon as you want.” I kiss him too.

“I’m going to be on House Hunt all of class. I don’t even know how you expect me to pay attention!” He squirms.

“Shit, you two both go or you’re going to be late.”

They both kiss me again, and I still can’t believe how incredibly lucky I am to have them both.

Thank you for reading!