Page 54 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)

“I’m crazy about you,” he repeats over and over, holding me in his arms—and for a moment, I think I must be dreaming.

Who is this girl who gave herself so shamelessly to this sinner?

I don’t even seem like the same Lillyana who arrived in Boston just over a month ago.

I gave myself to him—and I’m not afraid.

My whole body is exhausted, and I need the shelter Amos gives me.

He stands up with me in his arms, kissing my hair as he tests the doors until he finds my bedroom, instead of asking which one it is.

I could tell him, but the feeling of being cared for and protected in his arms is too good, so I let him do what he loves: asserting his dominance in every detail.

He sets me on the edge of the sink and starts filling the bathtub. My dress is down around my waist, my breasts exposed, but I’m not embarrassed. With Amos, everything feels natural.

I’m his—and I don’t fight that. I know I’ll never feel this way with anyone else.

“Don’t ever act like I don’t matter again,” I say, staring at my hands.

He stands in front of me. “I’ve fallen in love with you, and I’m not asking for anything in return, but if you’re going to treat me like I’m nothing, then end it first. If you convince me I don’t mean more to you than the others, I won’t come back.

I’ll miss you terribly, but you have my word, Amos: I won’t forgive you. ”

“That won’t happen. I want you, Lilly.”

“I love you. I don’t care about the future. You’re worth every second—even if all we ever have is today. But be honest with me. Always.”

“You want honesty?”

“Always.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be alive tomorrow.

I won’t stop doing what I do, Lilly, because it’s who I am.

But there’s no time limit for us anymore.

I want a future. I want plans. I can’t tell you how long we’ll have, because no timeline would ever be enough.

A day, a year, a lifetime—it would never be enough. ”

“Remember what I told you about promises, Amos? Don’t say anything that isn’t true.”

“I’m crazy about you. Completely crazy about you.”

“Then why did you answer me the way you did before?”

He lifts me to my feet, pulling my dress and panties down—then undresses himself, steps into the bath, and pulls me in front of him.

“I’m not worthy of you. I’m a killer. You want to know what I do?

I kill people who hurt the defenseless. And I don’t feel guilty.

I don’t lose sleep after sending some souls straight to hell. ”

I turn in his arms, looking at him as I try to process what he’s telling me. “Ethan too?”

“I won’t speak for your brother, Lilly. You’ll have to ask him. But I’m showing you who I am.”

“Why not bring them to justice?”

“Because many of the ones I eliminate would find a way to walk free. The system isn’t the same for the rich and the poor. There are loopholes. Some of the evidence—evidence only we have—wouldn’t be admissible in court. So I became judge and executioner.”

For a moment, I stare at him—speechless. Then I ask, “Tell me about the children.”

“They’re sold as sex slaves. Not to ordinary people. To those who can pay top dollar.”

“My God . . . Bruno?” I ask, my eyes filling with tears. I’m growing so attached to him. I’ve already visited him twice since I made that promise.

“You adore him, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Every time I call him, I can hear the joy in his voice—even my cold heart can’t ignore it.”

“You don’t have a cold heart,” I say, because I truly don’t believe he does.

“Bruno is one of the lucky ones. He wasn’t abused in every way like the others,” he says, ignoring my words and looking uncomfortable talking about himself.

“Why is he alone in that clinic?”

“Because someone tried to poison the children. One of them died. Those kids are living proof of the organization’s depravity. Besides the FBI, many of our men are involved in their security too.”

“You protect them.”

“No. I eliminate those who hurt them.”

“It’s the same thing, Amos. We’re just looking at it from different angles. Don’t tell me you don’t care about those children—or you wouldn’t take responsibility for Bruno’s wellbeing. He has a private nurse—and I saw the bodyguards at the clinic.”

“You shouldn’t be so calm about what I’m telling you, Lillyana. Do you understand what I do? Who I am?”

“I do. You save the victims when the state fails them.”

“I’m not a hero, Lilly. I kill without losing sleep over it.”

“You only kill the bad ones.”

“Some would say I have no right to judge and execute.”

“Maybe. But those are the same people who sit at home watching TV, pretending there’s no evil in the world—that children like Bruno and that poor little girl didn’t suffer hell at the hands of monsters.”

“I thought you went to a convent school.” He tries to joke.

“I did. But I never wanted to be a nun. I know the difference between right and wrong. I’m not someone who forgives unconditionally. And I think anyone who commits crimes like the ones you’re telling me about deserves punishment.”

“So you’re saying you don’t care that I’ve killed people?”

“I’m saying I don’t judge you for killing criminals.”

He falls silent—and I think it’s because he wasn’t expecting that answer.

He grabs a sponge, fills it with soap, and starts washing my back.

“During one of my visits, I asked the doctor who would take care of Bruno once he’s discharged. He said he’d probably be sent to another orphanage. I don’t want that to happen.”

He stops washing me. “What are you thinking?”

“I have more money than I’ll ever need. I want to give him a home.” I turn and drape my legs over his.

“You’re only twenty—and you’re thinking about adopting a child?”

“I don’t know if adoption is the right word—but maybe, yes. I want to take care of him.”

“Do you have any idea how big a responsibility it is to take in a child who’s been through what Bruno has? There are things he’s lived through that will never go away. Look at me. Bruno could become someone like me, Lilly.”

“Then he’d be lucky.”

“You’re wrong. I’m not a good person. I want you, I’ll protect you and care for you, I’ll honor your love. But I don’t know if I can give you the same in return. I don’t know how to love.”

“I’m not asking for your love. That’s not something you can demand.

And I’m not talking about us—I’m talking about me and Bruno.

You say you don’t know how to love. I do.

And I have enough love for both of you inside me.

I’m not asking you to share this responsibility with me.

But I won’t let him be adopted again and possibly returned.

I want to be sure he’ll never have to leave my home. ”

“Why not bring him to the institution we’re going to create?”

“ We ’re going to create? You'll be doing this with me?”

“I’m in. I don’t need even a tenth of the money I have. I can easily invest it in helping these kids.”

“I’d love to run this project. But I don’t want Bruno to have to wait.

The system is flawed—you said so yourself.

In the meantime, while we build Trust , he could be placed with another family.

I don’t want that. I’m calling my lawyers next week.

I want to give him everything he’s never had—but most of all, I want to give him back his trust in the world. ”