Page 12 of The Substitute (New York Gods #4)
TWELVE
AMbrOSE
“What did you and my brother do?” I ask when Tobi gets home after midnight. I know I shouldn’t fucking ask, but I can’t stop myself. I hate that he likes Savage and won’t even talk to me. I hate that he’s giving him a chance when he won’t give me one.
Tobi avoids my eyes and rocks up on his toes. “Uhhh.”
I scoff and stare at the ceiling. “That’s what I thought.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I don’t look at him while he gathers his stuff and goes to the bathroom.
I shove to my feet, needing to do something with all this restless energy, but what?
I want to beat the fuck out of Savage. I know he’s only going after Tobi because he knows I like him, so he can get to me.
It’s not fucking fair to Tobi, and it’s just a dick move.
I pace the small space, exhausted from practice today but now too keyed up to sleep. Maybe I should be out drinking with the guys or something, but I couldn’t have gone out knowing they were on a date. I’m too in my head about it.
Tobi comes out, still looking sheepish. He stops in front of me, so I step out of the way so he can get to his bed, but he doesn’t move.
“What?” I finally say.
“I’m sorry.”
Confusion washes through me. “What? Why are you sorry?”
Tobi’s cheeks pink. “I don’t know. It felt like the right thing to say.”
I stare at him. “Why?”
“You’re clearly mad.”
“I’m not mad. I’m frustrated and jealous.”
He blinks rapidly. “Jealous?”
“Yeah, and?”
“You’re admitting you’re jealous?” Tobi asks after a long moment.
“I learned to talk about my feelings. Yes, I can fucking admit it.” I flex my jaw, hating that this isn’t a normal thing for him, and that I have to explain it.
“Why are you jealous?”
“Because you give my brother a chance so easily, and you won’t even fucking look at me most of the time.” I dig my nails into my palm.
“It’s hard. You know too much.”
I soften. It’s the most he’s given me since I moved in. “I’m not going to use it against you.”
“I…I didn’t think that. It’s just—” He cuts himself off.
I give him time to speak, but when he doesn’t, I ask, “It’s just what?”
“It’s too raw.” He plays with his hoodie, and I notice for the first time that it’s way too big on him.
It’s mine. My heart melts and I instantly want to scoop him up in a hug but I stop myself, not wanting to scare him off. He’s like a little baby deer I need to prove I’m not a predator to.
“You’re wearing my hoodie…” I swallow hard.
“Yes.”
“Why?” I ask softly unable to fight my smile.
“It smells good. It’s almost like a hug.” He shrugs like it’s nothing but getting even more red. “It’s stupid.”
I step into his space. “Didn’t you come on it?”
His gaze flashes to mine, and his Adam’s apple bobs. “Ummm. Maybe.”
“Not maybe. You did. You showed me.” I am so fucking turned on.
He nods being a little coy and it makes him hotter.
“So let me get this right. You’ve been sleeping in a hoodie that smells like me with your cum on it since I gave it to you?” If I don’t combust it will be a miracle.
“It’s only been a couple of days.”
I’m full on smiling and not even trying to hide it. “Now you’re making me hard.”
He squirms. “Really?”
I grip my dick through my gray sweats. “And it’s your fault.”
“That’s not my fault,” he says playfully.
“I think it is.” I bite back a groan and give myself a squeeze before dropping my hand.
He licks his lips, watching my hand. “What does that mean?”
“What does what mean?”
“Why are you pointing it out?” Tobi clarifies.
“So you know what you do to me. Because I don’t think you do.”
“I didn’t know. And that’s why you’re jealous?”
“Yes,” I admit, hating that Savage still has that ability. “What did you do with him?”
He hesitates.
“I’m not going to get mad. You’re allowed to date whoever you want, even if I’m jealous.
“We cuddled,” he whispers.
“That’s it?” I ask, knowing Tobi is free to do anything he wants, but still so fucking jealous.
“Yes.”
“Does that mean I get to cuddle you?”
Slowly, he meets my eyes again. “Is this a tit for tat?”
“Why not? Then you get to smell like me, and your whole bed will smell like me. I think it’s fair.”
He shifts on his feet wringing his hands. “I don’t date hockey players.”
That annoys me since my brother’s a fucking hockey player, and clearly, he’s dating him. “It’s not dating if we just cuddle. You’re not dating my brother yet?”
“I don’t know. Not like anything serious. He’s just helping me be comfortable.” Tobi drags his teeth over his lip.
“I can help, too.” I take a chance and reach out to thumb over his lip. “It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”
“But does it mean something to you?” he asks tentatively.
“I want to get to know you, and I want you to give me a chance. That’s it.”
“Okay.”
“Really?” I can’t help but smile.
“I’m tired of being alone.” He climbs into bed and scoots towards the wall.
I get in behind him and wrap an arm around him. He leans back into me, blond messy hair half in my face. He smells like the strawberry shampoo he uses, and it’s cute as fuck.
His body relaxes, making me harder.
Fuck.
I don’t want to push it, but his ass is nestled against my lower abs, and it would be so easy to grind against his perfect cheeks. But I don’t. I want him comfortable and happy. He deserves that, not to be jumped the second he touches me. But it’s fucking hard not to.
He holds onto my arm and sighs, half asleep already.