Page 43 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)

With every step, I can feel her anxiety growing—just like mine.

It’s as if the fortress I’ve spent my life building and reinforcing around myself is starting to crumble. Because no matter what I’ve told her about not making plans for the future, Lilly is getting under my skin.

She won’t settle, like the other women I’ve had, for only what I’m willing to give—my body and the pleasure I can offer her. She digs deeper and wants to see what’s beneath the surface.

After we hand over our IDs at the reception, I head into the room. I asked her to wait for a moment, so Lilly hangs back behind me, almost hidden by my body. Some part of me still tries to shield her.

Bruno, just like last time, is sitting on the bed, but now his legs are pulled up to his chest and his face is wet with tears. The nurse I hired to care for him exclusively is pacing the room, looking completely lost, and she doesn’t hide her relief when she sees me.

“Hey, buddy. What’s wrong? I heard you’re not eating,” I say, pretending not to notice his crying.

He stares at me with far more intensity than a child of barely five years old should be capable of, and I know the exact moment his anger will surface—I’ve lived through it too many times myself. Anger, pain, that feeling of being unprotected, abandoned.

It first appears in his eyes, like a storm building, and I’m not surprised when he lets it out at me.

“You’re a liar! You said you’d come back, but you were gone for two whole days!” And to drive the point home, he holds up his little fingers to show how many days I’ve been away.

How many times did I lash out at my mother the same way? How many times did I try to show her that she didn’t really care about me and would eventually forget about me?

Trying to remember what she used to do to calm me down, I keep my voice low, as if his shouting doesn’t faze me. “I was home. I hadn’t been back in a long time and needed to go for a bit.”

“You forgot about me. You forgot you said you’d come back!”

I keep Lilly shielded behind me, and as if sensing that it’s best to stay in the background for now, she simply squeezes my hand in silent support.

“That’s not true, buddy. I didn’t forget about you for a single moment. Even while I was away, I was still hunting the bad people.”

Blood told me over the phone that when Bruno wakes up from his nightmares, he asks for protection from the bad woman—and I have no doubt he means Maria.

My answer seems to calm him a little, and his eyes tell me—though his mouth still won’t admit it—that he knows exactly what I’m talking about. “Did you kill the monsters, Amos?”

God, he shouldn’t have to ask questions like that. “No, buddy. But the police will arrest them soon.”

Clearly, that wasn’t what he wanted to hear, because he starts screaming again, “Liar! Go away! I don’t like you! You’re a liar! You’re not my friend!”

Before I can stop her, Lilly pulls her hand from mine and steps into the room. “It’s my fault he left,” she says. “My name’s Lilly. He came to visit me. Amos is my boyfriend, and I missed him so much.”

Bruno looks at her, wide-eyed, and his expression softens instantly. Without giving any hint of what he’ll do, he kneels on the bed and reaches a hand out toward her. “Are you an angel?”

His words shock me so much I take a step back. That’s the exact question I asked my mother when she saved me the day I escaped Maria’s house. It’s like watching a movie—a replay of my own story almost twenty years later.

“Do I look like one?” she asks, taking his outstretched hand.

Still a little cautious, Bruno inches closer and, to my surprise, touches her face. “Yes,” he whispers. “Will you be my guardian angel, Lilly?”

She smiles, placing her hand over his. “I can’t think of a better job than being your angel. What’s your name?”

“Bruno,” he answers, no longer crying and with all his anger gone. For the first time since I met him, he’s acting like a child his age. “Will you stay? I’ll share my lunch with you, Angel Lilly.”

She doesn’t even look at me for permission. “That sounds like a great idea. How did you know I’m starving?”

Like the nurse, I watch their interaction in silence.

“I’m hungry too,” he says, glancing at me. “Will you eat with us too, Amos?”

“I thought you were mad at me.”

He wipes his eyes with his tiny hands. “I don’t want you to leave forever. I thought you’d never come see me again. I saw the girls at the other house. Everybody threw up their lunch, and I was scared I’d get sick too. Am I going to live here? There aren’t other kids around.”

Lilly looks at me, confused, and I give her a look that says, I’ll explain later.

“Did you like the other kids?” I ask, purposely avoiding the fact that he witnessed the poisoning—even if he doesn’t understand what it was.

“I did.”

“But you never talked to the other kids.”

“I don’t like talking, just playing. Blood brought me soldiers and a soccer team. Wanna play with me?”

We spend the whole day at the clinic. I have burgers and milkshakes delivered, and Bruno and Lilly have an absolute feast, while I mostly pretend to eat—too fascinated by the instant bond forming between them.

Lilly chats with him, answering all his questions, and she is honest when he asks if she could live here too. She explains that she is a student and has her own house, but that she will visit him often.

She didn’t need to promise that. If it were anyone else, I’d be worried about setting the boy up for another disappointment. But with Lilly, I know it won’t be the case— because I remember her telling me how her own parents let her down.

“It’s time for him to rest,” the nurse says, looking nervous.

“It’s time for us too,” I reply, because the poor woman looks about ready to have a nervous breakdown, probably intimidated by my size.

“Bruno, we have to go,” Lilly says. “But I’ll come back so we can play more.”

He holds up his little hand. “How many fingers of days, Angel Lilly?”

She glances at her phone, probably checking her class schedule, then gently holds up three of his fingers, which seems to satisfy him.

“You too?” the boy asks me.

“I won’t always come on the same days as Lilly, but I’ll come back too.”

He clings to her, hugging her neck, but catches me off-guard when he pulls away from her arms and stops in front of me.

I kneel to be at his level.

“Don’t leave forever,” he says, repeating what he said earlier, once again surprising me with his maturity.

Pain has made him grow up way too fast.

“I won’t leave forever,” I promise, and this is the first time I’ve ever made a true commitment to another human being, something I always swore I’d never do.

He hugs me too, and as I hold him, I look over at my blonde angel—the one even a wounded child could recognize—and I try to fight the ever-growing feeling that I won’t let her go again.

Lilly is mine.