Page 71 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)
A Year Later
Bruno is picking up his bike for the fourth time.
I watch him closely but only offer help when he asks, which isn’t easy, given my tendency to control everything.
Over the past year, I’ve learned that my son is a brave and independent little boy.
I’m not sure how much of the nightmare he endured will shape his personality, but he rarely lets himself fully relax.
When faced with anything outside his routine, his instinct is always to stay on the sidelines, acting indifferent, but I’ve been watching him for months and I know when he’s dying to do something but won’t let himself try.
It’s as if he’s afraid of being disappointed.
He doesn’t take risks the way a child his age normally would—he plays it safe.
I hope that one day my boy will feel strong enough to go after what he wants, but I know he needs to do that in his own time.
Lilly and I have been attending family therapy because we want to understand how to support him.
The crazy part is, it’s helping me too. A lot of what the psychologists bring up helps me make sense of my own past.
The gardener pushes the lawn mower by, and Bruno subtly steers his bike toward me.
He’s still wary of strangers. The only people he feels completely safe with are us—me and his mother.
Bruno calls her by all kinds of names: Angel Lilly, Mommy Angel, Mommy Lilly, Mommy Angel Lilly. The variations are endless, but I know what really melts her heart is when he simply calls her “Mommy.”
She is so brave.
At first, I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to give him everything he needed, afraid I wouldn’t be good enough to be a father, but Lilly convinced me we could do this together. And now I can’t imagine life without them.
For someone who got used to being alone, having a child running through the house and a woman waiting for me . . . There’s nothing better in the world.
My friendship with Ethan has slowly gotten back to what it was. I love him like a brother, even though part of me still can’t forget that, because of his stupid plan, I hurt my wife.
“Any hungry dinosaurs craving cookies and milk?” my beautiful wife calls out, coming from the back of the house.
That’s an ongoing joke between the two of them.
I don’t know much about this dinosaur of theirs, but every time she mentions it, Bruno drops whatever he’s doing and runs straight to her. He usually comes back with snacks too, so I’ve figured out this dinosaur has been doing pretty well.
“The three of us will want some, Mommy,” he says.
As soon as he calls her by the title she loves so much, a smile brighter than the sun spreads across my wife’s face. “Three?” she asks.
“Yes. Me and Amos, but dino is also very excited about your cookies,” he says, patting his stomach.
I walk over to her, take the tray from her hands, and pull her into my arms. “I love you,” I say for the thousandth time, because it never feels like enough. I kiss her, because I’m completely addicted when it comes to her, and Lilly smiles.
“We love you too,” she says, placing my hand on her rounded belly where our twin daughters are growing.
The doctor asked if we had twins in the family, and it was easy for Lilly to answer, but I have no idea. I don’t even know if I have any blood relatives still alive. Pride has kept me from looking for the people who abandoned me.
In a few months, our family of three will become five, and I’m more excited than ever. The fear I felt when we adopted Bruno will now be multiplied by three.
The one thing that keeps me calm is that Lilly was born to be a mother. She manages and organizes our lives so naturally, soothing the storm inside me.
“Hey babies, are you hungry too?” Bruno asks, cupping his little hands around his mouth to talk to his mom’s belly.
At first, we were worried about how he’d react to the pregnancy.
But he was instantly fascinated by the idea of having company.
He was also quite proud of himself when I explained that he’d be the oldest and would have to help take care of his little sisters.
The seriousness with which he listened made me realize he isn’t just any ordinary little boy.
Sometimes when he laughs or asks the funniest questions, I forget everything he’s been through. But other times, when his gaze drifts, when he disconnects from us and the world around him, all I want is to go back in time and kill Maria and Jonathan all over again.
“They’re answering!” Bruno shouts, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Feel this, Daddy!” he says, grabbing my hand and placing it on his mom’s belly while Lilly and I stare at each other, stunned.
It’s the first time he’s called me that, but I quickly recover and share in his joy. “Is there a party going on in there?” I ask him, though my eyes are on Lilly.
She smiles and picks up a cookie. “They’re probably hungry,” she says, taking a bite.
I pull her into my arms, drawing our son close as well.
Every single day, I thank whoever is watching over me for giving me the chance to be part of this incredible family.
Each of us has known loss, pain, and abandonment in some way. But now the three of us are here together, loving each other and trying to leave the nightmares behind.
We’ve been given a second chance, and I don't intend to waste it.
The past is over.
We’re going to rewrite our stories.