Page 21 of The Sinner’s Desire (The Sinner’s Touch #1)

“You were the one who came into my room.”

“I made a mistake. I shouldn't have seen you half-naked. Get dressed. I'll wait for you downstairs.”

She doesn't move.

“Lillyana . . .”

“If it's wrong for you to see me like this, then why don't I feel ashamed?”

“Fuck, Lilly.”

What little brain function I have left is hanging by a thread. I can’t think—only feel—and every instinct I have is telling me to make her mine.

“If you don’t move, I’m going to kiss you.”

She shivers but doesn’t back away. “Kiss me,” she whispers.

“I won’t stop at a kiss, Lilly. Not just a kiss on the mouth, at least. I want to taste you.”

“I don’t even know what you mean, but I’m not afraid. Touch me. Kiss me.”

Just as I’m about to throw my conscience into hell, the phone rings—and by the ringtone, I know it’s Ethan.

It’s like a bucket of ice water crashing over me.

On the other end of the world is the man who trusted me with his sister, and I was about to betray that trust.

“I’ll be waiting downstairs,” I say, unlocking my phone and walking away from my downfall.

The way I just lost control is a sign—I can't be myself around her. I want to believe that even if Ethan hadn’t called, I wouldn’t have gone through with it . . .but I’m not sure. I’ve never stood in front of something so bright, and I’m getting addicted to the purity of this girl.

In my world of debauchery, anything goes behind closed doors. That’s why I look for women who are into the same things.

But Lilly is just a girl, I try to reason, because it's only been five minutes since I ended the call with her brother—and yet the desire is still there, burning.

The thought of her being with another man last night nearly drove me insane, and that makes no fucking sense, especially since I’ve never once cared—not even after hours of wild sex—who the woman I’d just been with would sleep with the next day.

I could pretend this unbalance is just about concern for her safety, but that would be utter bullshit.

When she said she’d spent time with another guy, I felt betrayed—and again, that makes no goddamn sense. She’s not mine.

But you want her, and that desire isn’t going away, my subconscious whispers.

Lilly is screwing with my rules. Fucking with my head.

She moved in with us looking for freedom, and just now, I acted like a caveman—and instead of telling me to go to hell, she actually seemed to like it.

She’s becoming my madness. My imbalance. My secret craving.

Could I even try?

I shake my head.

It would never work.

Not just because of Ethan, but because I’ve lived way more than my biological age suggests. I might be thirty, but inside, I’m ancient. I’ve gone through more than most people will in a lifetime.

If I ever made her mine, it would spark an all-out war with my friend. He’s always known, without me ever needing to say, that I don’t trust women, and that to me, they’re what I hope to be for them: a release valve. A way to escape the pressure.

I'm no misogynist, but Maria’s betrayal left a mark too deep for even my adoptive mother to fix my faith in women.

And on top of that, Lilly is just a girl. How can I even consider getting involved with her?

There’s only one explanation: I need to fuck. The lust is clogging my brain, taking over logic.

I’m not thinking straight, and the way she gave herself to me earlier—so innocent—hit me like a drug.

How do you walk away from an angel begging to be taken when her light is promising you heaven?

I want to taste her. I want to lose myself in her softness, feel her hands on me, own her moans.

I pace the living room like a caged animal, and suddenly—I feel her.

Before I even turn around, I know she’s here.

“Amos.”

When I face her, I’m stunned as hell.

Lilly isn’t in casual clothes; she’s dressed for the night.

Jealousy hits me hard. “You’re going out.”

“Yeah. I’m going to a nightclub. I told you I wanted to have some fun.”

“With who?”

“Will you think I’m pathetic if I say I’m going alone?”

No. I’ll actually feel relieved.

“You’re not allowed to drink yet. Why a nightclub?”

“I want to dance. I’ve never done that before. Everything’s new. Are you staying here tonight? If so, we can talk tomorrow.”

I should be lecturing her about leaving her phone off last night—handle what I came here to deal with—but I’m hypnotized by her body in that tight little black dress.

Lilly isn’t just beautiful. She’s not just the blonde angel I thought she was. She’s . . .mouthwatering.

“Wanna come?”

“What?”

“Dance. It might help your bad mood.”

“I don’t go to clubs to dance.”

“Oh. You don’t know how to dance?”

“I do. I just don’t go to clubs for the music.”

First, she looks confused. Then her cheeks turn so red they might explode. “You go for the women?”

I don’t answer—and I see the exact moment when her eyes start to spark.

“Can you teach me how people hook up in a place like that?”

“What?”

“I’ve never kissed anyone. That’s why I wanted to go out tonight. To meet someone and have lots of kisses.”

“No.”

“No what, Amos? Only guys get to date?”

“I didn’t say that. But guys who go out at night . . .they’re not looking for just kisses, Lilly.”

“Like you, for example?” She looks genuinely upset—and somehow, that calms me. Is she . . .jealous?

“Exactly. Like I told you—I don’t go to nightclubs to dance.”

“So what do you do? Pick a girl like candy at a store? I can do that too.”

“Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do with your pick? Hold hands? Share innocent kisses?”

“I’m leaving, Amos. I may be inexperienced, but I don’t need to hear this. Just because I’m not ready to strip for a new guy every night like you apparently do with your women, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to have fun.”

“We still haven’t talked.”

“I told you we can talk tomorrow. I’m under your supervision, which is why I invited you—to show respect for my brother. I’m an adult. You can’t stop me from going out.”

I take a step closer to see if she’s bluffing, but Lilly looks dead set on going through with it.

Fuck, are her lashes real? She looks like a damn doll.

I force myself to stay on topic.

I’m going to the club—I decide that now—but only for her safety.

I know that club well. There’s no way I’m letting her go alone.

For Ethan, I say to myself, even though I know damn well he’s not the real reason.

“Come with me,” she says, not realizing I’ve already decided. “Forget I’m Ethan’s sister just for tonight. I’ve never had fun before, and I want to do it with you.”

I swallow hard, fighting a brutal war with my arousal. “I don’t know how to have fun, Lilly.”

“Have you tried?”

“You know that’s not why you’re asking me. You don’t want fun. You want me.” I take her hand. “You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”

“No, I don’t. But I want to find out.”

I was walking her to the door, but I stop. “That just shows how reckless you are.”

“I’ve been a good girl my whole life, Amos. Now I want to peek at the other side.”