Page 11 of The Substitute (New York Gods #4)

ELEVEN

SAVAGE

Idon’t ask when I get to Tobi’s dorm. I walk in with someone and go up to his floor, smiling when I knock.

Ambrose pulls it open and crosses his arms, blocking my entrance. “When are you going to accept that I’m not coming home. Ever.”

“Hmm?” I wait a beat to give him a hard time. “I’m not here for you.” I pat his cheek. “As per our conversation yesterday, I’ve put that on pause while I court your roommate.”

“He’s not for you,” Ambrose snarls. “And don’t touch me.”

“Then move out of my way.” I step closer to him, so our chests are almost touching.

“What if I don’t?”

“I’ll fight you for him. Literally.” I roll my shoulders, half wishing he would, even knowing he won’t. I could use the release.

“No need to fight.” Tobi somehow squeezes past Ambrose’s massive frame, brushing fully against him as he does. Ambrose stiffens, and I growl. They exchange a look, and I realize I don’t want him touching Tobi. At all. Even so innocently.

“You didn’t have to come up.” Tobi shoves his hands into his pockets.

“I wanted to come up and walk down with you. Don’t accept less.”

He frowns slightly, like he has no clue what I’m talking about. But Ambrose knows. He’s glaring. Still watching.

I scratch my nose with my middle finger. “You ready?”

“Yes.” He steps towards me.

“You know he’s still not going to his class.” Ambrose cuts in.

I glance between them. “Is that true?” I ask Tobi.

He avoids my eyes and nods. “Some of them.”

“Why not?”

He shrugs.

“Thanks for telling me,” I say to Ambrose before slipping a finger under Tobi’s chin. “Good thing this is a date and not studying.”

“A date?” Ambrose asks.

His eyes glint with amusement. Like he’s getting one over on Ambrose. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” I reply, ignoring Ambrose.

Tobi rocks up to his toes and reacts with his entire body, and it’s so endearing. It also makes me a little hard, which is new. I’ve never found someone cute and been hot for them.

I might be half-doing this to piss off Ambrose, but Tobi is hot, and I like hanging out with him.

It’s a short walk to where we’re going, and Tobi’s head is on a swivel the whole time, clearly trying to figure out where I’m taking him. When I open the door to a nondescript building, he gives me a strange look.

“Are you taking me to an abandoned apartment to kill me?” He hesitates.

I give him a flat look and hit the elevator button. “Really?”

He holds up his hands. “I’m not saying I’m not into it. I just want to know.”

I laugh and roll my eyes. “I’m not killing you.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.”

“Maybe I’ll torture you a little if you ask nicely.”

He tries to bite back a groan, but fails, and the sound goes straight to my cock.

We get into the elevator and go to the roof. When we step out onto the roof, we’re transported from the city into a garden, greenery climbs high trestles blocking out most of the city lights. Inside the garden are secluded cuddle pods. There are screens and blankets, and food to order.

Tobi looks around, trying to make sense of it. “What is this place?”

“It’s called Cuddle Buddy. You said you were lonely. I figured I could help.” I give him a huge smile, but can tell he’s still unsure, so I add, “In a safe place with no pressure. You can do as little or as much as you want.”

His brow pulls almost into a frown before he softens. “Which one is for us?”

I put my hand on the small of his back and lead him to ours in the back corner.

It’s back past a little maze of trestles, nestled completely out of view.

I got the massive, fluffy couch option. It’s double deep and big enough to sit with our legs outstretched or for us to lie down.

There are lots of big pillows and blankets piled high, ready to use.

With the sun setting and the crisp breeze, it’s the perfect weather for this.

Tobi walks up to the blankets, running his fingers over them, while distant chatter reaches my ears. I can almost make out words, but background music makes the conversations hard to distinguish.

Tobi cocks his head, listening. “It feels like we’re alone, but we’re not.”

“Yes.”

People would hear us if we were loud. The concept was made by a woman who wanted women to have a safe space to be out without needing to be at a bar, and I hope it will make Tobi more comfortable.

“Do you like it?”

He nods, selecting a blanket before climbing into the mass of cushions and pillows. I toss a few more over before joining him.

“What movie are they playing?”

“Rocky Horror. I hope that’s okay.”

He smiles, looking happier than I’d seen him. “I love that movie.”

Tobi makes himself comfortable, and then I do the same, grabbing more pillows and blankets. I’m close enough to touch him, but still giving him space—for now.

A server comes by with the drinks and snacks I ordered right on time. Tobi frowns again, but this time, I can’t figure out what has changed.

“Is this like a real date?”

“I did tell you I want to take you on a date,” I remind him.

“I just figured…we were going to study again.” There’s something he’s not saying.

I give him a look. “Did you think we’re going to study at a movie?”

“But like, you don’t really want to date me, do you?”

“This again? Why wouldn’t I?” I ask, grabbing the popcorn to eat while he explains himself.

Tobi purses his lips at the popcorn.

“I’m waiting.” I pop another piece in my mouth.

He huffs but finally speaks. “I guess I just assumed—”

“Am I going to have to coax all of this out of you?” I tease, offering the popcorn.

He glares at it, then takes some. “I assumed you were just using me to make your brother jealous.”

“I mean, while I do enjoy pissing him off, I don’t need to make him jealous. I’m already out with you.” I wink, earning an eye roll.

“Then why are you out with me?”

I lift my brows but realize he really doesn’t get it. “Because you’re hot, and I enjoyed studying with you, so I wanted to do it again.”

“But all the possessive stuff and coming to pick me up from my room…” he trails off like he’s doing some complex mental math.

“Someone can’t enjoy your company?”

“No…or maybe that’s it.” He shrugs.

“What else were you going to say?”

“It doesn’t matter.” He turns his attention to the screen as if the matter is closed.

I set the popcorn aside and get up on my knees next to him. He still doesn’t look at me, so I grab his chin. Finally, he meets my gaze, and I say, “I don’t know how your other…friends are, but you’re not going to get away with non-answers and self-deprecation with me.”

“It’s not self-deprecation when it’s true.”

I tighten my grip. “No.”

“No?!” he barely whimpers the words, seeing my expression.

I hook my knee over his legs straddling them so I’m all he can see.

“It’s not true. Just because others have undervalued you doesn’t mean it’s true, and I’m not taking that from anyone I’m out with.

I don’t go out with anyone I don’t want to spend time with.

Let alone arrange all of this. You’re insulting me by saying as much. ”

Tobi swallows, taking a shuddering breath. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want an apology. I want you to believe me.”

He lowers his eyes. “I believe you.”

“Look at me when you say it.”

It takes him a moment, but he does.

“Better.” I rub my thumb over his lower lip, then release him and sit back down, but closer this time.

“You really want to be here.”

I glance over. “Yes. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.”

“I don’t know how anyone does this.”

“What?” I pick the popcorn up again.

“Date. It’s so fucking awkward.” He scoots a little closer, pretending like he’s reaching for the popcorn, making his thigh brush against mine. His attention shoots to the place, but I don’t react. Refusing to make this a big deal.

“Why is dating awkward?” I lean into the touch.

He squirms. “It just is. I don’t know. I don’t do it, and figuring it out sucks.”

“You don’t do it at all?”

“Because it’s stupid.”

Now he has my full attention. “I can help you with that.”

His head whips around, staring at me again. “How?”

“This. Let me take the lead, and I’ll show you in no time.”

“Like you don’t always take the lead.” He lets my words roll around his head. “And what about all the other stuff?”

“What stuff?” I know what he’s talking about, but he needs to say it.

He can’t pussyfoot around everything. That’s part of his issue.

He sighs. “All the stuff that comes with dating.”

“Intimacy?” I ask, still not letting him not say it.

“That and—” He groans, pushing his palms into his eyes. “Making a move and all that. I don’t even know where to start.” Tobi sounds defeated, and it makes my chest hurt for him.

“Are you telling me you’ve never fucked anyone?” These things have always come so naturally to me. I don’t know what it’s like, but I want to fix it for him.

“Not really.”

“What is not really?” I hook my leg over his and adjust to sit facing him more than I was, disinterested in the movie and fully focused on Tobi.

“I messed around a little bit with a couple of guys in high school before…”

“Before what?”

“I had a thing for my best friend—former best friend.” His whole face falls, and this might be the most real he’s been.

“And he rejected you?” I’m fully going by context clues and guesses here.

“Worse. He’s in love with my fucking brother.”

“Ouch.” I cringe. “That is heavy.” No wonder he’s so jaded. I would be too. “So he’s the reason you haven’t been with anyone?”

He lifts his shoulders, being evasive again, but I let him work it out, and he finally speaks. “I guess, and maybe I did it to myself. I kept thinking it would happen, but clearly he never saw me that way since, you know, my brother.” He rolls his eyes. “And here I am.”

“I’m guessing you never made a move?”

“I told you, I’m not good at this.”

It’s all starting to make sense. The insecurity and low self-esteem. And I like him more because of it. Who doesn’t like a little sarcasm and dark humor?

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

Tobi shrugs, but at least he didn’t say anything self-deprecating. We go back to watching the movie.

“I think I know what you want,” I say near the end of the movie.

Tobi pulls his attention away from the screen. “What do you mean?”

“The conversation we were having earlier.” I prompt.

“Huh? Which part of it?”

“All of it. The inexperienced and awkwardness. I’ve got an idea on how to help.”

“Oh!” His cheeks pink. “What did you come up with?”

“I think you want to be told what to do.”

Tobi swallows hard.

“Is that a yes?” I ask.

He nods carefully, lowering his gaze.

“No,” I say, and his gaze flicks up to meet mine. Now that I have his full attention, I continue, “I told you, when I ask you a question, I want to hear you reply.”

“O-okay.”

“I’m glad you understand. Now answer my question. You want me to tell you what to do?”

Tobi begins to nod, but he stops himself and wets his lips with his tongue. “Yes, I think I would like that.”

“Come sit in my lap.”

His eyes go wide. “Now? Here?”

“No one can see us.”

He’s slow, but he gets to his knees and carefully moves over me, sitting like he’s going to hurt me or impose.

I slide my hands up the outside of his thighs. “Put your arms on my shoulders.”

He’s quicker this time. “Like this?”

“Perfect, baby girl.”

He digests the name as different expressions roll over his face. “What is this baby girl thing?”

“I thought I already answered that?”

“You did, but you keep using it,” Tobi mutters.

“You don’t like it?” I ask, giving him one chance to reject the pet name.

“No, it’s not that.”

“What is it? Use your words.”

He teases the tips of his fingers over the back of my neck, making me shiver. “You like that?”

“Of course I like you touching me. Now answer.”

“‘Baby’ is like…a relationship thing.”

“And? You said you wanted to date and you’re awkward, and I said I’d show you. Is this not showing you?”

“Oh…” He falls silent, processing it, and I’m learning to give him time. “I like it.”

“Good. Now we’re going to cuddle and watch the second movie.” I pick him up easily and adjust us so I’m spooning him, my leg over him so he can’t go anywhere. “This feel good?”

Tobi chews his bottom lip but eventually nods. “It’s really nice.”

I lean back, happy he’s happy. I’m going to give him some damn joy, like it or not.