Page 36 of The Substitute (New York Gods #4)

THIRTY-TWO

SAVAGE

Iknow I’ll have to have a conversation with Lovelace later, but right now, I need to focus on Tobi. He’s a mess and has clearly been crying.

“What happened, baby girl?” I ask as I set him on his feet next to the bed.

He buries his face in my neck. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I think you should.” I lay him out on my bed, and he looks fucking good there. “It’s going to be nice to not have to squeeze into your twin bed.”

He half laughs. “You mean you don’t want to lay on top of me?”

“I do, but in my bed I can sleep with my legs straight.” I climb in on top of him to prove my point.

He picks his head up and grabs my ass. “Don’t get used to it. Your place is so far from campus.”

“I can drive you back in the morning.” I rest my chin on his chest, settling my hips between his thighs. “What happened?”

“Ambrose and I got into a fight.”

“What about?” I know my step-brother is an idiot, but Christ, what do they even have to fight about?

“I told you I want to forget, not talk about it!”

“You know this is torture, right?” I grumble.

“Making me come is torture?” he says lightheartedly.

“No, not knowing is torture.”

“How is it torture?” Tobi seems skeptical.

“It’s all I’m going to think about.”

“So you do overthink! Finally, something that makes you normal.”

“Because I hate not knowing things? That makes me normal?” I try to figure out how that is so.

“Like you go over and over it in your mind and become obsessed, wondering what it might be, and if it’s bad. It’s a part of anxiety.”

I chuckle, grinding against him a little. “No, it annoys the shit out of me because I’m a nosy bastard, and when it comes to you, I want to know how your headspace is so I can help.”

“Well, you suck.”

“I do suck.” I wiggle my brows. “But not in the way you want.”

“I wish you were doing a lot more sucking and a lot less talking.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. More orgasms, less talking, please.”

“I’m going to make you talk later.”

“Fine, but right now, I just want to forget.” He closes his eyes, and in the low light of my room, he looks angelic with his dirty blond curls spread over the pillow. He really has no idea how beautiful he is.

“How shall I make you come, baby girl?” I ask, slowly pushing my hands under his shirt to lift it.

He half-sits, helping me. “I want you to fuck me until I don’t know my name.”

I pause at his words, sliding off his jeans while I decide how I’m going to approach this. “I can fuck you into oblivion with my fingers.” I skim up the inside of his now bare thighs, hoping that distracts him enough.

“No, I want your cock inside me.” He looks me in the eyes as he says it, backing me into a corner.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“You promised me coming until I pass out!”

“There are plenty of ways to make you come without it.”

“But I want it.” He’s hurt.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea tonight.”

“Why not?” he whines. “I know you like it, and I’m sure it’s what you’ve been waiting for since you’ve been purposefully taking your time because I’m so inexperienced.”

“I’m not waiting for anything. I’ve enjoyed every second of taking our time to get to know each other’s bodies.” I never want him to feel like that.

“But you like sex?” He’s so stuck on this virginity thing, and since I know, I can’t make this his moment.

“I do like sex, and we’ve been having lots of it, and we’re going to have more tonight.” I wink, trying to break the tension.

He glares. “By sex, I mean penetration.”

“I enjoy penetration, yes, but I think it’s best if we wait for that.”

“Why?!” He’s frustrated, so I have to be careful.

“Because I can tell it’s a big deal to you, even though we’ve had sex. Penetration is bigger, and I don’t want the first time it happens to ever be a regret for you.”

“I don’t want to be treated like a doll and put on a pedestal where I’m untouchable because I can’t be hurt.”

I choose my words carefully. “I’m not doing that, and I never want you to feel that way.

I just don’t want the memory of your first time to be that it happened because you fought with my brother and especially not because you want to forget or use it to zone out.

I need you fully present here with me when we do that. ”

He huffs but is clearly conceding my point. “Fine.”

“Don’t ‘fine’ me. Do you want me to suck your cock while I fuck you with my fingers?”

His eyes light up. “That’s an option?”

“I told you there were lots of ways to make you come we haven’t tried.”