Page 47 of The Substitute (New York Gods #4)

THIRTY-NINE

TOBI

I’m happy, but I’m hurting. It’s better than how I started off the year, but my chest aches every time I see Ambrose.

I don’t know how to fix it or if we even can or should.

I hate it. I’ve talked to Savage, but I feel bad talking to him about someone else, let alone his step-brother.

How did I get myself into such a fucked up situation?

I’m so desperate for someone to talk to, I text Teddy. This is going to be a disaster, I can feel it in my bones, but I have literally no one else, and I’m hoping that by being vague as fuck, Teddy won’t connect the dots of who I’m talking about.

God, I really hope Rhys isn’t here.

I knock on the door of their apartment, and Teddy yells loud enough to alert the entire floor that he’ll be here in a minute. Fuck my life. Everyone is going to know my business by the end of this.

The door opens, and Teddy stands there in green cotton shorts with a huge Shrek face on one thigh and no shirt. Is this a hockey thing? Guys are just fundamentally against shirts?

“Broster! Welcome to my bumble-y bode!” He sweeps his arm out, and I take it in. I haven’t actually been here since they moved in, and it’s both better and worse than I had imagined.

It’s chaos. Nothing on the walls is straight, the blankets on the couch are an offensive shade of yellow, and there’s not a curtain or window blind in sight. Fantastic.

How does Rhys live like this? I already have a headache, and I haven’t even been here thirty seconds.

I step inside and take my shoes off since there’s the Mount Everest of shoes sitting on the floor.

“I hope you don’t want to talk about science stuff,” Teddy says as he walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge to grab a water. “Drinksy?”

“Water is good, thanks.”

He hands me one, and I sit on a stool at the island that has his face on the seat. I’m not going to think too hard about that.

“No science stuff,” I take a drink and try to find a way to word this. “I’m having a guy problem.”

He perks up like I’ve just said some magic word. “You came to the right place, I’m a wizard of knowledge.”

“On guys in general or relationships?”

“Both.” He shrugs like this is the most logical answer. “I have been in a successful relationship for over a year!”

“Right.” I grimace internally.

Teddy sits on a stool next to me and swings his legs like a kid. “And I already know.”

“What?”

“I know your little secret or whatever.”

“How the hell do you know?!” Did Ambrose tell Teddy about me? About me and Savage? Fuck, what the hell does Teddy know, and what has he told to whom?!

“You’re sleeping with the enemy!” Teddy yells and slams his palm on the counter.

I blink at him because that is not what I was expecting him to say.

“Uh, well, okay. Sure. We can go with that.” Does that really matter if neither of us are on teams?

I’m technically an Olympian but I don’t care.

Not like the sports ball players. Savage just goes to a different school.

Lots of people date guys from other schools.

“A God? I can’t believe you’d do it. After all I’ve been through.”

“You’re fucking one—you live with one!” I close my eyes and hold up my hand. “What would a God matter?” How would he even know?

“There’s more?!” Teddy is outraged and horrified. “If you say you’re fucking a Monster, we can’t be brothers anymore.”

I’m really hoping he’s talking about the college mascot and Rhys doesn’t have him reading monster porn.

Well, their dicks are big… Would they qualify as monster dicks, though? I need to stay on track.

“Jesus Teddy, can you focus?” I rub my eyes then get up to pace. He’s stressing me out. “Listen, I’m kind of dating two people.”

Teddy’s face goes completely blank, so I give him a minute to process. If this is anything like the breeding situation, he’s going to have a lot of uncomfortable questions.

“Two?”

“Yes.”

“Two guys?” Teddy asks looking like he’s doing some complex math in his head.

“Correct.”

He scratches his head. “Like at the same time?”

“No, separately.”

He leans in, very serious, and whispers to the best of his ability, which is still at full volume, “Where do the dicks go?”

I sigh and drop my head back on my shoulders. “Teddy, I am not here to tell you about the birds and bees. I need help.”

“If the help is finding out where all the dicks go, I can’t help. Maybe Rhys will know? He knows things. Or Colin. He seems to know a lot of scary sex things.”

“Who the fuck is Colin, and what do you mean scary sex things?” I cross my arms and stare at him. What the fuck is happening around here? I have a mental breakdown for a few months, and Teddy has scary sex friends? Who let that happen?

“Colin is married to Owen, the not scary twin.”

Following a conversation with Teddy is nearly impossible. I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea. “Rhys’ brothers?” I guess.

“No, married to one.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and breathe. “Anyway. Sex is not the issue!”

“Then where—”

I cut him off. “I swear to god!”

The door opens, and Rhys freezes when he sees me. “This is unexpected.” He looks between me and Teddy, then stops on me. “Is everything okay?”

“No! He’s fucking the enemy and someone else! He won’t confirm if it’s a Monster or not.” Teddy yells at the same time I ask, “Who the hell is Colin, and what scary sex things is he telling Teddy about?”

Don’t make a dick joke. Don’t make a dick joke.

Rhys cracks a smile for a split second before schooling his features. “Okay…and you’re here, why?”

“Because I need help,” I say with a defeated groan.

“And you thought your brother was the best place to get advice?” Rhys asks, finally moving past the door and getting comfortable.

“He seems to work for you, so I figured I might as well try.”

Rhys lifts an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. Probably smart. “What’s the issue?”

“He’s sleeping with the enemy!” Teddy yells pressing his index finger into his palm. “What are you not understating?”

“Babe, so are you.” Rhys puts a hand on Teddy’s shoulder.

“And it’s hell!” Teddy says like it’s a huge weight off his chest.

I snort a laugh. I did not see that one coming.

Rhys blinks at him. “Excuse me?”

“The daily rituals and termite oil has been excursion!” Teddy covers his face. “I had to talk to Coach and Mom about orgasms!”

“Termite oil?”

“I’m more concerned about what rituals he’s doing.”

Rhys flicks his gaze to me. “Don’t ask.”

“Can we get back to the matter at hand?” I ask. “I really need help.”

“Yes, please continue.” Rhys grabs a water from the fridge and takes a seat on the counter.

“I’m kind of dating two guys, and I don’t know what to do about it.” The words just pour out of me because I’ve been bottling them up so long.

“Wait. Two? At the same time?” Rhys looks impressed.

“Yes and no, but I don’t know what that means,” Teddy says, still looking at me. “Still unclear on where the dicks go.”

Rhys pats his hand but doesn’t comment. “Okay, that is a situation.”

“Right. And I don’t know what to do.”

“Which one do you want to be with?”

“Both!” I start pacing again. I can’t out Ambrose to either of them, so I have to be very careful with how I proceed here. “They know about each other, okay? I’m not hiding shit. I just know at some point they are going to want me to pick.”

Rhys looks at me skeptically. “And they’re okay with this arrangement?”

“Well…” I groan. “How can they be? One has said he wants me to himself, and the other has said he’s jealous of the time the other gets with me, so I think that means he wants me to himself, too?”

“Why does this have to be an either or situation?” Rhys asks. “Why can’t you have both?”

Teddy is nodding along like he’s invested in the conversation and backing Rhys up.

“Don’t be an idiot.” I pace away from him then back. “That’s not how things work in real life.”

“Why not?” Rhys tosses his now-empty water bottle in the recycle bin. “You’ve never heard of polyamory?”

“How is that fair? If I get to fuck both of them, but I don’t want them with anyone else? Sounds toxic.” I cross my arms and want to punch someone.

“Can they fuck each other?”

“That’s treason!” Teddy yells from the couch where he is laying with his feet over the back and his head hanging toward the floor from the seat.

Rhys ignores Teddy and asks, “Would you be okay with them fucking each other?”

Oh, fuck. My face heats at all the different ways I can interpret that. “Like, while fucking me?”

“To be fair, it kinda should be separately too, but…” Rhys shrugs. “I mean, however.”

My face heats even more, spreading down my neck. “That would be really hot,” I mumble more to myself than to Rhys. “But they basically hate each other so it won’t work.”

“I will never share! I’m like a pirate.” Teddy yells, sitting up and then wavering when all the blood rushes from his head.

“What does that have to do with being a pirate?” I ask, knowing better.

Rhys groans. “It’s better to ignore him in situations like this.”

Teddy points at Rhys with a stern expression. “Stop getting mad I’m bonding with my brother!”

Rhys laughs. “That’s not why I’m mad.”

“But one isn’t out.” I turn back to the conversation. “What if he never wants to be out? What am I supposed to do, shove myself back in the closet? I can’t do that!”

“No, you can’t, but you’ll have to decide if you can live with him not being out,” Rhys agrees. “If they are only interested in being with you, they don’t want to share, and if they hate each other, this isn’t going to end well.”

I open my arms wide with a ‘no shit’ look on my face. “Thank you, Einstein! Anymore brilliance you want to shine upon me?”

“Are you having a stroke? Do you smell toast?” Teddy looks at me.

“What?” I ask Teddy.

“This is Rhys. Not whoever Einstein is. You’ve been friends with him half your life. You should remember his name at this point!” Teddy is looking at me like I’ve lost it.

Rhys pats Teddy’s hand again. “It’s fine.”

Teddy shrugs and looks at me very seriously. “If one of them is an Olympian, then that’s the one you keep.”

Rhys is thinking about that one. “I think I take offense to that?”

“Go ahead. You’re still the enemy, and I am loyal to a fault! Even Coach says so.”

“Or are you the enemy?” I ask Teddy.

Teddy’s eyes get wide, and he gets up to pace the kitchen, muttering to himself.

“Thanks a lot. Now he’s going to have an existential crisis all day,” Rhys mutters.

“I can’t pick between them. I want them both. I have feelings for both of them. No matter what happens, I’m fucked.” I don’t want to cry anymore, but I can feel it coming.

“Have you talked to them about it? Maybe they won’t make you choose?” Rhys says kindly.

“They both are super possessive I don’t think that will work. I think it will just blow up and what if I lose them both?” I can’t stop worrying about it.

“If they both have feelings for you, if they both want to be exclusively yours, they aren’t going to both leave,” Rhys says, and I want to believe him, but it’s hard.

“Yeah,” Teddy agrees and walks toward me to put an arm around my shoulders. “You’re awesome, broster.”

Tears threaten to fill my eyes as I look at my big, dumb brother. He really is just a kid at heart, and he means well. I’ve been such a dick to him.

I lay my head on his shoulder and accept his half-hug with a sigh. This is what I needed—my brother to tell me I’m awesome.

Rhys gives me a smile loaded with emotion, and I realize maybe I don’t hate him as much as I thought, either. This was nice, being able to talk to him. Weird, but nice.

“Look at us, Reese’s Pieces,” Teddy says. “Bro bonding.”

I scrunch up my face and lift my head. “Does this mean Teddy and I are getting along?”

Rhys laughs. “He grows on you, don’t worry.”

“Like a fungus.”

Teddy squeezes me and lets me go to pull his phone from his pocket. “I’m telling Mom you’re using science to insult me again.”

“Seriously, who is Colin, and can I meet him? I would like to know more about scary sex things.”

Rhys thinks about it for a second before a big grin transforms his face. “That will annoy Oliver, so I’m saying yes.”