Page 17 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)

“I thought we already had this conversation, Lilly.”

I should be embarrassed by the question I just asked. It wasn’t planned, but I’m curious—every time we’re close, it feels like we hate each other, so maybe Martina’s right.

“I’m not hitting on you, Amos. I’m just curious. I never thought someone like you could be attracted to someone like me, but my friend—you know, the one who’s engaged—she thinks she understands this stuff better than I do.”

He takes a breath like he’s trying to calm himself, and my eyes get stuck on the way his throat moves—broad and strong, like the rest of him. “You really don’t know what you’re doing, do you, Lilly? Is this some kind of game?”

“No. You know what? Forget it. It doesn’t matter. I just wanted to see if I’m even capable of . . .”

“Of what?”

“Of catching the attention of a man like you.”

“ A man like me? ”

“A real man. Not a boy.”

He takes a step toward me, and my instincts scream for me to back away. But I don’t. I’m too caught up in his eyes.

“What are you trying to do, Lilly?”

“It was just a test. But I think—”

His hand closes around the back of my neck, forcing me to lift my face to his.

“Memorize what you just said: I’m not a boy.

” His face dips closer to mine, and my heart starts pounding so fast I think I might actually die.

“My desires, Lilly, are not the kind you kiss on the cheek and walk away from.”

“So what do you do instead?”

I already know what he’s going to say—and honestly, I don’t know what got into me—but I don’t want him to let go just yet.

A cruel, cold smile pulls at his lips. He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he leans down to whisper in my ear, “ Fuck . That’s what I do. Dirty, hard fucks.”

I start to shake. And even though I know he’s trying to scare me, I don’t push him away. “I thought making love was always the same thing.”

“You shouldn’t say things like that to me, Lilly.”

“Why not?”

“Because it makes me want to teach you.”

My legs turn to jelly. “We don’t even like each other.”

“This has nothing to do with liking. This is about the kind of need I feel for you and how badly I want to taste every inch of you. But I can’t. You’re not just a pure little angel. You’re my best friend’s sister.”

His words seem to pull him out of whatever trance we were in, and I’m left humiliated by yet another verbal rejection.

Finally, I find my dignity again and pull away from him.

“Like I said, it was just curiosity. There’s a big difference between wanting something and actually doing it.

We’re not never going to happen because you’re Ethan’s best friend, Amos.

We’re not going to happen because I won’t be just another body for a man who’s already made it clear that that’s all he wants from women.

I have a brain and a heart too. When I choose someone, it won’t be a guy who’s keeping score in some notebook. ”

He watches me in silence, like he’s seeing me for the first time. He doesn’t look angry—but still, I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

So I take control of the situation. “Like I mentioned earlier, I’m going to spend a few days in Saint Barthélemy.”

“Ethan didn’t say anything about a trip.”

“Because he doesn’t know. I decided on the flight here. And considering we can’t seem to be in the same room without fighting, it’s probably for the best. When I come back, classes will have started. Then, two more weeks and my brother will be back in Boston, and I’ll finally move out.”

“I never said you had to move out so soon.”

“No, but you made it clear you didn’t want me here. It’s fine, don’t worry. I’m Nora’s daughter. I know how to take care of myself.”

“And how would you do that? How would you protect yourself from me, for example, if I decided I wanted you?” He steps toward me again.

“You wouldn’t. I’m not worth risking your friendship with my brother.”

“You underestimate how much I want you, Lilly.”

My pulse goes wild again. Just when I was starting to recover from the memory of his hand in my hair, he grabs a strand between his fingers.

“Why?” I ask.

“What?”

“What is it about me that attracts you so much?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he walks to the door. I think he’s going to leave me standing here, but then he turns back. “Do you like the Hamptons?”

“What?”

“This whole travel obsession—do you just want a beach or are you actually looking for an escape?”

“A beach. And maybe a little fun. Why?”

“I have a house in the Hamptons. I can have it ready for you.”

“Hmm . . .I don’t know. The idea isn’t to be alone. I want to have fun. Start living.” I bite my lip, trying not to ask the question burning in my throat—but I do anyway. “Would you come with me?”

“Why?”

I shrug, like it’s no big deal. “Well, from what I understand about your agreement with Ethan, you’re sort of my .

. .guardian while he’s gone. And if I remember the Hamptons right—some of my mom’s relatives had places there—the nightlife’s pretty wild.

I plan to enjoy it, and maybe you’d be worried I’d do something reckless. ”

I know I’m playing with fire. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what he said. That tension is still thrumming under my skin.

You underestimate how much I want you, Lilly.

I want to know how much. Even after my whole speech about not wanting to be just a body to a man.

I don’t plan on doing anything I’ll regret. I just want to push my limits a little.

“Don’t play games with me, Lillyana. You don’t know the rules.”

I hide a smile. “Maybe I’m starting to learn how to make my own.”